A Mother’s Evening Prayer | Thanking God for the Chaos, the Love, and the Lessons

Intro:

When I lay my head down at the end of the day, what are things I thank the good Lord. What things run through my mind as I replay the day? The things I bring to God in the night’s sweetness are still and quiet as I lay in the sheets, bringing a close to the busyness of the day.

Skelly-

A Simple Complex, Sweet Pray of Mother

We say so much in the many conversations—the words of love, direction, guidance, and frustration—and I don’t say things I wish I would have. I hold back in many ways; that has been a skill I have improved, but I know there are things I should have said in other ways. All the things I have to repeat over and over through the day. All the compromises and snarky remarks that are made. The day is full of words that fly back and forth, and most of those words are misunderstood and unheard. But at the end of the day, we share, hug, and love each other, and I am thankful for them.

The rush, the schedule, and the needs we all have. We all have a place to be and a schedule to follow. None of us can escape the fact that we have responsibility. It can be stressful and demanding, and the pressure can get heavy on each other. It impacts us at work, school, appointments, tests, bills, and meetings. Then, there are days when things are more complicated. Someone is sick, hurt, or has something extra, and we must add busyness. It gets cluttered and chaotic, and for the day or week, sometimes even a month, it seems like we are ships passing in the night. But even when life is happening at fullspeed I thank Lord for this great life- I have things that are happening and I have energy to do Life. I have people in my life to do life with, and that is such a gift. What a blessing to have the team I have. In good times and in hard times, we always have each other’s back. No matter what it might look like to other siders, we always have each other cover. God truly gave us the best people to live life with. It’s the sweetest gift.

The things that get missed and over-promised. Oh, how this part hurts me the worst. All the stuff I wish I could have done better or changed completely. I do my best in this feeble human form. I am just a girl, a wife, a mom, a daughter, and a sister. I am not perfect, but I do my best. I know that I miss the mark many days. Expectations I overshoot or underperform. I try too hard or am entirely unsure what I did wrong to have my teenage so disappointed in me! Either way, I am exhausted and wish I had done better, differently, given more grace, had more patience, and practiced the pause that I always talk about. I lay in the dark with tears- a silent cry to God and an ache in my heart on those nights. Still, I am thankful I have these babies to cry, love, and pray over. I hate how we treated each other sometimes, but I am grateful for our deep bond- knowing that we will try again tomorrow. I am always thankful for forgiveness, new days, fresh starts, and God’s wisdom. To watch up with fresh eyes and clean hearts.

Moments of belly laughs, learning new things, rare moments together, raw moments together—the time when God freezes time even for just a second for us. It’s those times that take up space in your mind years later. The memories replay in your mind like a movie, spreading a smile across your face, causing a laugh you comes from nowhere. Those moments are the photobooks you hold in my heart forever and can never be taken away. I thank God for those moments. You never really know when these moments happen, but they are some of life’s most precious and beautiful times. These moments I replay from time to time, searching the pages of my mind’s photobook of the sweet moments of past days, thanking God for all He has done and gotten us through. He is so good. I always wonder what goodness He will fill the following pages.

Every night, as my head hits the pillow, I go through my day and talk to God, recalling all that happened—the things I know I should and could have done better. I replay the day, both the sweetness and the things that hurt. I thank him and ask for protection and help in this ever-changing atmosphere. Lord are converse, and I listen as He sends me off to dreamland.

As I wake, I speak to Him again before my feet hit the floor and thank Him for the dreams of guidance. That we may always be the truth, no matter how it looks or hurts. Help us to be the light in dark places and glorify His name wherever we go. He would give us the ability to love well and speak sweetly. That He would continue as He as to protect us, guide us, and arm us mighty angels always. Maybe we know what joy is and spread it to others.

This is the sweetness of my simple, complex life.

SK-