Ever feel like you just can’t do anything right at all no matter what you do? Or no matter how hard you try to keep happy or uplifted and in good spirits, they’re still mad, disappointed, or upset at you somehow? That is me currently… totally and utterly unable to please a single damn person. It’s pointless.
How about you? Have you ever gone out of your way for someone and they just keep making things impossible and uncomfortable no matter what you say or do to appease them? They play victim very well. Or maybe trying to do something to relax your own nerves but whatever you do somehow get mess up, jacked up and turns to to shit? It’s like the unverise is making you more stressed but not letting you destress your stress.
This is all is me…. am I under attack right now? Is my family under attack and the enemy wants to throw us off course? I wonder if I was under attack by the rush, and way I was immesed in my work then pulled in so many direction, this kept me from being with my kids, from being the wife and homemaker I needed to be. I was having a hard time managing my time, my spirt, my emotions and health due what my job was tearing me apart and distracting me. The next thing I knew my daughter was in peril, my family was unorganized and scattered. It almost felt like all this mess came on out of nowhere but it wasn’t out of nowhere.
The enemy is very tricky and incredibly patient. He’ll make us thinks and feel things that aren’t real. He’ll confuse us and mess with our minds. He’ll make us think that we belong and then work our last nerves and get us all riled up to fight can do things that we’d never normally do. This is why we can trust how we FEEL because our feeling will always deceive us. our feelings our used against us all the time.
This week especially, I have felt very attacked spiritually, and not just me but my family. I think I am being attacked because I see where I belong and what I need to do. I see it so clearly that I am like a speeding bullet of confidence that I know where I belong. I know my place even if I don’t have words or the strength to say them out loud. I am working on things and feel very confident in the future even if I am annoyed at times about how I have to go about it. I still know God has set me off on this path and made this life for me. I know this because he guides me.
Taking God’s path for my life is a domino effect on my children’s lives, my husband’s life, and the other lives that I touch. The enemy does NOT want that. I am not saying I am so powerful but I do have an effort and all like a small spark that can make a massive flame.
So right now I am going to try hard not to let it get me down that I have some overly sensitive people, who are cups half-empty types in my life… that’s now on me to carry their baggage around with me. I am going to be better and work harder on not caring about what others’ opinions are about me or what it is that I do with my life or that of my family’s life for that matter. If you don’t like it… move on or just leave, chances are you weren’t invited anyway.
I am also going to start posting this on sticky notes everywhere if I have to just to remind myself… everyone will be mad at me for something so it’s very important to just do whatever it si I need to do and let the people talk. I don’t need to carry their feeling around for them. Chances are they would be upset no matter what choice I made some people just like to be upset.
Now being able to rest and relax is important and tonight it seemed like my house was extra annoyed and cranky. It’s been on the edge in here for the last couple of days but today for some reason the tension was thick. There was no reason for it. We had a great weekend! We drove down river road and everyone got to sleep in! We saw our friends and went to the pool, and had a nice dinner at a nice new Italian restaurant. It was great… so why is everyone so uptight around here?
I think it’s a spiritual attack on me and my family. the last straw for me was both the kids had a flare as I called… one kids trying to cause a problem by stealing my new slippers right off my feet and would not give them back to me… she then put them on her “stinky” feet and walk outside. I took a deep breath because she was really wanted to me to fight with her… give her some attention. She also had told me 7 hours earlier she had NO laundry to do so I was more than a little annoyed to see my husband trying to get her to do her laundry and get it out of the way as he is packing to leave town. Super annoying!
Then my son was informed that he would not be getting his allowance since he didn’t do his chores this week. He seemed a little shocked about that. He got an attitude and started glaring at everyone and then made himself busy and he made sure to slam every door he used just to make sure we knew he was upset… fun times.
So I deciced to let my take shower only to find out we have NO hot water… great. So now I am writing you all. I thought about watching a show or just walking but I knew I needed to do somethign decompress. So I choose to write and pray.
I feel better now… So thanks, guy. I think I’ll check on that hot water now.