While I sat in the car with good spirits and only slightly nauseated for the 14 hour drive ahead of us, I knew I needed to keep a light and joyful demeanor for everyone. I am carrying the atmosphere of this car and my spirit requires positivity, patients and JOY! I also needed to build up the courage to meet this challenge, WHAT HAPPINESS LOOKS LIKE to us, I set for myself with Jas. I needed to block low vibes for the family, which meant I had to block them for me and I would have to channel my power to keep up the atmosphere in this car for the better.
What was surprising in this task is that it wasn’t much of a task at all! As I have been meditating and changing my words and thoughts for a little while now. I guess you can say “faking it till I make it” it has become easier to do and my family is doing the same. I heard Gigi, my 7 year old daughter in the back seat getting annoyed at her brother and she took some deep breathes and said ” good vibes in, low vibes out”. I just smiled to myself. Normal, it would have been yelling at each other to knock it off and keep your damn hands to yourself! The kids have been mediating with me for just a short time but what a world of difference it’s made for all of us. Sliver lining… I wouldn’t have known the power I have in creating a positive atmosphere and how my family vibes off me so greatly if it wasn’t for this road trip. Blessed I am!
As I have mentioned in my past blog, my challenge was to discuss and write out WHAT HAPPINESS LOOKS LIKE to me and Jas. We are doing this without any judgement from each other and worry of judgement from family or friends. It sounds easy but it isn’t. So many times we plan our lives around what we know is expected of us and when you have done this as long as Jas and I have, it becomes an ugly habit you don’t even realizes you are living. You then are being a judgmental jerk yourself to others and it holds you back from your true happiness! It’s a heavy pressure of crap no one wants for themselves or to put on someone else. Once you break free of your judgement, you break free of fear of judgement from others! Then WHAT HAPPINESS LOOKS LIKE changes from what thought…
As Jas and I made our way to Colorado we discussed our Happiness plan and one thing for sure was what we thought and what we know to be true for us was now very different. Once we release control of our judgements, fears and exceptions, everything changed. This move to Minnesota has changed us, grown us, made us stronger and opened us up to LOVE in ways we had never expected. I will say for that I am beyond grateful!
So as we headed down the highway I pulled out my journal/notebook that I take everywhere with me and we began to open up. Jas started and I listened and I before you knew it we had it writen out.
WHAT HAPPINESS LOOKS LIKE TO US…
*Financial Freedom- which will lead us to=
~Simple things in life-ending the chaos, which is a big cause of our stress and my anxiety and depression. It’s time to enjoy the simple things… the sunset, the sound of wind in the trees, the smell of my coffee in the morning, listening to kids laughing! Be thankful for what we have now… stop thinking it going to be better later and enjoy right now in this moment.
~Down sizing our home- just enough room for everyone to have their own space, is plenty enough! No more getting lost in the stuff that only cause of stress and pain.
~Having a savings account 🙂
~Being better prepared for life and the unexpected
~Being able to help others in their time of need or just being able to give!
~Travel and Explore- Making memories with our family and friends is what we want, not things. Explore the world God has put in front of us!
All this brought us to different elements of our life one being….. our home needs. I am home taking care of our family much of the time alone. I have alway done this for the most part but it’s completely different now because we are in a new place. I am starting all over. I am not Sarah the teacher, Sarah the sister, Sarah Alan and Nadine daughter or even Sarah mom of two kids. I am just Sarah now. That’s an awesome and frighting thing! What and where I live is important to my emotional, mental and physical wellbeing. I never considered this when we first moved to Minnesota but I see it in a huge way now and I will be more in tuned to this when we move again this spring.
*Home Needs-to feel free and comfortable=
~Need a place to keep me connected to the word!- This means I can’t live in the middle of nowhere. I need a town or small city I can manage well on my own, have space for quite and privacy and still interact with people. ** Such as walking to a gym, yoga, shops, dinning, parks, dogs parks and kids friendly. I need a good community to be a part of! I know now isolation is detrimental to my overall health and therefore my families health as well.
~Mental Health- being around an outgoing community to engage with will keep me from retreating back into myself and keep the depression from creeping in! Being able to interact with others will help me to know I am okay and will be okay. Anxiety has been a tough one for me but never this hard since I have moved. I have always felt people give me anxiety and too many people around still can but being part of a group of people I can trust gives me comfort.
~Personal Space- As we considered housing options we never thought of considering before from our “norm” we are now open to things such as town homes, condos, brownstones and such, it’s very important to make sure all 4 of us and our 2 pups have personal space to call their own! I have to recognize that although I have my needs to keep me functioning, my kids and husband have their needs too.
~Storage/Cars- ( I know this might seem ridiculous! But for our life it’s isn’t. Because of past decisions we need to make some new decision to free us from some burdens. Now that we are looking at things through the lens of LOVE and without fear of judgment, we need to reevaluate any choices we have made before in judgement!)
-Possible sale of camper- why did we buy this? Was it for us or because we thought this would make us better parents and more likable to our kids?? We also have to pay to store the camper. Also without the camper I don’t need to get a truck to haul it and can get a vehicle from my husband’s company which goes back to Financial Freedom (still in discussion) And it gives me the Freedom to choose my vehicle and not my circumstances forcing me into a decision!
-Storage- We move often! So we want to be able bring along mementoes but not things that are unnecessary. When we look for our next home we need a garage and some storage but only for what we need. Understand the difference between wants and needs is very important. Having 8 LARGE tubs of christmas decoration is NOT necessary …WHY DO I HAVE THIS!!
~Health- We both want and need to lose some serious LBS!! In the past we have always worked out together and Jas has lost weight easier than I but we both enjoy the time together. Ever more important than that we connect and our mental health gets repaired in the process! WORKING OUT and losing some LBS for our maxim health is a must on this Plan!
-Also Cook together! We are apart often but when we are together make it a team effort and make it healthy! I look forward to this! We have always had fun cooking together in the past but over time it turned into “my reasonability” and I have NOT enjoyed it even a tiny bit! The work of cooking, then watching no one eat it and then cleaning it all up while everyone sits so relaxed on the couch watching TV! I am over that! Let’s do it together! I am not the only one eating after all!
– Healing of our minds and bodies in whichever way works for us- I do Meditation, Yoga, exploring essential oils and making sure I get my heart rate over 100 BPM for 45 minutes 4-5 times a weeks. Jas is able to go to a gym so he will do that and be very aware of what he eats and drinks! He is also exploring essential oils. I am very excited for diving in to more to the essential oils world! I am totally hooked!
LAST BUT THIS IS MOST IMPORTANT…
~Marriage/Us- Because we are apart ALL THE TIME, we need to be ON PURPOSE! What that means is we have to go out of our way for each other. We can’t be casual or let things go. It’s just to easy to let it go forever and create a marriage of distance and resentment.
-Text more- something is more than nothing. An emoji smile or heart, a quick “thinking about you”. It feels good. Everyone wants that.
– Good morning/Good night call- It just has to happen. You may have to unload a full days worth of crap on each other or maybe you have nothing to say at all. If it’s FaceTime or just a call, you need a Good morning, I love you and a Good night, I love you… You need it.
-Make the most of our TIME- First we never know when it’s “our time” so make the most of the time you have, laugh more, smile more, pray more, date your spouse more, connect with friends and family more, remember yourself care more… just be happy more but also on a less earth shaking side of things… Jas is away from his family all week. He needs to connect will his kids, wife and get re-centered with the Universe again before he’s on the road again.
~Be a team- Life will be full of good and not so good times. Take care of each other through both! If you both know you’re in this journey together no matter how hard it might get, you’ll never turn in to enemies through it. And the good times will be that much sweeter! Remember you’re in together! God, each other, kids, everyone else… that’s how it goes!
~Be more carefree and less scared- This is something I am working on. I have anxiety, depression and I may have a bit of OCD. This can make me a tough person to live with. I am acknowledging this and tackling this struggle of mine head on. Because I want to be carefree. I want to be outgoing. I want to smile, laugh…. I mean really laugh! I want a body that doesn’t hurt and isn’t painfully sleepy! So I am working hard on being less scared of the world and of people and more carefree. I am trusting the Universe, my God has my back.
**you can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the end. C.S Lewis