Truth and love

In this family of mine, we have never struggled telling each other the truth. I’ll leave that right there. It stands on its own.

That doesn’t mean we don’t love one another, because we do, furiously. But loving well with grace and being honest at the same time hasn’t always been our strength. Our honesty often comes from a single point of view: “This is how life is,” or “this is just how I feel,” and that’s where it stops. We don’t soften it or consider how it might land on the ones we are speaking to. We tell ourselves that honesty is enough, so it’s okay. That if it hurts, then so be it, because it’s the truth.

The problem is that brutal truth can feel very judgmental when it’s not carried by gentle love…even when it is well intended.

I’ve always said, I’m a hard judge. In many ways, that mindset has kept me alive all these years. I assess situations, I evaluate the people around me and respond accordingly. I believe, biblically, that judgement itself isn’t wrong because Scripture tells us we will be known, recognized and judged by our fruits.

When I talk about our “fruits,” I mean the fruits of the spirit: Love, Peace, Kindness, Joy, Kindness, Goodness, Patience’s, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-Control.

Overview of the Fruits

The fruits of the Spirit are nine attributes that reflect the character of a life led by the Holy Spirit. They aren’t simply good personality traits or moral habits. They are evidence of God’s grace actively working in a believer’s life. The Apostle Paul names them in Galatians 5:22–23.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance (patience), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” -Galatians 5:22–23

• Love: Choosing to act for the good of others, rooted in God’s unconditional love.
• Joy: A steady sense of contentment that exists even when circumstances are hard.
• Peace: An inner calm that also shapes how we relate to others.
• Patience: The ability to endure hardships and extend grace to people who fall short.
• Kindness: A posture of generosity and care towards others.
• Goodness: Reflects a desire to live rightly and do what honors God.
• Faithfulness: A loyalty, consistency, and transitoriness in relationships.
• Gentleness: Strength express with humility yet still with restraint.
• Self-control: To govern our emotions, reactions, and desires instead of being ruled by them.

Judging vs. Casting Judgment

I’ve always believed that we do judge, but we are not meant to cast judgement. I want to explain that as that simply as I can…

Every one of us is broken and fighting some form of sin. My sin is no smaller or greater than anyone else’s. I am simply someone striving to be more like Christ. Every day, knowing I will fall short, I continue to serve and confess, praying, and building my relationship with Jesus day by day. I believe that Jesus is only way! He is the truth, the life and it is only through Him, Jesus Christ that we find Heaven.

“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.’” -John 14:6

It is because of this belief, and of my own weakness and my brokenness, I’ve learned where my strength truly comes from, Christ!

This understanding has changes how I see others and it has taught me so much about myself. So, I don’t judge other in their personal walk or in how that walk is unfolding. I don’t know how God is working in their lives or what He is growing in them, just as others have no way of knowing my journey with Jesus and how He is works in mine.

I only know this: God waste nothing.

So, I won’t cast judgments over someone else’s journey.

Life changing for us. I don’t believe we are alone in that. We all go through it. It feels as though the world can senses an even bigger change on the horizon… as if something long hidden is being uncovered. Evil is being revealed! What has been done in secret, whether good or bad, will not remain concealed.

“There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known.” — Luke 12:2

I believe that very deeply. All of it… the good and the bad will be shown. We are seeing it unfold before our eyes and that is why our fruit matters. That is why walking with Jesus matters! Nothing stays buried forever.

There is both comfort and warning in what is Biblical truth.

When you do good, when you live faithfully even when no one sees. It returns to you and it will be made known in God’s perfect timing.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” — Galatians 6:9

But the same principle applies in the opposite direction. Evil and wrongdoing may seem to prosper for a season, but they too will be brought into the light. When the day comes, it will not be ours to handle but justice will come.

“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.” — Romans 12:19

God sees. God knows. God will take care of what belongs to Him. I trust God handles justice, and exposes what needs to be exposed.

Where Truth Meets Love

So, I repeat… I won’t cast judgment over another’s journey when I fully trust my God to do what only He can do.

To conclude this post, I want to bring it back to where we started. Speaking truth and love. This is where the lesson turns back to truth and love after all…

Truth matters. Truth is not optional because to walk with Jesus is not optional and Jesus is truth. But truth without love is sharp and heavy. It can even become self-righteous.

Jesus is also LOVE and so the two must go together… truth and love. Honestly the phase should be LOVE first than truth because love is the most important thing.

Scripture tells us how we are meant to hold the two together:

“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” — Ephesians 4:15

Speaking the truth in love is love itself.

It is not truth alone, not love that is void of truth but both, together. ❤️

Think about this for a moment…

If God is the One who reveals what is hidden… the One who repays, the One who judges rightly…

Then my role… all our roles is not to crush with honesty with the sake of truth. My role is to reflect Christ and that might mean staying silent. That might be sharing, supporting, listening, but always love and truth together… never alone. Christ never separated truth from love…. so, I can’t either.

He corrected, confronted, and exposed but He did it with compassion, patience and invitation.

So, for our family this has to change, and I think it has to start with me. Some may not understand how it starts but it’s got to start somewhere, right? We will still speak truth but now check our tone. We will check our posture and our face; I will especially do this! Most importantly we will check our fruit. Because if it’s rotten it’s time to clean up for sure.

If what we are saying is true, but it’s not backed with love then something in us needs adjusting. We should be able to feel it inside, a conviction in our chest.

Truth without love hardens hearts and creates distances and pain. Love without truth weaken faith and creates resentments and enables. But truth spoken in love together… Now, that is powerful and it strengthen faith and transforms.

And that is the kind of fruit I want to be known by. 🍓

Woven in the Fabric

This writing …and this journey is rooted in Jesus, it’s not tidy but it’s always held by Him. What I share here is offered honestly, prayerful, and with trust that that He meets us in both seen and unseen, I am so thankful for it.

If something in my writings lingered with you, stirred curiosity, or brought quite reflection, your welcome to carry it forward, to sit with it, pray over it, or pass it gently along.

You’re always welcome to stay connected here through the blog, or find daily reminder threads of reflection, truth and grace on Instagram and Pinterest for as this journey keeps unfolding.

– skelly🍓

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