Chapter One: Full Steam Ahead
It’s about to be a new book… Chapter One. Honestly, I’m not even sure what to call this part of the path, but either way, we’re full steam ahead.
The house – our homebase – goes back on the market this Friday. It’s just G and I here most of the time, so it’s pretty much up to us to keep this place tight and right and get it sold… with the help of the best realtor ever! And of course, God. I’ll be saying my prayers.
“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans.”
— Proverbs 16:3
A Home Filled With Love
This place has been an answer to our prayers – truly home sweet home for us. I want it to be a haven for the next family, just as it has been for us. I hope they feel the warmth, the laughter, and the love that filled these walls, so they can create their own memories here too.
Now that we’re back, I have to say, I’m so happy to have my space again. My bed, my whole room really – I can’t tell you how good it feels to have it back. That first night, lying in my own bed with my own pillow, in my own room, surrounded by familiar smells… it was heaven.
My nervous system is finally starting to settle as I get myself back in order. Taking a walk felt so good. Eating my normal food, moving through my normal routines… all good. My mind feels steadier, my body calmer. And not having to wake up at 4 a.m.? So much better.
“The Lord gives strength to His people; the Lord blesses His people with peace.”
— Psalm 29:11
Living in the Unknown
With the holidays coming, I know the best gift would be finally living under one roof again. Still, there’s so much unknown. Will we build? Will we buy? What will the next few months look like? How will this season unfold for us? I truly have no idea, so I have to hand it to God and trust He’ll take care of it.
All the questions, all the uncertainty, the time apart, the money spent, the expectations people have for us – and especially for my husband – it gets exhausting. Will we ever reach a point where we can live somewhat normal again? Have downtime together? Watch a movie, run errands like regular people do? Maybe mow the lawn and go to a BBQ? Go on a date night, play with the dogs in the yard, visit a coffee shop in town, or spend a Sunday after church just doing laundry? I wonder… will those days ever come back around?
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
— Proverbs 3:5–6
The Quiet Battle
Right now, we’re far from that. Family and friends get little glimpses of what life’s like for us, but most have no clue. It’s not awful – life is good – but if I’m honest, deep down, I hate living this way. Still, what choice do I have? It’s what a wife does – she is the helper. I’m doing my best in a hard season, trying to be the bright spot in the darkness… though I have stormy days too.
Some days I want things to move faster, for people to speak plainly instead of leaving things unsaid. I see others making life harder without even realizing it and trust me – I want to lash out sometimes. But I don’t. I find myself asking God, what is wrong with people? Why are they so selfish? Why do they do this? And what I hear Him say back is, love them anyway.
If I’m honest, that annoys me. How bratty of me – being annoyed at God. But I’m like a child, wanting to act in my own way, and He says, no. Do it My way. Love them more. And I’m humbled – and embarrassed – by my own heart.
“Let all that you do be done in love.”
— 1 Corinthians 16:14
The Lesson of Love and Boundaries
Sure, people can be awful. They may be wrong. But it’s not my job to fix them. My job is to love God and clean my room – to tend to what He’s given me. The moment I decided to do that, my heart felt lighter. I stopped commenting on the passive-aggressive fishing, the ones crowding in front of my house, the guilt trips from family. I just remembered – God loves them too. I don’t have to subscribe to what they’re dealing with, but I can still love them.
No one said it was going to be easy, and boundaries are Biblical. Turning the other cheek is hard, but that’s the lesson I’m learning right now. I think I might be running out of cheeks, but what’s helping me is seeing all the love and care God is still showing in this season of life – as rough as it might be.
The bed I lay in, the friendships I have in this season – they’re truly saving graces for me. And being able to walk, breathe, and take care of my physical and mental health… I’m so very thankful for all of it.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.”
— 2 Corinthians 12:9
Woven in the Waiting
This season may be stretching me thin, but it’s also strengthening the threads that hold me together. God keeps reminding me that peace doesn’t come from perfect circumstances but from trusting Him right where I am. I don’t have all the answers, and I don’t know how every piece will fall into place, but I know this – He hasn’t failed us yet.
Maybe the waiting, the unknown, the constant surrender… it’s not punishment but preparation. So, while I wait, I’ll keep praying, keep walking, and keep loving – even when it’s hard. Every part of this journey is weaving something new, something holy, something that’s teaching me to rest in Him.
SK-
🪡Woven in Fabric
If this season feels uncertain or heavy for you too, know you’re not walking it alone. God’s timing is never late, even when our hearts grow restless. Keep trusting, keep showing up, and keep finding grace in the small, steady things.
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