Slow, Painful… but Beautiful
It’s coming together—but wow, what a slow and sometimes painful process. I knew it would be, but man oh man… it’s hard. I have to stay laser-focused on the good stuff, which is why today, my heart is overflowing with gratitude.
Because today, we have something worth celebrating…
G is officially 15 years old! I can hardly believe it. Permit time is here, high school has begun, and she’s starting her Associate’s Medical Degree program this year! And let’s not forget—what she proudly calls her “glow up”—that we’ve all noticed. She’s no longer a little girl, but a young woman with brains and beauty, the full package.
In just one more year, she’ll be driving without me, and in four short years… off to college. How did we get here so fast? Where does the time go?
Just Us
But still… this year feels different.
It’s just us.
We’re used to that—just G and me—but this time it hits a little harder. I put up her decorations, covered her door in birthday cheer like we always do… but no one else was here to celebrate her. And I know, deep down, that was sad for her.
Tonight, when we go out for sushi, it will just be my face across the table from hers. I know she was probably hoping for more. And it makes my heart ache a little.
Where are her friends right now? The rest of her family who love to call and gossip with her all the time? Nowhere to be seen.
It’s just me. Of course it’s me—there’s no place I’d rather be—but still… I hate it for her. She’s a social butterfly, and she got stuck with me—an introvert hermit, perfectly content to read and write in my den for the rest of my life.
I can only imagine how she looks at me sometimes—cringing at my complete lack of desire to “people” and thinking, Wow… my mom is so lame.
And she’s right. I am lame.
But I love being this lame—introvert-hermit, homebody-champion lame.
What she doesn’t know yet is that one day, she’ll be just as lame as me—and proud of it!
Out of the Loop
Out of the loop.
Catching things before they happen—or missing them entirely because I’m too far removed. Yes, that is me. And I am fine with it. I love it and want it this way. But she is not like that. She is in the know!
I enjoy my solitude. Don’t get me wrong, I still have friends… I just vet them first. The application process is strict, selective, and by invitation only.
But still—G is young, and it’s her birthday.
So today, I’ll celebrate her to the fullest of my ability. I hope she knows she is such a gift. Even her very social side!
Happy Birthday, G!
Looking Forward
And on to other exciting news—T is home! The time was not exactly the way we planned, but we’re throwing all of that to the wind and just grateful he’ll be home.
It’ll be nice to have him back. Then he will off again! I know he’ll be safer than he was, and he can start working on a better version of himself. I’m excited about the future—for him, and for all of us.
But as I said at the start… the process is slow. It’s hard, and sometimes painful. People don’t understand it, and truthfully, neither do I. But I’m learning to appreciate this moment we’re in.
Sometimes all I can do is hold on, pray through it, and remind myself—I don’t have to understand. I just have to have faith. And every single time, God proves that we are better off in the end.
One Step Back, Two Steps Forward
My son is home… finally. ♥ It was hard to have him away, and things got very eye-opening for him. But that’s in the past now, and thank God, he’s back. The future is in front of him, wide open, waiting. If he wants the best—it’s at his fingertips. He just has to put in the work.
We missed his 20th birthday while he was in Tennessee, but next weekend we’ll finally celebrate. Both his birthday and G’s 15th—together, as it should be. A joint celebration after so much separation, after so much hard.
We’ll be heading to the long-anticipated Treaty Oak Revival concert. A longer weekend, moving him into town with his dad, and soaking up every moment.
The future is bright—even with all the changes, the uncertainty, the unknown. It is still good. I believe that. I trust God’s promise. And now T will be with his dad—and I know that man. He’s steady, loyal, and strong. Exactly what’s needed right now.
Conclusion
So here we are, standing in the middle of birthdays, homecomings, and new beginnings. It hasn’t been easy—none of this has been—but beauty always breaks through the cracks of the hard places.
God’s hand is all over this season. I feel it. And though the process is slow and painful at times, it is also purposeful. He is shaping, restoring, and preparing us.
The story isn’t finished yet. In fact, I think the best chapters are still ahead.
Sk-
If you’ve ever found yourself in the middle of hard-but-beautiful seasons, I hope this post reminds you—you’re not alone. God is working, even when the process feels slow.
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