How To Be Happy

How to be happy when you’re not a happy person? I have came to the realization that I can not be a happy person. I mean, I want to be but I am not. Everyone needs me to be happy, supportive and uplifting because that would make them more comfortable but I don’t think that…

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Hard To Breath #hillfire #santaanawinds

Santa Ana Wind https://www.google.org/publicalerts/alert?aid=127acaa8aa2b8d97&hl=en&gl=US&source=web https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Ana_winds I never realize what wind could do! I lived in North Dakota/ Minnesota before moving here. There were days the wind would howl at 60-70 mph for days and nothing really happened. Your hair would get messy, your front door decorations and all your flower pots would blow away but…

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Oh My Soul

The Consequence of Not Trusting God https://www.youversion.com/the-bible-app/ http://www.brittanyrust.com/ You will have moments of weakness that test your faith and commitment. Because we are not perfect chances are you will give into the weakness a time or two. Your flesh will decide to take the path of least resistance and the world will be your guide.…

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There’s No Place Like Home

  It was right there… How much I have taken for granted. I wanted to explore and see the world, to show my kids everything. To experience more than the boundaries that we knew. It all  sounded so good. I wanted a place that I felt understood, a place that I fit in. The need…

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My Medicine, My Faith

Saving my life one pill at a time I take medication to keep myself emotional and mental balanced. I’m not ashamed to say it. I know it’s something that I need. This world can be a bit too much for a messy girl like me. God made me to be, empathic, emotional, convicted and loyal.…

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Hi! My Name Is Contradiction

Feelings are messy little assholes! I am having a difficult time deciding if I should uploading my Vlog that I recored yesterday… because yesterday I was more emotional, messy and just a lot…a lot doesn’t cover it. Today, I feel a bit better…. I’m different today and I don’t why. I’m still a mess, that’s…

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Invisible Girl Living In An Alien World

I seem to be having a rough go of it. I live in a place that is entirely foreign to me. I feel like nothing makes sense here. It almost feels wrong to be here at times. Pasting people as I walk through the neighborhood here, I feeling like an unwelcome visitor. Every single day…

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Let’s Get Caught Up…

  It’s been a minute since I’ve been able to Vlog at all! I decided to give it a very unprofessional go! It was a mess but hey, that’s me! I’ve been a mental mess, a physical mess and an emotional mess…but still a faithful girl all the way!    So wow okay! I don’t…

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Caught Up In My Head

      Being in totally recovery mode for as long as I have been gives you sufficient time to think…and think some more. Which truthfully has been a good thing (mostly). I have spent the last few months…8 months earlier or more trying not to think (too) deeply into things but you know me,…

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Where’s My Writing Mojo?

At the doctors office for pre post-op. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..   I’m not sure what it is? Why I’m struggling to get my fingers moving again. I almost feel like I can’t write or “go back to work” until my monsters…aka kids…go back to school. So much has happened. So much has changed and so much more…

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What was I expecting?

  It’s been 6 days since my surgery and I have say that I feel surprisingly well! It’s such a bummer, I can’t leap over tall buildings, lift a car with my bear hands or even sweep my kitchen floor!    In all seriousness, all my Endo pain is gone. I can move my hip…

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Quotes & Verses

  These are just a few of the Bible verses and quotes I have been meditating on over the last few days, trying to keep my spirts up. Surgery count down is on…4 more days! Pre-Op appointment is tomorrow afternoon.    “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in…

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What This Endo All About?

After receiving a few messages, asking me what’s Endometriosis? I thought maybe I should write a post explaining. It’s important to remember that I got these definition off the internet and Endometriosis, also known as Endo, affects every person differently. There are many people who have Endo right this minute and don’t even know it…

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My Pointless ER Trip

    Well let me start by saying, I’m a damn mess! Pure and simple, I’m wrecked and if I didn’t have the husband and amazing friend that I have, I don’t know where I’d be! So thank you Jason and Katie…You guys are the Boom Diggity!       Tuesday after I posted, Good…

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Good Morning Party People

Warning: I just woke up and … ya…sorry for my face. You’re been warned!   Every once in a while I get up before everyone else and I get to be totally alone. Well not totally alone and I didn’t up get because I wanted to. I’m always with my sweet pup Ella, so I am…

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Fat Chick com’in through…

Ok…I’m warning ya’ll right now, this post will be me beating myself up a bit. This is my very weird and unhealthy way of kicking my own ass in to gear. So here we go!    I don’t know what happen to me today. Maybe it was catching a glimpse of myself in the background…

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Goat Face

    You know those goats that scream? It’s pretty hilarious, right? But what if that was the sound you heard coming out of your husband face while he slept? Now add a freight train about to hit a screaming goat? That would be the painful sounds that I hear. I mean to be honest,…

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Pushing Through

    After 5 days of not being able to move or go outside, I finally pushed myself to just do it! There are some days I just can’t, the pain is too overwhelming. I feel like I will throw up everywhere and that’s such a bad look…really. I stay in bed with my heating…

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Get Outside!

Do I sound like a grumpy old timer?  Well, maybe I am! What in the world has happen to kids playing outdoors? They eat all the time! These kids cannot be striving! They have never been striving in their very pamper lives, let alone even hungry! Why do we as the adults, parents…whatever, need to…

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