Light The Match & Let Burn
I have little love loss for our last “home”. I cringe to call that place a “home” at all since it was the complete opposite to me. This place was more like a terrible experience…a lesson that nearly destroyed my family and shattered my mental health profoundly. It’s not an overstatement to say that I was broken by my time in this place, by these people, what I allowed in.
Yes. We each managed through our nearly two years in this superficial, alien place. I continued to live on each day with my mental, emotional health barely survived but still became stronger over time with help.
My kids struggled through as well…One kid actually thrived, while the other child pushed through everyday much like I did; just getting through the day was a success for all us as a family.
My marriage was joke…not much to write about there because nothing good was going on…nothing. Our family wasn’t a unit… everyday was just time ticking away, waiting for it all to be over. Everyday a little ourselves being chipped away.
I’ve never felt more helpless in my life.
Recognize The Good & Move On
I’m thankful for the few people that I could call friends. We didn’t do very much together but I’m grateful for the laughs and the few coffees that we all could share. I had so few highlights during my time in “planet ME” but those girls, were all I had some days. They got me through things that they aren’t even aware of!
2019 was one the worst times in my life, but even being unpaid most the time that I came to work, getting to be with these people…These women were “my people”- not part of this smug, new world that I was living in. I found myself looking forward to something, in a world of rude, self-center, talkers! I found some solid, real-life, strong, kind, of Mothers! So grateful for them! Even if they don’t talk to me now.
My Son did awesome in school in this backward place too, so I have to be thankful for that! He had awesome, caring teachers! They went beyond the call of a teacher and really loved on my child. They cared about the Whole child and it showed! Tristan is a quiet kid. He’s sweet and kind, most faithful and honest kid at heart. That’s him.
He’s all boy, in the way that he loved trucks, cars, RCs and wide open spaces. He loves his dog and has a huge heart for animals but he’s not wild or a risk taker at all. That’s not the kind of boy that he is. These amazing teachers brought out the best in him and care about what he cared about.
Tristan made great friends while attending school here. He had to learn some tough lessons too but middle school will do that to you. I’m sure our situation didn’t help anything, which is why I’m so thankful for Tristan’s teacher. She knew our tough situation and fill the gaps. I’m beyond thankful for her!
My other child didn’t have the same experience. She was told that she’s slow and to wait when she needed help. Then she would be totally ignored. Keep in mind this child scores high in most levels. She’s very bright but unfortunately she was very very unliked but an asshole teacher.
Sadly, the damage was done to her poor self esteem. She believed was in fact was slow and not liked by anyone. By the time Grace started 3rd grade, she just didn’t trust herself to even try anymore.
Her 2nd grade teacher broke my baby…Her 3rd grade teacher, I think really did tried but she was busy and didn’t spend the time that a now broken child needed.
My heart hurts for her and is anger too.
That’s it….I got nothing else. I’m truly thankful for the good, small amount of humans that God placed in my life while I and my family were that living nightmare but there’s no place that I’d rather not be.
You sucked me dry California and most every person I met did the same.