Accountability Check Time
Another week has gone by… 1/12-1/18/2020
And let’s just say, I did 50% / 50%…Please allow me to explain myself… I was still great about not eating like a cow. However, I never really over eat so I didn’t really accomplish anything there. I did manage to keep my portions smaller and I think that’s a plus! I also continued my workouts as planned and walking my dogs everyday! (no workouts on Sundays) GO ME!!
Here’s what I followed this week.
The type of foods that I ate? Well, I did have one day that I gave in and I had this spicy shrimp pasta and just yesterday (1/16) I had a burger and it was so freaking good. Still didn’t eat the whole plate, which when it comes to Italian food; that’s not a problem for me. I didn’t eat any of the bread either. So I treated myself after a week of doing very good! All in all I’m doing better.
Lots and lots of raw veggies, carrots, broccoli, celery and tomatoes. I actually love all that stuff! I’m eating salads but I still probably need more leafy greens. I’m still really good about my fruit, pineapple, kiwi, melons, grapes, berries. Yum!
Sadly…Jason, brought home the most delicious chocolate chip cookie EVER and because I don’t want to be a liar…I’ll tell you all the truth…I ate many of them. Maybe 5….maybe more… I lost count…terrible! My weakness is soft chocolate chip cookies! So good! I’m hoping my daily workouts will help counteract my addiction.
I’ve been eating hard boiled eggs and chicken breast for protein. I’m so sick of chicken every night…blah. We have gone out and had seafood as a family and that was a decent day together!
What it’s really about!
One day I did have sushi with my G! We had a Mommy-Daughter day together and I ate rice…that’s a no no! But I had a great time with her! It was worth the rice! I have to remember I’m not doing the Keto thing 100% here…I’m just trying to do better and I am. I also had a mom and son day with Tristan, which we never get to do. I’m so glad we got to do that because it was amazing! I did keep it mostly healthy at lunch. I had a blue cheese burger no bun and Vegetable beef soup. I made sure not finish either of those things! But it wasn’t about the food…it was about the time.
The best part of my time with the kids, had nothing to do with my eating habits or losing weight! It was good for us emotionally, mentally and even spiritually. I had so much fun with them. We walked around the mall and I let them pick out outfits that they would want to wear. It was cool to see what they would do without being told. I just LISTENED to them. It’s crazy how controlled they feel because I feel that way too at times. You can know you have a great family and that you are so loved but still feel alone in some parts of your life. We had some really good conversations.
I only want to nudge them in the right direction and keep them safe but I never want to shame them or be overly controlling. I hate that they both feel that way at times. It’s hard as a parent to know what’s the right amount of “ingredients” to pour in…I guess the only one I know for sure is unconditional love. I’m glad they felt like they could tell me how they felt and now I’ll be better about my reactions to them and having their back when they need to me too and when to back off.
Our time together IS very much part of my health check…even if I didn’t know how much we all needed it. Gracie and I went and got our nails done too. As a women, being taken care of like a lady, is something that I have very much neglected for myself. This felt good to do for me but better to do with Grace. We both really enjoyed each others company. It was so nice, peaceful and way….WAY overdue. Grace kept saying “remember in Colorado…we use to do this all the time. I miss that Mom! That was best! Don’t you miss those days before we stopped being happy together?” Yes…Grace, I do miss that but it’s back now.
Am I happy?
The easy answer is YES. I am happy.
It comes in waves of being what I think “other” people must feel like…normal. I’m able to handle day to day task with a good outlook and get outdoors without any fear or worry but I still let people closest to me knock me down to easily. It’s like a quick punch in the gut here and there, then I’m in tears! I have a painful migraine that is soon taking over my whole body and I am questioning my whole life.
But I have less of those days anymore and my bounce back it so much greater and faster now. I have gotten stronger and as much as I don’t like to cry, I do allow myself to if I need to. I’m okay with it even if it makes other people uncomfortable. I’m also totally fine (after careful thought) removing ANY joker out of my life that is damaging to my mental health. I think it’s okay now to say “my happiness is important too”. I’ve worked and prayed to hard to get to this point, to let anyone mess with my flow.
I see more good things than I do bad. Being a positive person isn’t as difficult as it use to be for me. Being grateful is just easy now. I’m so so damn thankful! I guess being so close to death will do that to a person. Some people (even in my own circle) just don’t know! Understanding all the blessings that cover me everyday, helps me so much! It just gets me through the mean stuff..the mean people. The valley…
Also working out has become slightly easier, only in the fact that I don’t hate it as much. The bands still feel awkward and I still have force myself to push that extra bit. When I am already sore it makes things even more challenging and I really have to not wimp out. But the walks with my dog come so naturally now. I enjoy that burn in my legs and the time outside, even on the cold days! After it’s all done, I feel really good and so happy I’ve done it!
However, I know I won’t lose much weight from working out. I know because I’ve been down this road many times and it’s from being on all these meds and from my hysterectomy. It adds a concert layer that’s just impossible. I worked out a lot in CA…and nothing helped. I even took medication to help to digest my food better and that did nothing for me but make me nauseous.
My workouts really aren’t too crazy. I am still using my bands and doing way more stretching because honestly…I’m feeling the pain of these workouts and I hurt! We all walk the dogs often! I get my steps in! We try to do more active things as a family and I’m so glad we do!
The other night went to Sky Zone! So much fun! If you aren’t aware what this place is…it’s basically trampolines everywhere! This is not our family’s norm at all. We would go get food or go to a movie. I still love the movie thing but being more active is better! Exploring and doing things that are totally different for us and getting us out of our comfort zone, I think are really good. I had a great time. The aching in my feet lasted for the whole week but I will soooo be doing this again!
So that’s all I have for this week! Any tips or tricks anyone has, (don’t eat cookies..I know, I know!) please give to me! I need all the help I can get! And thanks for being part of my journey! ❤️