Between Lost and Found

There are times when tears come easily, and other times when they hide, even when they should be simple to reach. I feel dry. I told her, “I feel lost,” and she said maybe that’s because you are.

My emotions keep showing up at the wrong times. Everything inside feels a little off, a little out of rhythm.

I never expected my life to be tied up in a neat bow. Heaven knows a beat-up U-Haul box has always been plenty for me. But somehow, I still found myself trying to prove something, all while feeling like no one really cared. I kept holding everything that mattered together, protecting it, saving it, stuffing it back into that worn out box. And deep down, I knew that if I ever screamed the reality of it and struck a match, the wind would carry my voice away before it ever reached anyone. My scream would fade into a whisper in a lonely breeze, blowing out the flame before it had a chance. In the end, I would defeat myself.

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
-Psalm 73:26

I’m not chasing misery. What I know isn’t the problem. But sometimes knowing too much keeps me separate. It makes it hard to join in. It has me seeing through people in ways that make them uncomfortable, and maybe that makes them see me a certain way. But once your eyes open, they don’t close again. You can’t unsee what you see. You’re changed for good.

So, she was right. I am lost. Lost in this world in ways that are hard to explain. What am I supposed to do with everything I know? Pretend? I’ve never been good at pretending. I’m terrible at theater. I need real. I need people who don’t live in the perfect, polished, obvious lie.
Control. I’m over it.

But in another way, I am deeply found. I might be lost here on Earth, wandering among people trying to fit themselves into places that never truly fit, but I’m found in the things that matter. Found in what steadies me. Found in the truth that doesn’t blow away.
In the end, it’s these real things… the Light.

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, this is the way; walk in it.”
-Isaiah 30:21

It’s just hard when I’m surrounded by people who don’t see it, they will believe anything to keep their orderly world neat and clean- they are asleep at the wheel. We’re walking the same ground, but we aren’t living in the same world.

And maybe this place, this strange in-between, is exactly where I’m supposed to be. I know I’m meant to be doing more right now. I’m tapping into that, and it’s going to make some people really uncomfortable.

Somewhere between lost and found.

SK-

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Woven in the Fabric

If there’s anything I hope you carry with you from this piece, it’s this: stay close to the real things. The honest things. The things that actually hold you together when life feels stretched thin. Don’t buy into perfection or the performance of who you think you’re supposed to be. People will always have something to say, but Jesus is the one who sees you fully and waits patiently for the moment you turn toward Him.

The world is loud about image and control, but the kingdom of God is quiet and steady. It calls us to something deeper. Something truer. Jesus invites us to die to self so we can finally live free, live whole, live aligned with who He made us to be.

“Then Jesus said to His disciples, if anyone wants to come after Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me.”
-Matthew 16:24

That’s the real work. The slow surrender. The choosing of truth over appearance, light over fear, and Jesus over everything else.

If this spoke to you, if it reminded you of anything buried inside you that still wants to rise, I hope you’ll stay connected. Share this post with someone who needs the reminder that they aren’t alone in the in-between. And subscribe to fabricthatmademe.com so you won’t miss the next piece woven together here.

We’re already walking this road together. Let’s keep going.

-Skelly

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