Can You Afford Me?
Oh, the days we’d wait up too late for that call.
We’d spend the nights saying nothing at all.
Silences on the line, you’d stay with me through the night.
It was easy back then; we didn’t know what we’d have to fight.
Tangled together as we fell asleep at night cured the stress brought by the morning light.
Did you know what you’d pay to light my way?
Was I worth it? Am I more than you can afford to pay?
Never meant to bring you in this deep.
You’ve always known me better, yet you keep my heart.
The price is high to be this way… it’s steep but I feel everything, it’s who I am.
Your heart was light and balanced mine. But I can see the pain over time.
You’re strong in your world and everything you need.
But fragile in mine, and I’ll hurt you if you can’t lead.
It’s not how I want it; I don’t mean for it to be. This world has become too much, and I will turn the key.
Lock it all out, shut the door, ignore.
That’s what happens when you feel everything, the real me vanishing.
Am I an expense you can’t afford anymore?
Wondering where I went and will I be back?
Can you handle when I’m too much or what I lack?
I’m not the girl next door. I’m everyone, everywhere, all the time, and sometimes no one at all.
Someday you won’t answer my call.
Are the highs and lows more than you can handle?
Is this journey overpriced? Is this path just a maze you’ve traveled?
My soul was never easy. It’s always been heavy.
A mysterious place, moving, turning, always working, observing the world.
Sometimes, I feel completely strangled by it.
But you are my hero, love, peacemaker, safe place, and sweet taste.
My medicine, security, and grounded faithfulness bring me back together again.
Please hold my kite strings as long as we live.
You let me fly just high enough. You hold on tight to me.
It’s so much work for you to love a creature, a tortured soul like me.
But how thankful I am you somehow always can see.
Oh, how do you love me? Only the Lord can afford me.
I hope I’ve loved you half as well as you’ve loved me.
You said from the beginning we’re meant to be.
SK
- Until We Meet Again
- Take up your cross and follow me.
- Table-Tossing Grace: My Season of Withdrawal and the Beauty of Eremition
- Filtering the Poison
- Confusion: The Chaos Strategist
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