Fasting for Peace

I am giving up. In that giving up, I have gained more than I ever thought I would. I want to be clear that I am still in the trenches of my giving-up stages. I am not “all better’ now. However, by letting go of the strongholds, I am emptying myself of the sickness clouding my mind and hurting my heart.

This giving up that I am talking about is fasting in prayer. Specifically, I have stopped my social media. I am currently off FB, IG, and all the other “junky” ones.

I found myself robotically drowning in the reels, and what I was seeing was really upsetting me. This world is hurting. So much pain, so much darkness, confusion, and despair. Evil was in plain sight, and it was making me sick. I was sick of living in this world with such rotten people and their righteous ways of ignorance.

I felt helpless to live among them. Which made me realize I was being righteous as well. I needed to escape this sick world called social media and doom-scrolling! It was poisoning my soul.

It happened after some deep thought and prayer for days asking God to direct me to peace and back to joy. I knew I was lost… going in a bad, dangerous even direction! I saw that Matthew 17:21 is NOT in most Bibles, and I had to find out why!

My Google search…

I did some deep diving! I’m sure there is more to find out about this, and if any of you can share more on this topic, please 🙏 let me know!

Either way, I was shocked and told my husband to get all the Bibles and check them! I needed to find out why!

I believe, without a doubt, this is the answer to all troubles we have in life!

I knew at that moment I needed to fast! I had already been praying every second! My prayers led me to this missing verse in the Bible, and I was grateful.

I know very little about fasting other than dietary. They go without food or even drink for a period of time to cleanse themselves. Some people do this for religious reasons, sometimes simply for weight loss.

During the Lent season, many Christians give up something or fast. It could be social media, soda, caffeine (I would never), or meat. Some people will not eat red meat on Fridays or not eat food at all during certain times of the day.

But others choose to add things rather than give up anything. Adding a study group, Bible study, devotional, or spiritual practice to their life to gain a closer connection to God. Which is what I chose to do.

This is what lead me to discover Matthew 17:21!

If I’m being honest, I’ve been feeling very depressed for months now. A sadness has fallen over me. My spirit has hurt, and I have desperately sought a way out.

I decided to remove social media because I seem to go to it without knowing I am. I feel achy physically in my neck, arms, and shoulders from it, and obviously, my spirit is unhappy. I have no peace. I will never find it inside my flippin phone… not on FB or IG! I know that, but you’d think I worship them with how easily I turn my attention their way! It’s disgusting.

I’m sure I miss important information, conversations, interactions, and moments with people I know and love all to drown in the reels of social media. Gross!

Not to mention my purpose. I neglect my God-given purpose to have my soul sucked out on social networks. I love to read. Read an actual book with real pages! But I haven’t read in some time because I’m lost in lies! I had trouble writing because I lacked time and inspiration. I’m depressed and angry all the time. I don’t see God where I used to.

However, I felt lighter in the first 24 hours of removing social media from my phone and computer. I noticed my spiritual connection awakened in places I haven’t in a long time. What was numb and lifeless began to feel like spring. A tiny bud of hope and love was sprouting in my soul. My outlook was changing, and where I only saw darkness, I now could see rays of light.

I’ve always been one of the 99. One of the lost, Jesus keeps looking for. Maybe I am always annoyingly lost in my mind, but to Jesus, I’m His child that He would never stop looking for. Never.

I guess in this sense, I’m thankful for my brokenness. The part of me; that just can’t seem to “get it together” could be a blessing. Always fighting in areas of love, approval, and just wanting to be safe… it’s what keeps me seeking God’s love and wanting to know more and more.

My brokenness sometimes feels like a curse, but it is my greatest gift. It’s a beacon of hope in a dark, brutal world. It’s how I find Him, and He keeps hold of me.

Accepting that my flaws have flaws, perfection is never the goal! I’m staying away from the places I should not be; it will bring me close to where and who I should be close to. That is ALL I need to know.

With all this said, I’m thankful for this clarity, as awkward and painful as it was to get to this point to find it. I’m still figuring it all out, and I will always be figuring it out. I guess that’s the beauty of it all.

xoxo 🤍SK

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