I am thankful

I start drifting into those “what if” rabbit holes when I let my feelings take over. I catch myself wandering way too far into the future, picturing how it might all play out. I need to take a step back and reflect. It’s time to soak in what I have and appreciate the present moment. I consider the road I traveled to and all that has been achieved. I remember what I have let go of and am free of now. Other times, it’s simply appreciating the little things. I cherish the breath in my lungs. I understand the people who stand firmly by my side, good and bad.

These moments don’t usually last long. Maybe a day or two, sometimes just a few hours. My mind can work overtime, spinning up a web. I’m somehow tangled in it like I walked into my trap. Before I know it, wrapped so tight I can’t move. I want to be stronger in my decisions and abilities. I want to just brush these feelings and thoughts off. But the weight of it all—the pressure to be strong—crashes over me like a wave. And it’s not just in my head; it hits hard enough to make me feel physically sick, too. I am just thankful it doesn’t last long. I have the power to make it stop.

The enemy knows my weak points and how sensitive God made me. He gave me spiritual gifts to know and feel things. But, these gifts make me too sensitive to people and my environment. They also make me ill easily. I become weak and tired. I recharge alone in quiet places. I renew my spirit by doing things that are simple and genuine to me. These activities include writing, listening to music, and just resting while listening to the sound of the wind through trees. I enjoy getting some outside time and talking to God. I hang out with my dogs and am still alone. I spend time with books and plants, oils. Sometimes, I spend time with other genuine people and discuss Jesus and life. It just depends on what I need at the time.

All of this reminds me that life and faith are truly a journey full of valleys and peaks. There are many sunny days and stormy ones, too. My boat gets tossed around, and I’m sure I’ll capsize. But somehow, I find myself on the beach, toes in the sand, taking in the beautiful mountains and the breezy day. I relax and feel so grateful for this life, overwhelmed with abundance. Yet, the very next day may bring destruction and pain—wild winds and fire. It feels as if I’m rolling down a steep peak, unable to catch myself, tumbling toward disaster, with boulders shaking my world every moment. But then I call out, and it all stops; my feet find their footing, and I am no longer falling. The once-sloping, uneven ground becomes level, and the pouring rain has grown a garden. The boulder has formed a shelter, and the fire has refined me. As exhausted as I may be, the wildness of the wind now seems to carry me to a place of rest. God is like that. The pain never comes without a purpose.

I am grateful for:

• Jesus
• Fresh starts
• Good friends
• Family that won’t sell you out
• My husband- he just gets me
• My daughter
• My son
• My home
• Writing and reading
• Coffee
• The smell of mint and lavender
• Healthy food
• My soul belongs to Jesus
• A health body
• A health mind
• My dogs
• Slowing mornings and never being rushing anywhere
• Quite
• Good music and good people
• A marriage that is based on the love of Jesus- So Thankful 🩷

SK-

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