The Heart Check List

Psalm 139:23-24 (NIV)
"Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting."

The checklist has been made, remade, and then remade again. I have a feeling this might be my reality for a while—maybe forever. Trying to keep life in some kind of order while navigating the outside world, yet still allowing God to direct my steps, is tricky. I know in my heart this has to be His plan if I have any chance at all. He is a God of order, so having a plan isn’t wrong—but making sure it’s His plan, with His direction, is everything. I don’t want to get tangled in the mess, the drama, the loneliness, or the outside noise and mistake another voice for His—no matter what others might push or say along the way. Because, Lord knows, the attacks and noise can be loud and cruel… but He made me strong, too. And some might say that kind of strength can look a little “mean.”

Making my list and checking it twice—though Santa and I have very different priorities. First thing on that list? A good old-fashioned heart check. How is my heart? Through all the tugs and pulls, the whispers and shouts, the sideways comments and the flat-out insults—am I still true to who God made me to be? Do I pause and realign myself with Jesus when I drift? I’m not perfect—messing up, falling down, and starting over more times than I can count—but in this life, with all its noise, I have to keep asking: How is my heart?

Living between two homes takes more than logistics—it takes a heart anchored in Jesus. Here’s how I keep my priorities straight, my spirit aligned, and my life moving with grace.

From there, the rest of the checklist comes to life—not as a flex, but as the framework that keeps me moving when life is split between two homes in two different places:

Prayer time & intentions – Guarding my heart and keeping my focus on Him.
Health – Taking care of my body and mind so I can show up for my family.
Family well-being – Keeping the people I love grounded and connected, even across miles.
House & finances – Managing and maintaining two households with wisdom, not waste.
Plans & celebrations – With two birthdays coming up (making up another), finding joy in planning rather than letting it become a stress spiral.

My way might not be for everyone, and that’s perfectly fine. My choices—some wise, others questionable at best—are what brought me to this point. And I know there are folks out there who’ve made far worse choices, yet still glance my way and think, “She’s a brat… spoiled… maybe even the B-word.” This is a family show, so we’ll keep it clean. Part of me wants to stand up and fight that label, but the deeper, calmer part of me says, “Nope. Let them believe it.” I see it. God sees it. And He’s a far better defender than I’ll ever be.

Being a strong woman often gets you called a few names—unfortunately, that’s just part of the deal. But I don’t bat an eye anymore. God knows my heart. And yes, I am spoiled—blessed beyond measure—and grateful every single day. But I didn’t get here without a mountain of hard work, and it’s still not all smooth sailing. What I do have is a man who loves me, a God who cares for me, and a healthy sense of self-respect. Integrity, love, kindness, self-control, and faith—those are the real treasures on my list. And that heart check? It’s what keeps me living those values, not just speaking them. It’s what helps me hold on to what belongs in my life and let go of what doesn’t. And sometimes, that pruning process doesn’t look gentle. Sometimes it looks—well—mean.

Lifelines, Not Luxury

So, sure—call me mean, spoiled, or whatever colorful word you want. Maybe, in your story, you really believe it. The truth is, managing two homes in two different places isn’t a one-woman show—it takes help. Realtors, house cleaners, lawn care, travel planning… these aren’t status symbols, they’re lifelines. They keep both households functioning so I can focus on what matters: praying with my friends, having meaningful conversations, showing up for my family, and making the most of the time we have together. It’s the best we all can do to stay sane.

It’s not about keeping up appearances—it’s about keeping things moving, with as much grace as possible. And that grace comes from Jesus. With Him, I can do anything—even the hard things. So y’all keep judging and watching the show… we have things to do! ✌🏼

Sk-