I know y’all will think that I’m being terrible to myself with that kind of title but I’m not. It’s all in fun and jokes! If I don’t laughs at myself than truly I will start truly beat myself up!
As some of you that follow me know, I have been going through all my old post and trying my best to freshen them up and repost them with some updates and a new spin. I have really enjoyed it. I will be doing that for a few more weeks!
While doing my blog cleaning, life for me in quarantine has been really. Lots of self improvement is going on! Which we’ll get into more later and will I’ll write a whole post about the things I’m working on and focusing on. But things could always be better…hence the title. Let me be more specific…
I’m getting fat.
I may or may not, have mentioned that right as the world was shut its doors, I had only got my family new doctors. We are still pretty new here in South Jersey. We were and are still trying to get settled in to this place and making it our home.
One of the millions of things on my list of things that I have to do, is to get everyone established with a doctor. It’s not the funnest part of settling in to a new state but very necessary. Either way, I had missed the cut to get myself a doctor, which has been a real pain a the ace!
am was on four different medications at the time that I moved from California to Jersey. I had done my homework and had gotten extra meds to get me through. But then again, who knew we’d need extra time to find a home and then a global pandemic would be at our doorstep?
I tried to get a doctor but to no avail. It was so frustrating! I even called my old doctors in California to see if they would refill my prescriptions? Thank goodness, my Neurologist did agree for one month’s worth but the other doctors didn’t want to help. Even in a pandemic! What jerks!
So what choice did I have but to wing myself off those meds myself? That’s just what I did. I was sick and had some side effects that were uncomfortable…painful at times. Two of the medications, I believe I am much better without but one that I have been without, I’m a “huge” mess without. I’m getting bigger everyday! Literally!
Estrogen! I had a hysterectomy just over a year ago. I’ve been cursed with women-issues my whole woman-life! The only thing I am super grateful for, is that my daughter and I will never have our periods at the same time ever! Also, I can’t leave out that my female organs did give me two beautiful kids and I am beyond thankful for that!
Otherwise, they have been the worst nightmare! Even now having a total hysterectomy and being an empty tomb, I am still suffering! Being a woman is rough! My feet, hands and even nose are freezing all the time but the rest of me is sweating like I am on fire! I feel like I am baking on the hot sands of the Mojave Desert or something, just waiting to die!
Forget sleeping. The last time I had really good sleep was when I was single and before I had kids! I tell you it haven’t got much better now that my kids are older. I’m a puddle of sweat all night that tosses and turns all night! My husband snores and the dog takes the whole bed!
Oh, and my poor skin! My skin is so dry even in this 98% humidity. I am super Sahara Desert dry! Like a paper artifact from the 1800’s kind of dry. No amount of lotion, oil potion will heal my brittle old lady skin.
Sounds hot and attractive? I know right? Oh…it gets way worse!
Well, don’t get me started on any type of sex life because I just can’t go there right now. I can’t. For one…I think my husband might kill me. For two…I literally can’t! But before I jump onto why my brain is melting, let me say, that I do have a super attractive husband and he has been nothing but supportive and patient with me while I am going through the worst forced menopause in life! I’m very grateful to support but I have my moments!
So yes! My adult ADD! Now, I said back at the top of this post that I felt like two of the medications that was on, I am better without! It’s true! I am full of energy now! I am able to multitasking like a MOTHER! I’m over here and then I’m over there! I feel super crazy happy and it’s all me! NO DRUGS…NO HAPPY PILLS! Just pure joy most days!
It’s a glorious thing! However, I am losing my mind a little bit. I can’t remember where I put things and I am pretty organized, very clean…Still, I lose everything!
Then when I’m talking about something, right in the middle of my thought, it’ll leave me! If someone interrupts me (which happens a lot around here) forget it! I don’t even know what the heck I was saying!
Even in the middle of my working around the house, cleaning the floors, I’ll end up stopping to reorganize a book self! Doing the laundry, I’ll reorganize the dresser or clean the whole laundry room and never even put away the laundry! Paying and updating the bills and I’m purging and updating old documents. Nothing I need to do ever actually gets done! It’s frustrating!
After months and month of not having any estrogen and no doctor, I finally got a new patient appointment online. I finally felt like I was getting somewhere…kind of.
In a way this is great! The doctor was so gentle in telling me that my weight gain wasn’t all my fault and my headaches and sleepless nights, also not all me because I’m not crazy or sick. I won’t be on my 600 lb life anytime soon.
Wonderful! He just wants me to go to an OB\GYN to handle this and everything will be fine. I’ll lose this annoy weight, along with working out at least 3 to 4 days a week and drinking more water, lay off the caffeine. Sure I can do that!
I told my new doctor to sign me up! I’m in! Get me an OB right now, I need to fix these hormones yesterday! And there’s the catch, there is no opens for any OB\GYN anywhere in New Jersey until the end of August!
Yes…you read the right. END OF AUGUST! Are you freaking kind me! Well…great! I will just continue to melt everyday and into the night. Never sleep ever and have paper skin that is FLAKING off… I’m a leaper! Racing heart beat, headache, no sex drive…Hello friends, this is me now! Did I mention my hair is falling out! Flipping wonderful!
I know that we are in the middle ( at the end now really) of Covid19/pandemic… whatever right now but people are gathering in the thousands in the streets all over the place- no problem! But to get a real appointment with a doctor, no way! I just want a normal doctor’s appointment and can’t have one and it’s bs.
My hysterectomy was over a year ago and still, I can’t get a doctor to even check me, to see if I have healed right. If anyone knows what life was like for me in California, I had trouble taking care of myself and had no one to care for me. Even the doctors I had there, didn’t care. I’ll leave my Neurologist out of that grouping. I think he did.
Anyway, I guess after already waiting what feels like for….ever….and being without what I need for this long, I can keep waiting but I don’t want to.
In the meantime, I’m going to get busy working out now. This is something I use to be on top of my whole life! I feel ashamed that I haven’t done more of since I’ve here.
My dad and I use to go to gym every single day when I was in high school and even in middle school a little. He taught how to be strong and healthy, even how to fight. I know better then how I have been living the last few months here in Jersey. I know better than this.
I’ve always been good about having some type of workout routine in my life. I’ve always walked and done some kind of circuit training or core type exercise. Meditation and yoga, I started about 3 years ago but about 3 months ago, I stopped even stretching. I’m not sure why?
The work around 5 acres of forest does give you a workout! I have no trouble staying busy for sure! However, I know it’s important to have a focused workout regiment!
A week ago now I’ve been in full workout regiment! It might not seem like much but it’s a start! It’s a promise to getting healthy and back into good shape for me! This is a gift that I am giving myself because I know I need it but more importantly, I know I am worth it!
Instead of waking up to coffee, which I love. I woke up to a big bottle of water and my new YouTube work friend, Get Fit By Ivana! It’s about a 25 minute routine. I started with The Butt Workout and honestly it kicked my butt. I’m embarrassed to admit it!
I also found another site Get Fit With Cedar. Not only does she has an awesome blog, with so many fabulous tips to keep you excited about being in shape and healthy but she has some great videos that I can’t wait to also use!
Once that was over and I could really get the jest of how very out of shape I had gotten. I must have inspired Jason because he then wanted to go for a “speed walk/hike”. I said that I would go too. I had no clue Jason was going to drag me around for a few hours, like he was trying to prove something!
So my plantar fasciitis is all worked up in my stupid foot now! I’m kind of pissed about it since I’m already on my feet most the day! I don’t have time for this pain! But now I know to tell Jason that I’m not going with him all the way or just don’t go at all.
I won’t let this foot pain stop me from keeping these workouts up. I have a good workout plan in mind for myself!
My harder workouts- 3 days a week. Then yoga and cardio- 3 days a week. One day a week, just really good stretching, recovery and rest. If I need to readjust and give myself two days of stretching, recovery and rest, then that’s not a big deal, I will.
My thought is once I get my estrogen going or HRT, it will take a month or even longer for it to really work or even to know if it’s the right amount or kind. I can help my… soon to be 40 year old body and get ahead of the game with these workouts! I hope!
Estrogen is so important for a women’s body. I never really understood that until going through all of this. Even going through my hysterectomy I was never told anything about estrogen at all.
Doctors may hate having patience who google everything but it’s important to reserch and ask other people question who have gone through what you are going through or are about to go through things.
I am a big advocate for sharing our stories. You never know who you helping out there! Be prepared and ask lots questions. It’s your body and in the end you are in charge of your health!