Still in the Mud with Jesus | My Sober Journey: Social Media, Division, and Learning to Wait
Still in the Mud with Jesus
Hello there, everyone.
It’s now been around that 40-day mark in my no-social-media journey, and as of writing this, I am 47 days sober. I never meant to stay away from social media this long, but I’m not sure when (or if) I want to come back either.
As I shared briefly in an earlier post about my break from social media, I just wasn’t feeling spiritually fed or really fed in any other way, when I was on any of the platforms I used. Seeing so many people tear each other apart when they basically stand on the same side was wild to me. You both love Jesus… why are you belittling each other or going out of your way to discredit one another? The same goes for people who fight for America. True America-first people… why do people hate where they live or one another so badly? Have we lost love for our own communities?
But it went further than that. It was when people started worshiping a person rather than remembering what we were called to do: love. I just couldn’t keep seeing death all over my screen, along with excuses and even cheering it on. It was breaking my heart, all while our own Christian brothers and sisters were at each other’s throats. What was happening to us?
It reminds me very much of a movie most of us probably saw many years ago in the theaters, back when it was still fun to go. Do y’all remember Captain America: Civil War? I thought for the longest time it was an Avengers movie because they’re mostly all in it with him.
Here’s a little reminder:
Captain America: Civil War (2016) is the Marvel movie where the Avengers turn against each other. The team that once fought side by side gets split into two opposing camps-not because they disagree on what’s right or wrong, but because the government steps in. After a mission causes deadly collateral damage, the United Nations proposes the Sokovia Accords, a law that would put the Avengers under official government control.
Tony Stark (Iron Man) agrees to sign, believing the team needs accountability and oversight.
Steve Rogers (Captain America) refuses, fearing the government will strip away their freedom to do what’s right without interference.
Two heroes who share the same values are divided by politics and power. The Avengers don’t just battle villains anymore; they fight each other, torn between loyalty to their friends and obedience to the law.
Does that not sound a lot like Christians right now? People worshiping a person or people and not Jesus Christ. Many people believe in Jesus but don’t actually obey Him. Think about how easy this is for the devil right now. He’s just sitting back, totally chilling, watching us rip each other apart, and it’s on every level. So sad.
I do watch YouTube. That’s where I do a few of my Bible studies, and something I saw hit me the other day like a brick house! Especially in this season I’m in… a very long season of waiting and unknowing. This podcaster said, “if you don’t feel like you’re where you thought you’d be by now or where you want to be going, then praise God for it, because the Lord is saving you from something, preparing you for something, or has something better coming and wants you to be ready to hold it.” It’s either a lesson, a protection, or preparation, but either way, it’s all love, grace, and mercy that my Father is giving to me. He knows that I need something right now, and I need to just do “that” which He is instructing me to do. And maybe God is actually waiting on me… Just a thought.
So, I praise Him, even in my sorrow. Being thankful in this time of waiting and in this unknowing is NOT easy; it’s scary and uncomfortable, but I still believe I’m going to be better for it. I have days when this delay in any change in my circumstances feels like it’s taking too long, but Jesus’ timing is perfect, and He knows just what He is doing. It’s me that has no clue! Ultimately, this is my heart posture, even when I get overwhelmed and grow tired, Jesus is with me and is guiding me through.
The other thing I also have to know is that not everything is all about me. Although I believe with all my heart that He is working in my life, I also believe He is moving through the lives of the people around and through me, and I have no idea how He might be using my (waiting) season for them… or vice versa. I have to trust His plans for good.
And I’ve been thinking about this mud I’m in with Jesus. It reminds me of John 9, where Jesus met a blind man who had been blind since birth. He spit on the ground, made some mud with His saliva, and put it on the man’s eyes. ‘Go,’ he told him, ‘Wash in the pool of Siloam.’ So, the man went and washed and came home seeing.”
Jesus used mud, something humble, broken, earthly to bring sight and healing. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to see… to truly see for the first time after never seeing before.
Maybe you made out shapes and shadows. Maybe you learned to get by. Maybe you memorized the world through touch and sound and the voices of those who told you about blue skies and birds and fish gliding through water. You learned to live with it. It became who you were. The blind man. The one who couldn’t see.
And then… one day… your life is changed.
Suddenly you see the sky- blue, pink, crisp white puffy clouds floating across the brightness of the sun. Fish in the sea, not just talked about, but seen… the shimmer, the way the scales catch the light, the reflection of the water dancing. Would it matter to you that the mud was dirty? That it was made with spit? No. It would humble you to your knees. You would weep.
And that’s where I am right now. Ready and willing. Humbled by Jesus. Repenting for the way I have believed that things have to be this way. That I have just… lived with it. Accepted it. Endured it.
I am covering myself in the mud of Jesus. Ready to be washed clean. But for now… still in the mud with Him.
But He’s not leaving me blind. He’s giving me sight. He’s healing me. He’s preparing me for something better.
This waiting season isn’t waste. It’s work. It’s love. It’s a wound that’s being bound, and in His love, it’s healing. That’s going to take time and process and discomfort. But in all of this, that’s where the work comes in. And I have remembered I am not alone, and Jesus… He’s giving me back my sight.
To close this out, I want to check in with all of you. How is everyone doing out there? What are your thoughts on the matter of the heart? I don’t want to just blabber on about myself here… what’s your take on social media, Christian life, prayer life… just life in general?
Let’s take care of each other out there! In the meantime, can I pray for you? Let your prayer request in the comments. If you don’t want to put it in the comments for all to see, email me at: fabricthatmademe@gmail.com
When everything fades, only He remains. 🙌🏼
In a world that constantly shifts, there is still One who is steady, faithful, and unchanging, Jesus.
If you’ve been feeling the weight of disappointment or the uncertainty of life’s seasons, this is your reminder: you are not alone, and you were never meant to carry it all by yourself.
Take heart. Rest in Him. 💗
If you need prayer, I’m here. Comment, subscribe, or reach out… Let’s walk this out together.
-Skelly
A mother’s love is a delicate balance between holding on and letting go. In this heartfelt reblog and open letter to my daughter, I share reflections on faith, freedom, growth, and trusting Jesus through every season. Read the full post above. -Sk
I’m sharing a heartfelt on stepping away from social media, learning to wait on Jesus, and finding peace in a season of uncertainty. This post also touches on the way division can creep into our lives, even among believers, and how Jesus meets us in the middle of the mud and brings healing, sight, and hope. Liking, subscribing, and sharing helps spread positivity and lets me know what you need from me. Invite Jesus in, stay encouraged, and if you need prayer, send me a DM or leave your request in the comments.
-Skelly
If you were today, I don’t know how you feel about everything happening… so maybe it’s better, you wait for me… Until we meet again around that bonfire under the stars. I miss you. Sk
The journey we walk being a Christian isn’t an easy one, but it is a worthy one. To save your life you must give it up. Less of you and more of HIM.
Matthew 16: 24-26
Passionate reader, lifelong writer, and quiet observer of the world, I find meaning in the still places where faith and everyday life meet. My words are shaped by a love for story, a reverence for history, and a heart drawn to reflection. In the rhythm of changing seasons, the comfort of home, and the steady, unfailing grace of God, I discover the threads that weave purpose into each day.
Fueled by coffee and quiet curiosity, I write to remember, to grow, and to bear witness to God’s goodness, both in the valleys and on the mountaintops. Each piece is an offering, a reminder that even in the ordinary, His presence is near, guiding, sustaining, and renewing.
“The Lord will guide you always; He will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.”
Isaiah 58:11
– Skelly
Thank you for sharing. This hit home. I have a complicated relationship with social media. I live alone, I don’t see most of my closest friends on a regular basis as I go about my daily life, and social media is the most convenient way for someone like me to stay in touch with people. However, social media has changed a lot in the last couple decades. More ads. More posts from people I don’t know showing up in my feed. And more of my friends who share little to none of the updates in their personal lives that I care about, and way too much angry political stuff I don’t agree with. I might just have to start letting people go if all they do is post political stuff, particularly if these are people who live out of the area and I have no chance of running into around town or in my current social circles. And I have to be disciplined and not stare at the screen and scroll mindlessly about things I have no good reason to care about or things that are going to bring me down or take my mind to unhealthy places.
As for people being divided, no, a lot of people do not like where they live. Most people I know talk about the place where they live in negative terms, particularly if people grew up in that place and haven’t been able to move out. And, this probably varies by state, region, and by one’s kind of schooling experience, but they don’t teach patriotism in school anymore. They used to, but now, at least where I live, we’re too afraid of offending other people’s cultures, so the people who come to this country remain unassimilated and uninterested in assimilating.
I’ve been in a waiting season for a long, long time. The kind of waiting has changed over the years, but I’ve generally been struggling for most of the 2020s. In November, I went back to the church I went to for most of my 30s. I had reasons for leaving a decade ago, but whatever I was looking for back then, I didn’t find at any of the churches I’d been going to in the last decade. This church had come up in a few conversations at the time, and the main reason I decided to go home instead of try something else was similar to the reason I first set foot in that church when I moved here in 2006: if I’m all alone and looking for something that’s hard to find, I might be more likely to find it in a big church than a small church. In some ways, it really has felt like coming home, as I’ve reconnected with people who were a big part of my 30s whom I had gradually grown apart from. (To connect this to what I said two paragraphs above about social media and people I don’t see anymore: one day a couple months after I went back, I saw an elementary school aged boy running around the lobby after service, I kept looking at him thinking, why do I know this kid? Why does he look so familiar? It hit me when I was in the parking lot that I didn’t know this kid, but I recognized him from Facebook and Instagram because I knew his mom when I went there the first time, before she had kids, and we still follow each other.) But it hasn’t been perfect. I’ve been told by the church leadership that there is no interest in starting a singles group right now. There was one when I left in 2015, but like most church singles groups, I felt like I had nothing in common with them, since I was much younger and I was the only one who had never been married or had kids, and the kind of things I did in my spare time were completely different from the others there, to the point that I felt like I wasn’t taken seriously. I did find out that another church in my area is starting a singles group, and I went to their first event, and it wasn’t bad, but it felt the same way as what I described above (except that chronologically I’m not so young anymore).
And with people not liking each other and fighting each other, that makes me think a lot of something I’ve said often: society is so polarized that I don’t fit in well in either camp, so I just end up feeling attacked from both sides. People who are into the nerdy games that I like tend to disagree with my Christian views on gender and sexuality, as well as my right-leaning politics. My friends from the bar where I go for karaoke (and don’t drink anything stronger than a Roy Rogers) drink and smoke and vape and cuss. My Christian friends and those who share my politics either disapprove of my hanging out in a bar, or they’re so busy with their own families that they don’t understand what my life is like and don’t take me seriously, or both.
So, yeah, pray that I’ll find some peace in the middle of all that and not let the world bring me down. And, also, completely unrelated but on my mind because I messaged this person last night, pray for a friend of mine who has had a lot of bad relationship experiences lately. Thank you. I will pray for you too. And I see you just commented on DLTDGB as I was writing this, so I’ll go answer that now too.
I do understand not loving where you live and having patriotism. I also understand worrying about offending people to a certain point. I know there are people who think that way – I guess I’m just not one of them.
It seems like everyone just wants more and has confused wants with needs. There is too much lust and pride, and not enough humility, generosity, and servant-hearted people. Where have those people gone?
I can completely disagree with my government while still loving my country and caring about people – even when those people confuse me and, frankly, drive me a little crazy with their actions. The answer is always going to be Jesus. I pray for people and ask Him to intervene in the most powerful way only He can.
I get angry at what I see, and I believe I have a right to feel that way. But there are different kinds of anger. I don’t let my anger turn into hatred, ugliness, or violence. Righteous anger is different from sinful anger. Hatred is ugly.
That is part of the reason I left social media. It wasn’t because I was becoming violent, of course, but because I didn’t like what it was doing to my heart. I found myself feeling bitterness toward people, and I didn’t want that.
There are things we should be angry about. We should be angry when children are hurt, when innocent people suffer, and when injustice is allowed to continue. That kind of anger can motivate us to get involved and make a meaningful difference.
When we see our homes and communities being trampled on, neglected, or changed beyond recognition, it can bring both anger and heartache – for our neighbors, local businesses, store owners, and the people who call that community home. You have every right to feel hurt by that. Those feelings can motivate us to take action and stand up for what matters.
Look at Spencer Pratt. Whether he wins or not, his frustration motivated him to get involved, and it has brought attention to many issues. For that alone, he deserves some credit. He loves his family, his home, and his community, and he believes what is happening is wrong. Sometimes it really is that simple.
If fighting for your family, your community, and what you believe is right offends someone, then so be it.
But that’s just my take… what do I know? 🙄
Lord, I pray for peace and comfort for my friend. Only You truly know his heart, his struggles, and what he needs in this season of life. Quiet the noise of the world around him. Ease the burdens and demands weighing on him and fill the empty places in his heart with Your presence.
Remind him that he is never alone. Even in moments when he feels isolated, unseen, or misunderstood, let him feel the nearness of Your love. Strengthen his faith when the road is difficult and give him confidence in the path You have set before him.
Lord, many of us who are set apart can feel lonely at times – in our friendships, our churches, our workplaces, and even within our own families. Yet You have called us for a purpose. Help us find comfort in the unique way You created us. Let us see our differences as gifts and our challenges as opportunities to draw closer to You.
When loneliness creeps in, be our companion. When discouragement comes, be our strength. When we cannot see where You are leading us, help us trust that You are guiding every step.
Fill my friend with Your peace, surround him with Your love, and remind him daily that he is deeply known, deeply loved, and never forgotten by You.
“It seems like everyone just wants more and has confused wants with needs. There is too much lust and pride, and not enough humility, generosity, and servant-hearted people. Where have those people gone?” I’m probably generalizing here, but they are passing away, being replaced with a younger generation that was raised each with their own screens to replace the common culture, and little family time because of broken homes and both parents working.
Is it righteous to be angry about a highly suspicious election process that keeps finding enough ballots to keep Spencer Pratt out of the general election? Just saying… I find it hard to find an outlet for that kind of frustration myself. Both sides of the political spectrum are so full of bad people these days that I don’t even want to defend many of the people I vote for, since usually I’m just voting for the least detestable candidate. And I don’t feel qualified to get involved myself, because I would get absolutely torn apart in today’s media climate, not to mention I’m not exactly bursting at the seams with spare time.
But you’re right… everything all comes down to Jesus, and finding that balance between loving our neighbors while standing firm on the truth.
Greg, I know it’s easy for you to be disappointed, especially in the area you’re in and everything around you. That’s why I limit myself. I only sub now. The superintendents and administration don’t have the best intentions for children and families, it’s all about power and money. I keep my circle small, I vet my group, I stay off social media, and I pray through it all.
It’s the same with politics. If you don’t use your discernment, you will lose yourself, even in your own church home. But I believe the devil has overplayed his hand. We all see it. The greed is so overkill now you can’t unsee it. The fakeness is so overdone that it’s making people uncomfortable and causing them to crave something they can’t quite name but they’re starting to figure it out. It’s realness. It’s connection. It’s real relationship with each other. We need each other, and we need Jesus.
The enemy wants us to think selfishly and follow our feelings, but I see young people craving Jesus and praising Him with a wild abandon, and they don’t care who sees it. I do believe a whole generation of weirdness did a lot of damage, but I have faith in the young people coming up now. They are stronger than we think. We can’t doubt them.
As much as I agree with you politically and I’ve pretty much stepped away from the voting booth at this point… I have not lost hope in our young people. I see them cry out, and they are stronger than ever. They are not acting like victims, at least not the ones I see. Sure, there are some entitled young people, but I pay no mind to them. I don’t know what they’re dealing with. God is working on them just like He worked on me.
When I lived in California, I was the worst kind of depressed. The beauty of the landscape didn’t match the people, sadly. But no one can outrun God. He will reach you, on this side of life or the next. People don’t have a healthy fear or respect for God anymore.
I read something in a Bible study a few weeks ago that I can’t get out of my head. It was about the comfort of the rod and staff. Think about that; how does someone get comfort from a rod and staff? It sounds more like an “ouch.” But it’s God’s way of keeping us safe and on track, keeping us from getting hit by a bus, even if it takes a little smack now and then.
Would we say God is abusing us, or protecting us? Of course He is the good Father. We can be comforted knowing that even when correction hurts, it humbles us, grounds us, and is for our good. I’ll take my licks. But some people don’t understand that they don’t respect God. And when He is ready to humble them, the rod and staff won’t feel like a small correction. It could be eternity.
Keep the faith. There may be plenty of evil doers around you, but God see us all.
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When everything fades, only He remains. 🙌🏼 In a world that constantly shifts, there is still One who is steady, faithful, and unchanging, Jesus. If you’ve been feeling the weight of disappointment or the uncertainty of life’s seasons, this is your reminder: you are not alone, and you were never meant to carry it all by yourself. Take heart. Rest in Him. 💗 If you need prayer, I’m here. Comment, subscribe, or reach out… Let’s walk this out together. -Skelly
A mother’s love is a delicate balance between holding on and letting go. In this heartfelt reblog and open letter to my daughter, I share reflections on faith, freedom, growth, and trusting Jesus through every season. Read the full post above. -Sk
I’m sharing a heartfelt on stepping away from social media, learning to wait on Jesus, and finding peace in a season of uncertainty. This post also touches on the way division can creep into our lives, even among believers, and how Jesus meets us in the middle of the mud and brings healing, sight, and hope. Liking, subscribing, and sharing helps spread positivity and lets me know what you need from me. Invite Jesus in, stay encouraged, and if you need prayer, send me a DM or leave your request in the comments. -Skelly
If you were today, I don’t know how you feel about everything happening… so maybe it’s better, you wait for me… Until we meet again around that bonfire under the stars. I miss you. Sk
The journey we walk being a Christian isn’t an easy one, but it is a worthy one. To save your life you must give it up. Less of you and more of HIM. Matthew 16: 24-26
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