Out Of My Hands

One of the many parts... exploring my mental health and my faith.

Just Say It…

Just Say It Once long ago the urge was consistent and real. Saying "I love you", we started to feel. A kind and caring, protection was born. Under this umbrella I'd always be warm. Passion grew and was so intense. We both agreed it's something we'd never before sensed.  Now tired and annoyed. Not …

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Open Letter| Dear Husband

Dear Jason, I knew California was pure poison ☠️ to us. After about the first 45 days I felt the shift between us. Things were changing, everyday got a little wrose. At first, I chalked it up to the huge change we had just went through in a short period of time. Before we basically …

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Anxiety|Bricks In My (His) Chest

Anxiety|Bricks In My (His) Chest   Bricks In My (His) Chest As I have mentions in past post, my family and I are soon going to be South New Jersey residents. I've always wanted to moved to the east coast for many reasons, so this was excellent news to my family! However, we had less …

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The Bags I carry

      2 years In the last 2 years I've experienced somethings that have really changed my laugh and broken my smile...literally! Thank you Bell's Palsy!  The amount of change, worry, fear, loneliness and control over every decision made over my life has really crippled me. I hate the person I have become. Never …

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Coming up… Back Together

From Minnesota To California I am currently enjoying some much needed time with my people from Minnesota! I can't believe they made it here! However it is one of the worst winters in history in the mid-west so I guess I understand why the California sun is calling! Currently I am working on taking tons …

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Table for one

I'm sitting here at Denny's by myself and I'm good with! It's different, feeling alone and actually being alone. Being alone on Purpose is interesting. I'm taking everything in around. I wondering if I seem weird or sad to others, if they even notice me at all? I see a group of old retired men. …

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Lost Not Yet Found

Lost Not Found I don’t know. I feel like I am aching for something that doesn't exist. I am missing some apart of myself. I miss a place that I have never been but yet, I know this place well. It’s my comfort and security. It’s familiar to me somehow. I feel safe there, complete. …

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Recovering

Finding my center I know all the self-care tricks...let's be real about this... I've been at this mental health game for awhile now. You know, picking myself back up after a emotion slip up. I know all the different mindful tricks in the book by now and I agree that most work. I also know …

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Empath & Our Language Power

An Unwell Mind... Unproductive, bitter, grumpy, lethargic, irritable, frustrated, disappointed, hopeless, heartbroken, paranoid, uncertain, apprehensive, concerned, discouraged, disconnected, aggravated, abandoned, utterly sad, emotionless, rejected, cranky... these are just a few of the words to describes my relentless mind/emotions in the last week. I did NOT like myself!   It's hopeless...Everyday you wake up, pour yourself …

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