I’m walking through my valley right now, trying to understand where I stand along this path. At the same time, I’m learning to let go and accept whatever will be. It’s such a strange place to be. I’m caught between movement and stillness, surrender and action. I know I have to rise and go so that God can direct me, yet I also feel called to rest and wait. So here I am, humbled and praising His name through this valley, trusting Him along the way—but still calling His name, crying out, What is going on?
I’m not afraid of what the future holds, because I know God’s plans are good. I trust that whatever He has for me will be amazing, without a doubt -far better than anything I could dream. Still, I often lose track of which way is His, which is mine, and which belongs to everyone else. I’m just trying to help, manage emotions, and keep this ship afloat.
Sometimes it gets heavy and even depressing. I start to feel like there’s no end in sight. But deep down, I know we’re missing something along the way. I just don’t know what it is yet. Maybe it’s something small and obvious. Perhaps, a simple lesson God wants us to see. Maybe it’s one we’ve already learned before but forgot in our pride, greed, or complaining, and now He’s shaking us awake again.
The hardest part is not knowing if this is even my lesson. Maybe it’s my husband’s. Maybe this is his path to navigate, and I’m here with him in the whirlwind while he figures it out. I don’t know.
As a wife, I am, of course, the support and helper to my husband. His crushed spirit crushes mine, and I want so much to lift him up -to bring light into the darkness that’s settled over him during times like this. I’m doing what I can, reassuring my love for him every day: praying over him, reaching out with texts and calls, and reminding him he’s not alone. But truthfully, I don’t think God intended for us to live like this. He just didn’t.
We’ve been together, tightly bound, since the beginning. Ever since the day we met we have stuck together like glue. And somehow, whenever we’re apart, something in us struggles. There are always issues, always challenges that seem to pull at the seams of what we’ve built.
Maybe that’s the lesson.
But one thing I know for sure is that every time I think I’m at the end, that it’s all lost, God comes through. I can always count on that. Jesus is here in the waiting, and all this time I’m spending getting to know Him better, it’s not a waste.
Not even a little.
9 Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!
-Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
28 "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
-Romans 8:28
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