Today

Today I said a prayer for you. Today will be a better day for you. Today I held your hand a little longer than normal. Today I thought I'd love you a little harder. Today I noticed your laugh and put it on repeat in my head all day. Today I hope your laugh matches … Continue reading Today

Table for one

I'm sitting here at Denny's by myself and I'm good with! It's different, feeling alone and actually being alone. Being alone on Purpose is interesting. I'm taking everything in around. I wondering if I seem weird or sad to others, if they even notice me at all? I see a group of old retired men. … Continue reading Table for one

So Close

So Close I can feel it It seems like if I do something wrong to someone it's a big deal? But if I'm hurt or wronged in someway then I'm just being dramatic? mmm? This is confusing to me.   I going to be real honest here. I can be jerk. This is NOT a … Continue reading So Close

Taken

As I look through these old pictures, I see just how different the paths are that we all took. Though days we thought would last forever, have end and so much sooner than I wished. It's though happy times that I want to hold on to. Before it got mean and bitter. I don't want … Continue reading Taken

How To Be Happy

How to be happy when you're not a happy person? I have came to the realization that I can not be a happy person. I mean, I want to be but I am not. Everyone needs me to be happy, supportive and uplifting because that would make them more comfortable but I don't think that … Continue reading How To Be Happy

Hard To Breath #hillfire #santaanawinds

Santa Ana Wind https://www.google.org/publicalerts/alert?aid=127acaa8aa2b8d97&hl=en&gl=US&source=web https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Ana_winds I never realize what wind could do! I lived in North Dakota/ Minnesota before moving here. There were days the wind would howl at 60-70 mph for days and nothing really happened. Your hair would get messy, your front door decorations and all your flower pots would blow away but … Continue reading Hard To Breath #hillfire #santaanawinds

Oh My Soul

The Consequence of Not Trusting God https://www.youversion.com/the-bible-app/ http://www.brittanyrust.com/ You will have moments of weakness that test your faith and commitment. Because we are not perfect chances are you will give into the weakness a time or two. Your flesh will decide to take the path of least resistance and the world will be your guide. … Continue reading Oh My Soul

My Medicine, My Faith

Saving my life one pill at a time I take medication to keep myself emotional and mental balanced. I'm not ashamed to say it. I know it's something that I need. This world can be a bit too much for a messy girl like me. God made me to be, empathic, emotional, convicted and loyal. … Continue reading My Medicine, My Faith

Lost Together

Us Together In This Place What a true damn mess of a disaster I have been. Before I start this blog, I need saying we found a house 🏠 ❤️ The brake-down I didn't think it was going to happen and my heart was really ready to take a break from looking anymore. Especially after … Continue reading Lost Together

Hi! My Name Is Contradiction

Feelings are messy little assholes! I am having a difficult time deciding if I should uploading my Vlog that I recored yesterday... because yesterday I was more emotional, messy and just a lot...a lot doesn't cover it. Today, I feel a bit better.... I'm different today and I don't why. I'm still a mess, that's … Continue reading Hi! My Name Is Contradiction

Happier

Music makes us feel things. It takes us back, helps us to process the madness in our minds. This song sparked something in me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7Bc3pLyij0   The Song Happier- Marshmello ft. bastille Have you ever heard a song and immediately been taken back to a time or place? All the feelings that you felt back … Continue reading Happier