Clear Eyes

And I think to myself… what a wonderful world ๐ŸŒŽ

If I want my world to be ๐Ÿ’•

My voice doesn’t need to be the loudest๐ŸŒŠ

To changes Hearts โ™ฅ๏ธ & move mountains ๐Ÿ”

Remembering who I am & who God has Called me to be ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ

Listening to the inner voice โ™ฅ๏ธ to direct & give me strength ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿฝ

Sometimes I’m shaken & broken ๐Ÿ’” but only to wipe away dirt from my eyes ๐Ÿ‘€

My vision is restored & heart โค๏ธ is back in place ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ

I see truth for what it is and I am at peace โœŒ๐Ÿฝ

xoxo sk

Mini Update: Health & Recovery

Slow- Steady & Frustrating

Ella-my sweet therapy pup

Update: On My Crazy ๐Ÿ˜œ

Since March I have been keeping a journal of everything that I eat, all symptoms and also my workouts.

Just to fresh anyone who cares… I’m in my 30’s going through menopause! Yay me!

I also have a migraines conditions that can cause a “seizure like” effect on my brain/body if I don’t do everything I need to to control it-which can be tricky.

Recently, my neurologist has been testing and observing me for Belly’s Palsy.

What’s Happening So Far

I turned in my journals to my doctor only Friday (7/8/19), so I’m not sure what she thinks yet. But I’ll tell you I do workout, eat well and take my meds like I’m supposed to.

This makes it very frustrating when my weight only goes up! From December to March I had lost 13 lbs and I was killing my self to get that done.

I woke up at 4am to get to the gym, then I would workout a second time at the park by my kids school. When I was done with that workout I would do yoga at home and then do a long, fast paced walk for 45 minutes to an hour before I pick them up from school. At one point I was doing another decent hike with Jason when he got home from work!

Trust me when I say…I was pissed that I had only lost 13lbs after all that and was only eating carrots and cottage cheese everyday!

Oh JOY another day of veggies

Since then I’ve actually maintained that weight loss okay but 3-5lbs here and there will stick around. However, I haven’t lost a single pound since!

My workouts and eating has changed a bit. I couldn’t keep that nightmare up so now I do a light yoga stretching in the morning and at night but have days when I work my core area harder. My new workout routine in more focused and I do it almost everyday, with somedays being longer or shorter than others. I like it but I am not losing and I look that same.

My eating haven’t changed a crazy amount. I fast for long periods during the day and drink lots water. I have had a soda ๐Ÿฅค or cookie every now and then but I intake far less calories and Still I remain a cow ๐Ÿฎ…well in my eyes.

Hormones & Other Meds

My medications do a lot of good for me and a lot of harm. That sucks!

It’s because of medicine that I’m able to have headaches free days and my body is free of aches and pains. But medicine comes with so many side effects too! I gain weight, my eyes burn, I’m sleepy, forget things and even my writing is effected. My cognitive skills are just slower sadly. My energy is drained.

So then I’m giving another medication and that one should help with one thing but has it’s own side effects too. Stomach pain, dry mouth, stuffy head and mood swings… this is my life!

At some point I have to get off the roller coaster!

What Will I do?

I honestly don’t know what the answer is! I’ve been fighting this for along time. I do my research and I think the doctors try too.

Right now I take only what I feel I need for myself emotionally and mentally. Then there’s what I need because of my hysterectomy. I have to be on hormone replacements for that. The rest is all About healing my body and replacing what is missing. If that makes any sense?

If it’s not going to help me then I don’t want it!

Self care & Meditation ๐Ÿง˜โ€โ™€๏ธ

I use to live be Meditation! This is something I’ve been doing before and after my Bible Study. This has made a massive difference in my health.

I also have started to moisturizer ๐Ÿงด like crazy! I use my essential oil everywhere! In the shower, out of the shower, with my face wash, my facial moisturizer and even with my primer before makeup and I cannot believe how it’s helps me.

I use less Advil for pain for aches and pain. I don’t use chemicals on my skin or for breakouts. Honestly, I have so many less breakouts that I don’t worry about that much now.

The oils

**Different oils help with different things. Some with physical pain and others emotional/mental pain.

**Helps me to sleep or give me energy

**Helps with focus, concentration and creativity.

**Other times I just use them to be in a peaceful, calming state to relax

my.doterra.com/skellylou303

For more info on Essential Oils go to my website!

Special Thanks๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ’•

I again want to thank my WordPress Following and everyone else who supports, likes & share & comments!

This Blog has been by far the best medicine for my soul. The people I’ve connected with have been a big part of my healing and direction to brighter place. I’m so very thankful!

Xoxo sk

My Sweetest Friend (youtube)

Best of friends before there was more.

My sweetest friend, still and forever.

Hurt feelings, painful words, loneness and crushing heartache takes it toll. You’re not the only one with insecurities. You’re not the only one who has fears that the other could just walk away.

We love and we hurt.

Then we fight and keep loving some more.

XOXO sk

#DreamTeam #2001 #2004

 

Check out P!nks Facebook page here P!nk

Enjoy Poems? Here’s few from the past and from some other bloggers I enjoy! Check them out!

Don’t Let Me Fall Me

parallax

The Eclectic Contrarian

 

The Bags I carry

 

 

 

2 years

In the last 2 years I’ve experienced somethings that have really changed my laugh and broken my smile…literally! Thank you Bell’s Palsy!ย 

The amount of change, worry, fear, loneliness and control over every decision made over my life has really crippled me. I hate the person I have become. Never in a million years did I think I would end up this way. I have really confused love.

I’m not sure what’s best for me anymore and that’s a scary thing. I’ve been so isolated and drugged quite frankly that allowing someone to pull the strings has been easy. You don’t realize it’s even happening because every word I eat up and it’s so easy to spin a web in my head. It’s sadly so effortless for me to let challenges go or take the blame, feel the guilt.

Let’s be honest my mental state has been weak for some time now. I have basically disappeared in my life and in my families life in most ways. Sure I take up space and they need me to do things for them. God knows they would starve without me. I’m here to lend an ear and I enjoy our conversations. My sisters always manage to get a laugh out of me here and there. But just because I’m alive doesn’t mean I’m living. I’m not and haven’t been.

 

6 months

The last 6 months may have been the worse yet. The only time in my life since high school that I have thought it’d be fine if I was dead. It’s terrifying when you are able to convince yourself that the world will be fine without. Someone will take over and handle your position. I was okay with, it was weird like I came to peace with it. For awhile when these thought would creep in my head I’d cry and get real sad but after awhile I’d think, “What will be, will be.” and I just didn’t care anymore.

I can honestly say the lack of love and care that I have received, along with not having the ability to control anything over my life has made me stop caring about my life at all. It’s like I’m walk around in a very bad dream but other times ( and most of the time ) I feel like I’m watching myself in someone else’s dream.

 

1 1/2 month

Now, I have had some tiny sparks of life here and there in the last month or so. Like a dead person being brought back to life but not fully. Maybe it’s going to be a process after being part of the walking-dead for long.

I have started to talk a little more and conversations about important topics are now happening, which is why it makes me absolutely insane when I’m told I’m not talking and/or my words start to get turned around or used against me.

I’m making good progress here but I see that door still. It’s just over my shoulder and I look at it often, it’s not far away. I could walk through it at anytime, shut down and go away and stop all this if I wanted to. That’s something I could do. They don’t know what it takes for me every second not to.

 

Sometimes I feel like I’m be taunted.

There are times I find myself crawling back into bed but only for a moment. I just need to give my mind a little break. Break from the needs and wants of everyone. I can’t do much for myself but I can go lay down for just minute. I can give myself that.

Sure, it pisses everyone off because they want me up and doing things for them or at the very less giving them my attention. “Give me a freaking second!”, I yell and then they do but my made to feel the worse Mom ever for it… usually. Being mental disabled is exhausting.

However, I’ve been better about trying to keep the laundry up and the house mostly clean. I read to my kids just about daily and have taken them to the library a few times now ( outings were hard before ). Making dinner and planning ahead has been easier to do most the time. I have my moments but I get it done.

To all of you this may sound obvious… may be not a big achievement.ย  If I read this earlier in my life I would have thought this person was pretty pitiful, “You can’t cook dinner and you’re able to now read to your kids?”ย  What the hell is up with that? I know it’s crazy but I’m not who I was and every month, every day, I’m a new person and I’m fighting a new and terrible freaking struggle that I never imagined.

Now and Moving Forward

As you saw at the top of this post there’s a music video by the artist/musician NF www.nfrealmusic.comย 

I like all music and I’ve written about that before, though rap isn’t everyones cup of tea I understand. However, I have a weird connect with NFs’ work it seems. Maybe we are just both really messed up people wanting to not be and he just happens to be far better at words than I am.

I listen to each word, each song and I think YES! That’s what I’m feeling but I didn’t know how to say it or how to explain it to someone else. His music has been good for me to share to help explain how I feel but also to be better.

You should smile more. What’s wrong with you? Why don’t you talk to me?

When you’ve been down that road so many times…you know your words evaporate into air, no ones really hearing you. It’s been hard for me to explain myself because I really want someone to talk to me, not at me. I want someone to care but not dictate my every move. And for F-sakes, sometimes I’m not thinking anything…I’m just being. Please forgive me if a genuine smile doesn’t come easy anymore. I’m a broken person.

The thing I have found as I battle, is we are all a little broken. Some are better at hiding it, others moving pass it and heal it, then theres me. I’m like waves in the ocean. One minute I feel like I’m healed…my brokenness is mended but then the next I’m a raging storm. I can move mountain, destroy buildings, reck my very soul and then theres this very creepy and eerie stillness that comes…I know this stage all to well and this part of me is probably the most dangerous time for me.

I’m distant, silent and still, as if I don’t exist at all. You’re not sure if the storm has moved on and the sun will soon come out or if round two will rear it’s ugly head. This non-movement can go on for weeks, months…my mind is busy convincing me that this is what it’s like without you… I don’t need to be here…. walk through that door… just go and end this pain.

At that point I am basically dead, a lifeless corpus just going through the motions but just hardly. I’m waiting for it to end…hoping God will just jerk the wheel because I’m too scared to do it myself. There’s still apart of me that wants to live and even misses that feeling of joy. I’m sure after awhile of my miserable lethargic disappearance that the “living” people around me start wishing for the storm to return, at least than you’d know I’m alive and fighting for something. I start wishing for it too.

As of now and the last few weeks I’ve been praying and reconnecting spiritual. I never realize how hard it’s be to reconnect to God after being so far away from Him. I’ve always had a very strong faith even in the hardest of times. I can’t put my finger on why things have slipped away….why I have slipped away. I guess it way so gradual that I didn’t see the distant until I was so far away that I couldn’t see Him, feel Him and I didn’t think of my spiritual life at all.

The last thing I want to be is a person who only calls on God in a crisis. I can’t deny I’m in a crisis and I’m calling on Him… a lot. I’m rebuilding that relationship and trying to find my place again. I guess if being in the totally nightmare was Gods way of shaking the shit out of me and wake me up then I’m glad for it. Don’t get me wrong…I’m done with this lesson…I don’t want to learn anything else.

Baby steps it is. I’m slowly gaining my confidence back and trying to take my life back. I know in this process I may have to make some hard calls but I’m willing to do it. No one said this was going to easy and I wasn’t going to be uncomfortable trying to figure this out but it’s a means to an end. I have to aim at something, Arise and go! The wondering and being lost is over. I want to have some control and have peace.

My faith was shaken and maybe even gone…defiantly on pause. That needs to be reignited for sure and number one. The rest will come and I am getting it in order. I am, I promise.

Living arrangements, I’ll be totally truthful… you all know about as much as I do on that. I could be sleeping in my truck…hell I don’t know. But I do have some choices to make. There’s a few other things that need to happen first before that can be talked about.

When the conversation happens I need to stay calm…I need to stop crying.

My marriage…well it’s comes and goes. We both want it to be good and we have love for each other so that something. But the sweet unstoppable friendship we had. That wittiness and closeness that no one could break… It’s not there. I have hope we’ll get that back and that this stress of life has just weighted us down and broke us sadly. As we lighten our burdens and move forward things will get better and we remember the way we were maybe it will be better, stronger. I only hope.

 

Lastly, I want to include one other NF video that really hit me. I don’t want to just walk through this life asleep, numb and waiting for my real death. I want to live and love to my real potential and stop letting anyone hold me back from that.

 

 

xoxo sk

Change The Momentum

I’m just writing to y’all just like the old days ๐Ÿ˜‰

I know that I’ve been kind of throwing up ๐Ÿคฎon y’all lately. My vibe has not been the best. ๐Ÿ’”

I’m so appreciative to have this outlet. Writing has always been a good way for me to get things off my chest and out of my head.๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ”“

Sometimes things are just so confusing that I don’t even know what I’m feeling. Writing has been a great way for me to process issues. Honestly, it can makes things more confusing at times.๐Ÿ˜” Other times it’s a way to release the pain. I need that.

I always enjoy hearing back from y’all! I want to know what you ๐Ÿค” think! The encouragement and perspective has really helped me! I don’t feel as alone.

I know not everybody feels that way…not everybody wants me to write about what’s going on in my life or how I feel! Who can blame them! We’re dealing with some ugly stuff and I’m not living this life by myself. I do usually try to be discreet. But sometimes I just can’t.

The fact of the matter is I have a lot of regrets. I want to take them as lesson and do better in the future. That’s really hard when you’re living in the eye of the storm. It truly sucks.

Not on the same page and bad communication, nothing is matching up. It’s a consistent uphill battle.

I can want to do better all day long… want a change! But you can’t plant a seed in crappy soil and expect anything to grow.

You could water it…you could give it sunshine! But if it’s dead soil… there’s no nutrition in it than it doesn’t fucking matter; nothing will come of it. Ever.

I’m not saying not to try. I’m not saying don’t be scrappy and do what you gotta do to get by. No, what I’m just saying is sometimes your plans might change. You might to be to plant somewhere else.

Priorities have to change. It’s not all about what The Company wants! I mean… what is the struggle for? We unhappy ๐Ÿ™ It can’t be all about the money ๐Ÿ’ด There’s more to life than that.

The picture is so much bigger. It’s about something different. Something so much more important. I can’t find it here. No one will ever find it here because it doesn’t exist.

And you can’t force this kind of thing. Make yourself believe this is what God wants for you. Your true destiny….your fate. Maybe that seems silly but there is a difference and you life is changed and your see every differently when your walking God’s path… not your path. We’re lost right now. I can’t see shit from here.

I think that we used to have it. I was tuned in and hearing clearly. I was focused. I would have NEVER allowed myself to live the way I am now. Never. I let him put my spark โšก๏ธout. Once we had a good thing. It was bigger than a house, it was better than fancy cars and no money could ever buy it.

I want that again. But it is not here. This place is absent of that. We are absent of that.

So I don’t care about moving up in a company! I don’t give a shit about lateral moves. All I care about is our souls at this point and mine is fucking sad….mine isn’t the only one that I’m worried about. That’s my only priority. I want to be found.

Greed, money, cars, big houses, fancy clothes and exotic vacations… how could we ever forget about the crazy amount of material bullshit… that’s the God that we serve. Welcome to my new home.

We welcome everyone as long as it’s NOT IN MY BACKYARD…that’s our motto!

Lord, helps us.

So I’m sorry that I’ve been in such a bad place but I’m surrounded by it everyday.

I know that everyone can’t possibly be this way. I’ve met a few nice people here. My coworkers are pretty awesome ๐Ÿ˜Ž I try to focus on the good I found in them. Believe it or not this is me focusing on the good because if I didn’t have at least this…I don’t know what I would do. I’m already bubbling over, my chest feels like I’m having a freaking heart attack every day.

I watched a very shitty women refused to help an elderly lady at the gas pump yesterday and it blew my freaking mind!I wanted to punch her in the throat! Who the hell does she think she is! My mind was blown… I just don’t live in that world. Do you not respect your elders? I wish I would have been closer to help this lady.

I see this kind of disrespect and complete disregard for other human beings every single day. It’s eating at me.

Now I was terrible yesterday too because when I got the chance to finally see this disgusting person, I went off on this chick! She just drove away….you awful miserable cow! I’m still pissed.

Maybe I shouldn’t of said anything, who knows why she decided to be a terrible person. I wasn’t raise that way at all! Honestly, I would have got my ass kicked for acting that way by my parents. You never treat your elders that way!

Always help out if you can, hold the doors and be freaking respectful, have some common sense, it’s not that hard! Treat people like human beings and don’t act like you matter more than someone else because guess what, you don’t!

I’m gonna stop this rambling for now and just apologize for being in such a miserable ๐Ÿ˜ฉ place. I don’t like it here either and I’m sure you guys are tired of reading about it.

I really need to change the momentum and I need to be that change. I’m gonna try to do better.

If you believe in this sort of thing or whatever you believe…I’m just asking for some prayers, whichever way you do that. Lord knows I have a lot working against me here.

Xoxo sk

Donโ€™t let me fall

Don’t let me fall

Don’t let me fall

Reach for me in the dark

Let me know your here

Don’t let me fall

I’m still real close to edge

Steady me when I’m unbalanced

Don’t let me fall

Reassure me I’m not alone in this fight

Remind me who you are

Don’t let me fall

Be my breath when I can’t breathe

Be my quiet when it’s too loud

Don’t let me fall

Be my calming place when I’m lost in the storm

Be my strength when I’m too weak

Don’t let me fall

Save me when I can’t save myself

Protect me when I hurt

Don’t let me fall

Make me believe the things that I lost hope in

Make the hard decision that hurt but are right

I’m waiting on you…

Xoxo sk

In My Shoes

You wouldn’t last a day

In My Shoes…

It’s easy to do my inventory from where you stand.

The view sure looks different from where you are.

How quickly we forget our own dirty little secrets.

You have no clue why I do what I do.

There’s not a chance you’d last a day

In My Shoes. 

Now try for it a month.

Oh, hell…How ’bout a few years?

Battle where I’ve walk even longer than we’ll talk.

I’d be shocked if you made it through the day.

 

How easy it must be to judge me.

You look down on me so smug.

Have you lived this life?

Have you ever done the the things I’ve had to do?

I could run circles around you.

Please, make no mistake.

Even in the weakest, beat down to ground and can’t take another step…

I would still out last you.

You wouldn’t even know where to start

In My Shoes.

So for heaven sake have some class.

Remember your manners and your place.

Because one thing is for sure.

You are not equipped to be

In My Shoes.

What I have been through that made me this strong or

the things that make me feel weak, would kill you.

The wars I have faced would keep you up at night.

If you don’t know then shut up.

The fairy tale you know is just that.

In My Shoes

we deal with Real shit.

 

 

https://fabricthatmademe.com/2019/04/28/do-you-see-me/

Check out Do You See Me if you haven’t yet. It’s was a hard one to write and very meaningful to me.

https://www.pinterest.com/skellylou303/

For more “Meaningful Words To Me” quotes for to my Pinterest page above

 

 

To my fellow writing community that messages me…Thanks for being so supportive. It means so much to me. Ya’ll have no idea. You’re getting me through. ๐ŸคŸ๐Ÿฝ

xoxo sk

 

 

Country Music Love

Simi Valley Round UP

ย Music has a way to help you heal, escape or take you back… It’s a medicine in a way for the soul and it’s sure done it’s part for me in my life.

I love all different types of music. I respect the art, the hard work, the talent and bravery of putting all your heart and soul into something you love so much and sharing it with the world: taking a chance on others opinions of your craft.ย  It’s awesome to me the journey of it all. I feel the same way about novels. So much time and effort goes in to what we get to enjoy…it’s awesome!

 

 

It’s Been Along Time

 

I’m weird with concerts because I want to hear the music and not be touched by other people. I mean, I like people but not in my personal space and not spilling their beer on me or in my purse.

ย The type of crowd is important to me because I’m weird with environments and other peoples energy… I know I’m such a nerd.

The Round Up is awesome because it’s great for just about all ages! This was my kids first “real” concert and they had such an amazing time! The music, the crowd, the venders, the food…it all was good! The weather was perfect! It was 80 degrees and nothing but perfect sunshine!

The Line Up

 

 

 

Friends In A New Place

Grace and I love Runaway June and had fun singing along! Here is their site for more info on them: https://www.runawayjune.com/ ย 

Also did you know that one of Runaway June’s members Grandfather is actually John Wayne? That’s awesome! Talk about real Cowyboy-Country Cred!ย 

Of course the top favorites were, Eli Young Band and Justin Honsinger. These were new Music Bands to my kids and it’s been really awesome seeing my son discover new music. He and my daughter are both learning to play the guitar right now so this whole experience just encouraged them even more!

Eli Young Band is nothing new to me, I have LOVED them for a while! (check out the videos) Crazy Girl and Even If It Breaks Your Heart, Dust, Skin and Bones (Skin and Bones was written for the Lead Singer’s wife because he was “in the dog house” but the song didn’t help) and now Love Aren’t and Saltwater Gospel…so good! Here is the site for these bands: https://eliyoungband.com/#!/ย ย http://JustinHonsinger.com

Those are just a few favorites that have been on repeat now in my truck! Hope you all might enjoy them too!

We were invited by a friend, Jason’s met through work. It’s hard making friends and getting to know people when you move around this much! These people are so nice and sweet for inviting us and they are great with my kids too! I’m really grateful when people take time like this to include us and help us navigate a new place. I hope we can do more with them soon!

Here are just a few pictures of the sunset on the way home. I have to say the California sunset never disappoints. We are blessed with beautiful sunrises and sunsets everyday here,

I hope you enjoyed this blog and don’t forget to HIT that LIKE button and Share!ย ย 

Also check out my other blog post about when we first got to California and the struggling looking for a house. https://fabricthatmademe.com/2018/09/30/home-sweet-temporary-house/

Until next time!

xoxo sk

Dog Backwards Spells God

All Because I Had To Pee…

All because I had to pee so bad my plans had a bit of a delayed and thank God they did!

Because God delayed me this day and made every bathroom near my workout spot closed, I had to get in my truck and drive to Albertsons to use the restroom and of course while I was there my ADD kicked in…

I had to buy a huge bag of avocado, face wash, a toothbrush, more coffee and a large water. I’m so random.

After all that and an empty bladder, I could finally head to the park to workout. Or so I thought….

Meet Dallas & God At Work

So this a photo from Pinterest but does look like my new friend, Dallas!

As I’m driving down the street, I see the most terrified 100 pound, beautiful dog that I’ve ever seen. I thought to myself this dog has to belong to someone, no one would let this poor baby go free on purpose!

I slowed way down and drove slowly next to him. I could see this scared pup was trying to get into the gated neighborhood but couldn’t. Every time a loud, fast car or school bus would fly by, would start to panic and head into street. I just drove slow next to him for a bit which was good because he crossed into the street and I would block other cars from hitting him.

Finally as we approach the intersection, I couldn’t wait anymore and I jumped out of my truck to go to him. “Come here baby”, I would call to him and at first he didn’t seen sure but after a few seconds he made his way over to me and let me pet him. What a sweetie! But he was so scared, trembling actually.

I know it may be hard to imagine this huge 100 pound dog being so frightened but in my experience it usually is the big Dogs that are the gentle, sweet, mellow, big cry babies. It’s the small Dogs who are pure piss and vinegar and want to fight! They pack a big punch in their little bodies!

Back to Dallas…now, I wanted to get him in my truck. I didn’t know what I’d do at the point but I knew he wouldn’t get hit by car there or more lost then he was! But as I tried to move his large body closer to my truck he put on the breaks… um HELL NO… DOGNAPPER! Ok dude, I’m think what to I do… then a loud trucks blow by us to let me know how inconveniencing it is that my truck is parked on the side of the road. ( You showed me…Ass.) This caused Dallas to freaks out and started to jog down towards the intersection!

Crap! Crap! Crap! I was thinking this is bad, he’s going to get hit! This good thing was this big guy knew that he lived in this gated community and he was trying desperately to get back in! The loud cars just would cause hit to panic and lose track of where he was and what he was doing. I think if he wasn’t so scared, he’d made it home.

I found him again trying to get in a side gate. Awe, poor dude!

I again jumped out and he comes to me right away but when I move towards my truck, he basically told me to bug off and he took off.

Damnit! Okay new plan… I’ll stay with him.

He didn’t go far I could see him. I drove up the road more and could see he was now trying to find away through the fence. I again jumped out of my truck and could see he was already on the move. So I just left my door open, keys in the truck and my phone… oops forgot it…I know… what a dumbass!

I walked over to him and then sat on the sidewalk and called over to him. At first he was definitely not going to give me another chance but then the cars were really letting me know how mad they were because my truck doors wide open! This really scared him and he practically jumped into arms. Oh a thank Jesus!

Now slowly…slowly….very slowly we clawed to the driver side of my truck. This took awhile to do, I had to keep talking to Dallas and petting him and letting him know I wasn’t Dognap him! “Please come a little close dude… come on… a little more buddy….”

I stretched a crossed my front seat with one arm while holding tight Dallas collar with the other arm and praying no one would hit us! I reached for my keys and turned my truck off and reached a little farther and got my phone!

Okay! We did it!!! Good boy!!! Then we hurried to sidewalk again and I called the first number on the collar, no answer. I called again, leaving a message telling this person that I had this person Dog. Then I called the second number and did the same thing.

I think it’s important to mention here that I have a different area code then the state that I live in so that’s why they didn’t answer.

I just called and called and called. It felt like 100 times. Dallas and just chilled there on the sidewalk. I grab that large bottle of water I just bought and got him some and it was all gone in a matter of seconds. Our big boy had calmed down soooo much now. I almost had him laying down at one point… then a loud car would go by.

At last!!!! My phone call was answered! I said um, hi… I think I have your Dog. We’re here on the side of the road.

The voice on the other line is panicked “OH MY GOD, IS HE OK!!”

“Yes, He’s good!” …….

Oh sweet Dallas….

After Dallas mom, who I now know as Suzanne, picked up her sweet giant, she called me to explained what had happened. Of course she didn’t need to tell me any of this. I was just so thankful Dallas was with his family now. How often that doesn’t end this way.

Suzanne had so much happening her house and it was about to be power washed. When the generator scared her sweet timid boy which scared him to look for safety by tying to get away from the scary sound… and ended up lost on the other side of the gate.

It’s fine I told her, even after she told me to me I could call her for anything I might need living in this new place. That’s super kind but seriously it’s totally fine, I said over and over. But God makes things work sooo perfectly….

New Hair, DO care!!

Later that night I get a text:

Wow! I really didn’t want to give her the nightmare that is my hair! But she insisted and for free! This is all too much! I didn’t deserve this! I would stop for any and all dogs that I see anywhere. I honestly feel guilty receiving anything for doing something that’s RIGHT.

God’s plans

Y’all know this could not have came at a more needed time in my life.

I’m trying to get my life in order, physically, emotionally, mentally… all around. It’s something I’ve been kinda at war with.

On top of that! I’ve not met too many nice people here at all! This was truly amazing and so kind! Unnecessary but still amazingly generous. Meeting her hair assistant the day I actually got my hair done was one more sweet, genuine person here in California ๐Ÿงก

Plus, I don’t have many friends really at all and although I can’t say we’re “friends” I do know one more person than I knew before if I have a question about this crazy beautiful place than I knew before and for that I am beyond thankful!

She even invited me and my family to her church. How sweet!

I haven’t felt great with all these moves and not being able to see my family. My health has sucked and to be frank… I’ve been lonely, closed off and unheard.

I’ve only had my dogs through all this. Sure I have my kids but most they have ME. I don’t leave them. But through all this I have no one but my dogs and they have been amazing for me. I hate to admit it but There’s have been times I have felt like even God has looked the other way.

So much has happened. They say it isn’t until you have some distance… sometime to look back to see God’s works that you get to see the big big picture, all His planning. You can see why the pain was there and why you had to go through somethings or leave someone or some place. There’s a lesson in the hurt. If you listen and you trust, faith, I guess… if you let it all flow then the plans of God’s Will for your life will be better than what you ever could have pictures or wanted or even thought for yourself in any of your wildest dreams.

I never thought I’d even like California and I’m finding myself calling these mountains “my” mountains and the ocean is “my” ocean. This place is hard to live in but somehow I’m living here. Not surviving… living… exploring and trying new things and enjoy it.

Sadness happens and I get frustrated at times …who doesn’t. My humanness will never stop.

I’m just happy right now and I’m embracing that and doing everything I can to live everyday that I got loving my sweet animals, my family, the relationships in my life and this amazing place I call home!

xoxo sk

Coming up… Back Together

From Minnesota To California

I am currently enjoying some much needed time with my people from Minnesota!

I can’t believe they made it here! However it is one of the worst winters in history in the mid-west so I guess I understand why the California sun is calling!

Currently I am working on taking tons of photos and videos! I can’t wait to put it all together to share it with you all!

So… keep a lookout for my upcoming blog/vlog! Hope you enjoy it!

Xoxo ๐Ÿ’‹ sk