Clear Eyes

And I think to myself… what a wonderful world ๐ŸŒŽ

If I want my world to be ๐Ÿ’•

My voice doesn’t need to be the loudest๐ŸŒŠ

To changes Hearts โ™ฅ๏ธ & move mountains ๐Ÿ”

Remembering who I am & who God has Called me to be ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ

Listening to the inner voice โ™ฅ๏ธ to direct & give me strength ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿฝ

Sometimes I’m shaken & broken ๐Ÿ’” but only to wipe away dirt from my eyes ๐Ÿ‘€

My vision is restored & heart โค๏ธ is back in place ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ

I see truth for what it is and I am at peace โœŒ๐Ÿฝ

xoxo sk

Mini Update: Health & Recovery

Slow- Steady & Frustrating

Ella-my sweet therapy pup

Update: On My Crazy ๐Ÿ˜œ

Since March I have been keeping a journal of everything that I eat, all symptoms and also my workouts.

Just to fresh anyone who cares… I’m in my 30’s going through menopause! Yay me!

I also have a migraines conditions that can cause a “seizure like” effect on my brain/body if I don’t do everything I need to to control it-which can be tricky.

Recently, my neurologist has been testing and observing me for Belly’s Palsy.

What’s Happening So Far

I turned in my journals to my doctor only Friday (7/8/19), so I’m not sure what she thinks yet. But I’ll tell you I do workout, eat well and take my meds like I’m supposed to.

This makes it very frustrating when my weight only goes up! From December to March I had lost 13 lbs and I was killing my self to get that done.

I woke up at 4am to get to the gym, then I would workout a second time at the park by my kids school. When I was done with that workout I would do yoga at home and then do a long, fast paced walk for 45 minutes to an hour before I pick them up from school. At one point I was doing another decent hike with Jason when he got home from work!

Trust me when I say…I was pissed that I had only lost 13lbs after all that and was only eating carrots and cottage cheese everyday!

Oh JOY another day of veggies

Since then I’ve actually maintained that weight loss okay but 3-5lbs here and there will stick around. However, I haven’t lost a single pound since!

My workouts and eating has changed a bit. I couldn’t keep that nightmare up so now I do a light yoga stretching in the morning and at night but have days when I work my core area harder. My new workout routine in more focused and I do it almost everyday, with somedays being longer or shorter than others. I like it but I am not losing and I look that same.

My eating haven’t changed a crazy amount. I fast for long periods during the day and drink lots water. I have had a soda ๐Ÿฅค or cookie every now and then but I intake far less calories and Still I remain a cow ๐Ÿฎ…well in my eyes.

Hormones & Other Meds

My medications do a lot of good for me and a lot of harm. That sucks!

It’s because of medicine that I’m able to have headaches free days and my body is free of aches and pains. But medicine comes with so many side effects too! I gain weight, my eyes burn, I’m sleepy, forget things and even my writing is effected. My cognitive skills are just slower sadly. My energy is drained.

So then I’m giving another medication and that one should help with one thing but has it’s own side effects too. Stomach pain, dry mouth, stuffy head and mood swings… this is my life!

At some point I have to get off the roller coaster!

What Will I do?

I honestly don’t know what the answer is! I’ve been fighting this for along time. I do my research and I think the doctors try too.

Right now I take only what I feel I need for myself emotionally and mentally. Then there’s what I need because of my hysterectomy. I have to be on hormone replacements for that. The rest is all About healing my body and replacing what is missing. If that makes any sense?

If it’s not going to help me then I don’t want it!

Self care & Meditation ๐Ÿง˜โ€โ™€๏ธ

I use to live be Meditation! This is something I’ve been doing before and after my Bible Study. This has made a massive difference in my health.

I also have started to moisturizer ๐Ÿงด like crazy! I use my essential oil everywhere! In the shower, out of the shower, with my face wash, my facial moisturizer and even with my primer before makeup and I cannot believe how it’s helps me.

I use less Advil for pain for aches and pain. I don’t use chemicals on my skin or for breakouts. Honestly, I have so many less breakouts that I don’t worry about that much now.

The oils

**Different oils help with different things. Some with physical pain and others emotional/mental pain.

**Helps me to sleep or give me energy

**Helps with focus, concentration and creativity.

**Other times I just use them to be in a peaceful, calming state to relax

my.doterra.com/skellylou303

For more info on Essential Oils go to my website!

Special Thanks๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ’•

I again want to thank my WordPress Following and everyone else who supports, likes & share & comments!

This Blog has been by far the best medicine for my soul. The people I’ve connected with have been a big part of my healing and direction to brighter place. I’m so very thankful!

Xoxo sk

Donโ€™t let me fall

Don’t let me fall

Don’t let me fall

Reach for me in the dark

Let me know your here

Don’t let me fall

I’m still real close to edge

Steady me when I’m unbalanced

Don’t let me fall

Reassure me I’m not alone in this fight

Remind me who you are

Don’t let me fall

Be my breath when I can’t breathe

Be my quiet when it’s too loud

Don’t let me fall

Be my calming place when I’m lost in the storm

Be my strength when I’m too weak

Don’t let me fall

Save me when I can’t save myself

Protect me when I hurt

Don’t let me fall

Make me believe the things that I lost hope in

Make the hard decision that hurt but are right

I’m waiting on you…

Xoxo sk

Dog Backwards Spells God

All Because I Had To Pee…

All because I had to pee so bad my plans had a bit of a delayed and thank God they did!

Because God delayed me this day and made every bathroom near my workout spot closed, I had to get in my truck and drive to Albertsons to use the restroom and of course while I was there my ADD kicked in…

I had to buy a huge bag of avocado, face wash, a toothbrush, more coffee and a large water. I’m so random.

After all that and an empty bladder, I could finally head to the park to workout. Or so I thought….

Meet Dallas & God At Work

So this a photo from Pinterest but does look like my new friend, Dallas!

As I’m driving down the street, I see the most terrified 100 pound, beautiful dog that I’ve ever seen. I thought to myself this dog has to belong to someone, no one would let this poor baby go free on purpose!

I slowed way down and drove slowly next to him. I could see this scared pup was trying to get into the gated neighborhood but couldn’t. Every time a loud, fast car or school bus would fly by, would start to panic and head into street. I just drove slow next to him for a bit which was good because he crossed into the street and I would block other cars from hitting him.

Finally as we approach the intersection, I couldn’t wait anymore and I jumped out of my truck to go to him. “Come here baby”, I would call to him and at first he didn’t seen sure but after a few seconds he made his way over to me and let me pet him. What a sweetie! But he was so scared, trembling actually.

I know it may be hard to imagine this huge 100 pound dog being so frightened but in my experience it usually is the big Dogs that are the gentle, sweet, mellow, big cry babies. It’s the small Dogs who are pure piss and vinegar and want to fight! They pack a big punch in their little bodies!

Back to Dallas…now, I wanted to get him in my truck. I didn’t know what I’d do at the point but I knew he wouldn’t get hit by car there or more lost then he was! But as I tried to move his large body closer to my truck he put on the breaks… um HELL NO… DOGNAPPER! Ok dude, I’m think what to I do… then a loud trucks blow by us to let me know how inconveniencing it is that my truck is parked on the side of the road. ( You showed me…Ass.) This caused Dallas to freaks out and started to jog down towards the intersection!

Crap! Crap! Crap! I was thinking this is bad, he’s going to get hit! This good thing was this big guy knew that he lived in this gated community and he was trying desperately to get back in! The loud cars just would cause hit to panic and lose track of where he was and what he was doing. I think if he wasn’t so scared, he’d made it home.

I found him again trying to get in a side gate. Awe, poor dude!

I again jumped out and he comes to me right away but when I move towards my truck, he basically told me to bug off and he took off.

Damnit! Okay new plan… I’ll stay with him.

He didn’t go far I could see him. I drove up the road more and could see he was now trying to find away through the fence. I again jumped out of my truck and could see he was already on the move. So I just left my door open, keys in the truck and my phone… oops forgot it…I know… what a dumbass!

I walked over to him and then sat on the sidewalk and called over to him. At first he was definitely not going to give me another chance but then the cars were really letting me know how mad they were because my truck doors wide open! This really scared him and he practically jumped into arms. Oh a thank Jesus!

Now slowly…slowly….very slowly we clawed to the driver side of my truck. This took awhile to do, I had to keep talking to Dallas and petting him and letting him know I wasn’t Dognap him! “Please come a little close dude… come on… a little more buddy….”

I stretched a crossed my front seat with one arm while holding tight Dallas collar with the other arm and praying no one would hit us! I reached for my keys and turned my truck off and reached a little farther and got my phone!

Okay! We did it!!! Good boy!!! Then we hurried to sidewalk again and I called the first number on the collar, no answer. I called again, leaving a message telling this person that I had this person Dog. Then I called the second number and did the same thing.

I think it’s important to mention here that I have a different area code then the state that I live in so that’s why they didn’t answer.

I just called and called and called. It felt like 100 times. Dallas and just chilled there on the sidewalk. I grab that large bottle of water I just bought and got him some and it was all gone in a matter of seconds. Our big boy had calmed down soooo much now. I almost had him laying down at one point… then a loud car would go by.

At last!!!! My phone call was answered! I said um, hi… I think I have your Dog. We’re here on the side of the road.

The voice on the other line is panicked “OH MY GOD, IS HE OK!!”

“Yes, He’s good!” …….

Oh sweet Dallas….

After Dallas mom, who I now know as Suzanne, picked up her sweet giant, she called me to explained what had happened. Of course she didn’t need to tell me any of this. I was just so thankful Dallas was with his family now. How often that doesn’t end this way.

Suzanne had so much happening her house and it was about to be power washed. When the generator scared her sweet timid boy which scared him to look for safety by tying to get away from the scary sound… and ended up lost on the other side of the gate.

It’s fine I told her, even after she told me to me I could call her for anything I might need living in this new place. That’s super kind but seriously it’s totally fine, I said over and over. But God makes things work sooo perfectly….

New Hair, DO care!!

Later that night I get a text:

Wow! I really didn’t want to give her the nightmare that is my hair! But she insisted and for free! This is all too much! I didn’t deserve this! I would stop for any and all dogs that I see anywhere. I honestly feel guilty receiving anything for doing something that’s RIGHT.

God’s plans

Y’all know this could not have came at a more needed time in my life.

I’m trying to get my life in order, physically, emotionally, mentally… all around. It’s something I’ve been kinda at war with.

On top of that! I’ve not met too many nice people here at all! This was truly amazing and so kind! Unnecessary but still amazingly generous. Meeting her hair assistant the day I actually got my hair done was one more sweet, genuine person here in California ๐Ÿงก

Plus, I don’t have many friends really at all and although I can’t say we’re “friends” I do know one more person than I knew before if I have a question about this crazy beautiful place than I knew before and for that I am beyond thankful!

She even invited me and my family to her church. How sweet!

I haven’t felt great with all these moves and not being able to see my family. My health has sucked and to be frank… I’ve been lonely, closed off and unheard.

I’ve only had my dogs through all this. Sure I have my kids but most they have ME. I don’t leave them. But through all this I have no one but my dogs and they have been amazing for me. I hate to admit it but There’s have been times I have felt like even God has looked the other way.

So much has happened. They say it isn’t until you have some distance… sometime to look back to see God’s works that you get to see the big big picture, all His planning. You can see why the pain was there and why you had to go through somethings or leave someone or some place. There’s a lesson in the hurt. If you listen and you trust, faith, I guess… if you let it all flow then the plans of God’s Will for your life will be better than what you ever could have pictures or wanted or even thought for yourself in any of your wildest dreams.

I never thought I’d even like California and I’m finding myself calling these mountains “my” mountains and the ocean is “my” ocean. This place is hard to live in but somehow I’m living here. Not surviving… living… exploring and trying new things and enjoy it.

Sadness happens and I get frustrated at times …who doesn’t. My humanness will never stop.

I’m just happy right now and I’m embracing that and doing everything I can to live everyday that I got loving my sweet animals, my family, the relationships in my life and this amazing place I call home!

xoxo sk

Coming up… Back Together

From Minnesota To California

I am currently enjoying some much needed time with my people from Minnesota!

I can’t believe they made it here! However it is one of the worst winters in history in the mid-west so I guess I understand why the California sun is calling!

Currently I am working on taking tons of photos and videos! I can’t wait to put it all together to share it with you all!

So… keep a lookout for my upcoming blog/vlog! Hope you enjoy it!

Xoxo ๐Ÿ’‹ sk

Table for one

I’m sitting here at Denny’s by myself and I’m good with!

It’s different, feeling alone and actually being alone.

Being alone on Purpose is interesting.

I’m taking everything in around. I wondering if I seem weird or sad to others, if they even notice me at all?

I see a group of old retired men. They are having many different conversations within their group.

I can’t help but wonder if one day I might be so blessed to have a group of my own to reminisce with one day.

There’s a few tables of moms with small children. They’re doing their best to keep their littles happy, cutting up pancakes and wiping faces. There is one table that I see with a Mom and a Dad. They have two young children, both under 3. That table is a mess! God bless you parent for even attempting this!

Then there’s the professionals… totally here to discuss work or maybe complain. They look miserable. Maybe it’s just me and my Extreme dislike for suits!

There’s also one large table tucked in the back with what looks like college age boys. I says boys because I see skinny jeans and perfectly under touched white Keds. How sweet.

I only see one table with a couple in here and there’re ignoring each other. Maybe I shouldn’t be so annoyed when this happens to me. Maybe this is just marriage.

Now for others like me.

I’m surprised how many table for one that I see. At least 6 tables have just one person, sitting by themselves. However, I am the only female…. holy cow! Correction another women just walked in and looks to be alone, like me!

She much older, maybe in her 60s. But funny thing, we’re dressed the same! Sweatpants and a t-shit. Our hair is up in a ponytail and we both are wearing glass. She’s opened a book and has started to read… I writing! Damn! Is this my future self? At least she looks content.

I think this experience. Is good for me. I get to take my time eating and just observed!

I can sit wherever the hell I want. Normal my daughter declares before we even open the door that I WILL sit next to her and I always end up next to the wall. I always have to take her to the bathroom several times throughout our meal. That’s all just annoying, since rarely does she ever actually have to go to the bathroom!

I end up eating so fast that I always feel sick afterwards! I have to be done and ready to go when my husband says “let’s go”! Maybe this is better for me every now and then.

New experience. It’s definitely different but good for me.

Xoxo sk