Do You See Me
Do You See Me?
In 2018, I wrote this poem during one of the darkest seasons of my life—a time when I was just holding on. Rereading it now, years later, was incredibly difficult, and deciding to share again was even harder. The weight of these words overwhelmed me. The depth of this pain was deep. The reality of who I was back then, hit me like a wave. But while it was painful to revisit, it was also a testament to the person I am today! Back then, I was overmedicated by bad medicine and bad doctors. I was drowning in a fog that was slowly consuming me. I was surrounded by unhealthy influences—both in my body and in my life. It wasn’t just the medications I needed to detox from. I needed to detox from the toxic people and the past pain holding me back. The hopelessness had latched onto me like chains.
Healing wasn’t quick and it shouldn’t be for all I had crushing me. It took years of hard work, to find the right doctors, therapists, and healers who truly cared about my well-being. I had to get grounded—not just mentally, but physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I had to make the choice each day to step into the light and stay on course. I needed to trust in something greater. I aimed to rebuild my life with Jesus at the center. And that’s the thing—I realized healing isn’t a quick fix. It’s a lifestyle. It’s choosing love, hope, and faith every single day.
If you’re reading this and you’re hurting like I was, please hold on to hope. Get help. Tell a safe person. Stop putting unhealthy junk into your body. This includes unnecessary medications, other substances, toxic people, and destructive thoughts. Do the detox and take care of yourself. And most importantly, get to know Jesus! I promise you, as alone as you may feel, you are never truly alone. Jesus is always with you, even in the darkest moments. Let Him be your strength. Let Him guide you into healing. There is light ahead—keep going. 💛
Do You See Me?
I don’t recognize myself anymore.
These eyes are empty, hollow.
Still, my heart beats, and my blood flows.
But I don’t trust the thoughts in my head—
Too numb to feel, too blinded by the glow.
Where did the person I once was go?
I am not real anymore.
When did I become a shadow of myself?
My body lingers in a void, I barely exist.
A ghost in the room, unseen, unheard.
Do you see me?
I go through the motions,
Giving what I have, though it’s never enough.
Cracked smiles, blurred eyes—
Day in, day out, whispering the same lie:
I am okay.
Do you see me?
I take my pills to dull the ache,
Not who I want to be,
But they keep me afloat.
I am not afraid for me—
The future is not mine to hold.
No control, no security,
No safe place to rest my weary soul.
Nightmares haunt me,
And my life feels borrowed,
A blank page waiting to be erased.
Do you see me?
I am a character in a story not my own,
A plot twist no one saw coming.
My soul drifts further, unanchored—
Who am I?
Do you know?
Do you see me?
I don’t belong here.
I don’t belong anywhere.
Unlikable.
Too different.
Will I ever find a home?
A place where I am loved,
A place where I belong?
You fed me promises like candy,
And like a child, I believed.
But I am forgotten, left on a shelf
Until you need something to play with.
You ask me to pretend,
To wear this mask of “okay.”
But my past has shackled me,
And you tighten the leash.
Do you see me?
You are tired of my pain,
Tired of my desperate attempts to escape.
And I…
I am tired too.
Tired of following without question,
Tired of feeling broken and hopeless.
The things that mattered before don’t anymore.
Soon, I will be ashes—
Scattered, free in the wind.
This caged mind will finally take flight.
The silence is too loud now,
Screaming, deafening.
I just want love again—
To remember what joy feels like.
What is that?
I exist in a coma now.
Do you see me?
This is my secret life.
Be free to love me—
Or for love, set me free.
No one knows this hell.
No one knows the past, the pain,
Or the person I used to be.
I am changed forever.
Save me.
Do you see me?
It is dark and broken here,
Walls of stone, cold and unrelenting.
Loneliness wraps around me like a chain,
And the questions never stop.
But the answers never come.
I beg for God to find me,
To pull me from this abyss.
But all I see are shattered pieces,
And you… you break me more each day.
Every night, I cry out—
Lord, what is wrong with me?
What will wake me from this endless sleep?
What led me so far from the path?
Why am I like this?
Why are you?
Why do I take this?
Take these chains off my heart,
My soul, my mind.
Heal us—
Or let me go.
SK
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