The Almost Empty Nesty- The Middle Space

The middle is a strange place to be. I feel like a middle schooler—caught between what’s ahead and what’s already been. I’ve come a long way, so much so that some might say I know better now. I’m wise enough to avoid making the same mistakes and should have my feet firmly on the ground. I should be able to make decisions practically. Yet, with so much life still ahead, there’s a thrill in the unknown, balanced by the wisdom that comes with experience, leaving me somewhat better prepared for what’s to come.

What is this riddle I speak of, you wonder? It’s the curious middle space of the almost empty nester. What do I mean by “almost”? Well, that’s the middle I’m referring to. It’s that place where you are still a much-needed parent in some areas of life—perhaps with just one child or in specific situations—but your role as a parent is steadily shrinking. You find yourself with more free time in some respects but incredibly busy in others. Sometimes, you might feel useless yet overly needed. Your role in your children’s lives is changing, but not their lives. Your roles as a spouse, provider, and leader at home and beyond are also evolving. You can sense the shift. There’s a part of it that’s exhilarating and makes you want to embrace it, but other parts are slipping away, and you mourn the loss. For me, it’s a bittersweet experience. I’ve had bouts of depression and days when I can’t stop the waterworks! It frustrates me how the tears seem unending. But other days, even when I’m sad, I cope better. Then there are days when I’m super high-functioning and feel like a total boss, getting so much done and handling everything without shedding a tear and even having a sense of joy and accomplishment. I don’t know why some days are better or worse than others. I am an emotional creature, deeply loving my family and work. God made me care so much, and I just navigate this as best as possible- It’s all I can do.

I have recently embarked on a whole new adventure, branding myself in a different field. After 20 years in education, I am now working full-time in marketing. It’s new to me, but I am an organized, creative, hands-on person. In fact, it’s right up my alley! Working with websites since 2017 has prepared me, and my background in education has been invaluable. Listening to others’ needs and communicating effectively are crucial skills. It’s not about you; it’s about telling their story and helping them grow. When they succeed, you succeed. As a teacher, I encountered many people who believed they were the smartest in the room, but those who took the time to care for the teachers and students, putting in the extra effort, truly thrived. Those who thought they knew it all often left a bad impression and brought others down. When you invest in your people, you grow alongside them. You can’t go wrong with that philosophy. I live by it!

In this middle space of oddness, I feel somewhat like a newborn. I’m out of place and learning as I go. But the pace is set, and I think we’re doing alright. My son is practically a grown man and only needs me occasionally—to feed his fish, for instance. The good part is that when he does call on me, it’s usually for fun stuff like going out for lunch or taking a drive, where I get to be the princess passenger, sipping my iced coffee and enjoying the music. Not a bad gig. My daughter, on the other hand, is a whole different story. I ask for your prayers. Any moms out there with teenage daughters… if you know, you know! HELP ME!

Despite this weird space and constant changes, I’m learning to embrace this new chapter. Each day brings its own set of challenges and joys, reminding me that growth often comes from these in-between moments. So here’s to navigating the middle, finding balance, and cherishing every unexpected twist along the way. Cheers to the journey of this middle space and seeing my WAY through it with grace.