For the longest time, this one extended weekend that we get out of the year is the one I dread. Memorial Weekend.

Sure, it’s sad for lots of families. It’s also sad for wives, husbands, sons, daughters, and aging parents. But that’s not why I hate it.

I lost someone so important to me. I didn’t realize how valuable she really was until I didn’t have her anymore. This is a day, a moment in time that everything stood still and nothing made sense to me. I desperately wanted to go back in time, change things, bring her back, wake up from this nightmare. I couldn’t believe it. Sometimes I still can’t.

Most people are having BBQs, going to the lake, and fishing. They are enjoying great friends and time with their family. I’m reliving the worse day of my life. It sucks.

Every year I have gotten a little better. My heart still hurts, and it always will. But my anxiety about traveling has gotten less…um, nuts maybe. I just never wanted to leave my house. I feared something terrible would happen to my family. That could ruin the holiday for everyone else, forever.

I could stay hidden and not have to go anywhere. I avoided people for awhile. Once I had my kids, it got harder to do. I had to push myself for them. They wanted to do the same fun things that their friends were doing. How could I blame them?

So it just started out as small trips…ya, know, like leaving my house to drive 5 minutes to the grandparents house. Then over time we went camping and drove a little farther. Last year was the longest trip yet! I was freaking out..not gonna lie. We drove to Deadwood South Dakota from Moorhead Minnesota…it took forever. If I remember right it was over 7 hours. That’s not counting all the restroom stops! I did well but my brain and my chest were a messy.

This year we decided to explore the State we actually live in, Minnesota! I made a choice to be thankful that I can even do these things with my beautiful family! And if I wanted to cry and be sad the next day…all day, than I could. But for this one day, I would be good.

 This right here is Itasca State Park. We didn’t come close to seeing it all. However, what we did see was beautiful and peaceful. It was just what we needed. So many great walking trails and the most gorgeous lakes I’ve seen.

 I couldn’t believe how many trees there were everywhere! I can tell you Moorhead/Fargo area does not look like that! Listening to wind blow through the trees, gave my soul peace.

The landscape was so peaceful, so perfect and I am so blessed to live in such a beautiful place. I was shocked that these amazing places were so close to our home!

We were totally eaten alive by some of the largest mosquitoes I have ever seen in my life. Despite this, this is where I feel most at peace. In nature, in the peace and quite, the beauty of Gods’ amazing gifts. The huge trees, the sounds, the water. The peace.

I felt at ease for the first time in the last few weeks. I am so thankful for that. We found a small Lodge area where we eat dinner. It was cute. I loved the history and quaintness of this small sweet little place.

These beautiful faces are everything to me!

I am telling you, it was hot and the bugs wanted to live inside my ears! I love nature, I really do. I love walking trails and hiking, camping, fishing but bugs love me…and I hate them. I must have the type of blood that they enjoy or something! So every time that I am outdoors I make weird noises that annoy my family… oh well.

 I’m sorry this seems a little Blair Witch-style. Yikes! I probably should NOT have had my flip-flops on while walking a tiny dirt and rock trail. Yeah, that was a bad idea on my part! Next time, I’ll be better prepared!

We took our adventure to a place people here in Minnesota call DL or for us who are not from here call it Detroit Lakes. I was surprised how much I liked it. I was warned it was busy and full of party people. But I have to remember this is coming from people who are not from Denver, Colorado.

Yes, it was full of happy people but crazy and busy, full of partying… no. Not like I have seen. I felt fine having my kids there. Completely save.  One more reason I love living in this place…minus the snow, windy and the deep freeze.

Having sometime in the water was nice for the kids! It gave Jason and I some great ideas for the summer time too! I know for sure, we will be back!

It was great time. It was only for the day. We loved on each other, sang with each other, laughed and made some cool memories. And we brought home lots of bug bits and it was great! I am grateful I am here to do these things because there was a very strong possible I might not have been.

God- You are so good. Even when nothing makes sense and I am so mad at my life…You are still holding me and loving through it all. You make me stronger and softer at the same time. How very blessed I am, even when I am too stubborn to see it!

Enjoy my Blog…

Today’s Quote: So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, and then when we summon the WILL, they soon seen inevitable. -Christopher Reeves

SK