And the hits keep coming

Ever feel like you just can’t do anything right at all no matter what you do? Or no matter how hard you try to keep happy or uplifted and in good spirits, they’re still mad, disappointed, or upset at you somehow? That is me currently… totally and utterly unable to please a single damn person. It’s pointless.

How about you? Have you ever gone out of your way for someone and they just keep making things impossible and uncomfortable no matter what you say or do to appease them? They play victim very well. Or maybe trying to do something to relax your own nerves but whatever you do somehow get mess up, jacked up and turns to to shit? It’s like the unverise is making you more stressed but not letting you destress your stress.

This is all is me…. am I under attack right now? Is my family under attack and the enemy wants to throw us off course? I wonder if I was under attack by the rush, and way I was immesed in my work then pulled in so many direction, this kept me from being with my kids, from being the wife and homemaker I needed to be. I was having a hard time managing my time, my spirt, my emotions and health due what my job was tearing me apart and distracting me. The next thing I knew my daughter was in peril, my family was unorganized and scattered. It almost felt like all this mess came on out of nowhere but it wasn’t out of nowhere.

The enemy is very tricky and incredibly patient. He’ll make us thinks and feel things that aren’t real. He’ll confuse us and mess with our minds. He’ll make us think that we belong and then work our last nerves and get us all riled up to fight can do things that we’d never normally do. This is why we can trust how we FEEL because our feeling will always deceive us. our feelings our used against us all the time.

This week especially, I have felt very attacked spiritually, and not just me but my family. I think I am being attacked because I see where I belong and what I need to do. I see it so clearly that I am like a speeding bullet of confidence that I know where I belong. I know my place even if I don’t have words or the strength to say them out loud. I am working on things and feel very confident in the future even if I am annoyed at times about how I have to go about it. I still know God has set me off on this path and made this life for me. I know this because he guides me.

Taking God’s path for my life is a domino effect on my children’s lives, my husband’s life, and the other lives that I touch. The enemy does NOT want that. I am not saying I am so powerful but I do have an effort and all like a small spark that can make a massive flame.

So right now I am going to try hard not to let it get me down that I have some overly sensitive people, who are cups half-empty types in my life… that’s now on me to carry their baggage around with me. I am going to be better and work harder on not caring about what others’ opinions are about me or what it is that I do with my life or that of my family’s life for that matter. If you don’t like it… move on or just leave, chances are you weren’t invited anyway.

I am also going to start posting this on sticky notes everywhere if I have to just to remind myself… everyone will be mad at me for something so it’s very important to just do whatever it si I need to do and let the people talk. I don’t need to carry their feeling around for them. Chances are they would be upset no matter what choice I made some people just like to be upset.

Now being able to rest and relax is important and tonight it seemed like my house was extra annoyed and cranky. It’s been on the edge in here for the last couple of days but today for some reason the tension was thick. There was no reason for it. We had a great weekend! We drove down river road and everyone got to sleep in! We saw our friends and went to the pool, and had a nice dinner at a nice new Italian restaurant. It was great… so why is everyone so uptight around here?

I think it’s a spiritual attack on me and my family. the last straw for me was both the kids had a flare as I called… one kids trying to cause a problem by stealing my new slippers right off my feet and would not give them back to me… she then put them on her “stinky” feet and walk outside. I took a deep breath because she was really wanted to me to fight with her… give her some attention. She also had told me 7 hours earlier she had NO laundry to do so I was more than a little annoyed to see my husband trying to get her to do her laundry and get it out of the way as he is packing to leave town. Super annoying!

Then my son was informed that he would not be getting his allowance since he didn’t do his chores this week. He seemed a little shocked about that. He got an attitude and started glaring at everyone and then made himself busy and he made sure to slam every door he used just to make sure we knew he was upset… fun times.

So I deciced to let my take shower only to find out we have NO hot water… great. So now I am writing you all. I thought about watching a show or just walking but I knew I needed to do somethign decompress. So I choose to write and pray.

I feel better now… So thanks, guy. I think I’ll check on that hot water now.

6 thoughts on “And the hits keep coming

  1. We have something in common with the no hot water issue.

    But when I was reading your post, it sounded like metaphorically you were in hot water. Some of your expressions really touched on something similar that has happened in my life since I started my new job. Every single day of work, I have arrived between 30-60 minutes early….and I leave 30-60 minutes late, and I even found that I was spending hours at homme in order to finish the work assigned to me. My supervisor has this weird way of saying to me to finish off everything assigned to me for the day…only he and others keep on assigning more and more throughout the day, so it makes it look as if I am not accomplishing much – whereas I am constantly working – apart from the occasional bathroom break. I have no time to have a chat with anyone. I never kook at my personal phone. I see others on their phones looking at their social media. None of my efforts seem to have been appreciated as I am not given any positive feedback.

    Plus the culture, oh my it is suffocating at times. There have been so many occasions when I have realized that some of the values I hold fast to and have been my anchor throughout my life don’t seem to be valid to some of my colleagues. The things I refuse to do – deceiving a supplier etc they think are part of the job. There are so many things where I think they think I am either a old fuddy duddy or extreme. I have heard them say things that make me feel bewildered and uncomfortable.

    But I have to shake it off by enjoying the association with my family and close friends who do hold the same values I do. With them it is like breathing in pure clean air, and preparing myself to spend time in an office where there is a murky fog.

    But you know something….I have been here before. I was in my first job for ten years and saw exactly the same challenges – working for people who were competitive, dishonest, used foul language…and generally made work very challenging. There were some tense moments when I stuck to what was right and someone did not like it and made me feel like I was thick. But the wisdom of living by scriptural values and clinging to what is good was made manifest again and again. Things changed. I saw three of my managers dismissed for their dishonesty. I saw colleagues dismissed for things like watching pornography on their work computers, harassment, negligence and dishonesty. But sticking to what I knew was right, I know that people came to respect and like me more and more.

    But most of all, even during the toughest, murkiest times at work, I knew that feeling of my Creator whispering into my ear “Well done, I am pleased with you.” Whose view counted most?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your comment! I guess in a way my “hot water” talk was both literal and figurative… but it started out just wanting a simple hot shower. A hot shower to relax, allowing myself a moment to myself. What I didn’t write about was my allergies and plugged sinuses and ears… I just wanted a hot shower to break up my stuffed head and breathe again. But also the work pressure and trying to balance it all does feel like hot water. I
      On the fuddy-duddy thing… I say that just you being wiser, grow up, smart, bright… I sometimes feel like I am the same but I also believe we are in a weird time right now. There aren’t as many people anymore who think and use their own minds to think through things and not just go with the crew or with the tend. It makes people look a thinkers like the extreme ones I guess. But it’s not odd to use your brain. lol
      As I get older I see everything differently… I think that’s supposed to happen.
      I hope your work mellows out and you do find purpose and enjoyment there. Otherwise, I know the drain it causes on a person day in and day out.
      As for whose view counted more… the view that matters more is my kids’ view… than my view and my husband after that… I don’t mean to make him last. He really isn’t last… lol I Ultimately God is the only one I really care about when it comes to opinions.
      Stay safe and thanks for reading and encouraging! ❣️

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