Gains With Big Loss

February 2021…

It all started for me! My weight loss journey, my get back on your feet without pain and back to the person that I have so been missing.

I have been through a number of doctors and programs over the last 5 years, but this was different for me. Two huge things changed for me. I want to share that with y’all now.

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My counselor would tell me all the time how important it is for me to except the situation I am in. If I don’t want to except it than I need to do something to change it. For me, it went a little like this…

I did in fact have trauma in my life. This was and still is a factor in how I take care of myself physically. I never realized how my mental health and physicals health went hand in hand, but it absolutely does.

As I healed myself mentally, worked on forgiveness, connected spiritually, and started to work with a life-coach weekly to get myself moving forward, everything about myself, my whole spirit started to lighten up.

Healing my relationships, my marriage, getting things on track with my kids and simply putting myself first without guilt or shame. I started to learn that taking care of myself was allowing me to be a better wife and mother. Two jobs that I hold very high.

All this transformation didn’t happen over night. It took years, and I still need reminding not to walk down that side of street. But a skill that I have learned over the years, as hard as it is at times, is that I do have a choice when it comes to my thoughts, which can control my emotions. Most people…me included, tend to let their emotions control their thoughts, or even allow “lies”, negative thoughts stir up emotions in us that might cause us to react in away that doesn’t serve us, or the people around us in a productive or kind way. This is so unnecessary when we have to ability of self-control.

Call It Out

When you call out the lie for what it is, depression, anxiety, fear, boredom, it’s easier to highlight that this this is NOT you! It’s the lie. Once identified, or called out, you then can reclaim your power and do what you need to, to change things.

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Being someone that has battled depression for years, using this tool of calling out the lie by name…..I stop what I’m doing. I notice that I’m frustrated too easily, yet no ones is doing anything to me for me to be feeling this way. I’ll be overheated, when it’s not hot. My emotions are all over the place, sad to angry, crying and distant, but I’ll have no real reason to be this way.

When I can be honest with myself and see the signs, I can say it out loud… THIS IS YOU, ___________. NOT ME.

It changes everything. I still need to relieve the strain, so maybe it’s a mommy time out, going for a walk, getting a nap, taking a shower. Perhaps, I need to read my devotions, my Bible or the notes from my Bible Study sessions. Sometimes, it’s watching a funny show or talking to a close friend. We all have to find that thing that will set us free from lie and change the negative course that we’re on.

It might take a couple tries to find what works for you, but what’s really important is that you are able to distinguish YOU from the LIE.

The Program

I have a fair amount of knowledge under my belt when it comes to weight loss, weight maintenance, nutrition, and basic fitness. Partly due from what I’ve already been through the last 5 years, but also because of my Dad. He raised me to workout regular, daily, and we both did! He kept me very active in sports and took me to the gym, along with working out with me just about every single day from middle school on.

In elementary school he had me and my sister working out in the house. Walking back and forth doing lunges, and squats. He taught us how to throw a good punch and kick correctly. So, being healthy and eating right are not new ideas to me. I’m so thankful for the knowledge he gave us and the time he gave.

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Starting last November 2020, I began working with a nutritionist and a Endocrinologist. It was found that I have hypothyroidism, but at the time that doctor in NJ, choose not to anything about it. Don’t ask me why. But what was found was that my hormones were super wacky… this is not the medical term.

No matter what I did, how hard I worked out, or what I ate or didn’t eat… I was gaining weight fast, and feeling bad! This was super disheartening. My body was hurting, my feet were killing me. I was feeling super hopeless. Even those I was doing the right things and my mental health was on the right track, I still felt stuck. Helpless and so discourage.

The doctors weren’t the most helpful in New Jersey, I was there for one year and I didn’t get to far but it was a step in the right direction. I ended up speaking with a few different professional about, weight loss, hormones, and the corrections needed due to my past surgery. I knew the steps that I needed to take but it went on hold when we got the call we were moving again.

In Texas, I got to work fast! I got a primary care Doc right away! Within weeks she had me on Thyroid meds and sent out referrals all over the place! She sent me to a specialist for ankles and feet, and it’s now been 5 months getting shots in my heels. I got to see all the crazy damage from being on my feet so much! Healing my feet allowed me to get moving again without pain, and this was a major blessing! I have to say that I haven’t needed another shot in a month! I was getting them every 2 weeks before. My flexibility is amazing now, and that’s helped my feet so much!

I started working with a medical weight loss Doctor and he put together a team of professionals, that not only guided me with personal workouts, and nutrition that fits me personally, but also we made a plan to fixing my hormones that were stuck in enteral survivor mode. My hormones were what were really holding me back! I’ve learned so much. And it’s made all difference.

My Ghrelin was moved up to 85%-90%

March 2021

I started the program and it was no joking matter. Very intense and I was all in! I drank Premier Proteins shakes everyday for breakfast and lunch. I couldn’t finish more than one shake a day, so I would put some in my coffee and stopped using regular coffee creamer. Dinner I would only eat a small portion of protein and a veggie. I was able to pick up my workouts and walk a ton more because my feet weren’t killing me anymore.

By March 20 I had lost 10 pounds! Still, my surgeon made it clear to me, that if my hormones weren’t attacking my body I would had lost twice as much. The last two weeks of March I ate even less. Only shakes, water and hard boiled eggs with a veggie for dinner.

The first weeks into April I stopped eating food. I now was only drinking protein shakes, water and working out. That’s all.

April 2021

Surgery day! I had the hormones that were stuck in save me mode, removed from my gut…85% of it was gone. I’m now 8 weeks out and feeling really good. But this has been no walk in the park either. I’ve had to go into IV clinics to get fluids two times, because I can’t get fluids down the way I did before. Dehydration happens really easily to me now and is a content battle. Although, I was great about preparing myself for the smaller portions, I still am learning how to eat slowly, take my time and get that protein in everyday, above all else.

My stamina is slowly coming back as I get stronger and stronger, and heal from surgery. However, there are days that I feel weak and I need to allow myself the grace to rest. Listening to my body is a skill that I haven’t been good at in the past, but I make it a priority now. If I need to rest, I do. Our bodies tells us just what we need if we listen.

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Taking vitamins and mineral is very important to keep me functioning at my best! So this a great new trade off from all the medications that I once was on. Now, I only take my migraine and thyroid medication, everything else is totally gone! The trick is to find the right vitamins and minerals for you, and space them out correctly throughout the day. I’m still working on this but, so prefer this over the loads of medications I once was on!

Weight Loss

I was weighting myself weekly, every Monday. It was incredible the different that I was seeing right away! The first week post-op, I had lost 9 pounds, the second, 8 pounds. Every week was a massive loss, which was huge gains for me. All I was doing was walking daily, eating exactly what the doctor told me to… maybe less, and staying far… FAR away from sugar. Most all these things, I was doing before but with my hormone still in my body wreaking shop. Having it removed made all the difference for me now.

I am now 8 weeks post-op and many things have changed for me. I weight myself every other week, am able to eat solid food now and make really healthy good choices for myself without stress. It can be hard when you have people in your life who don’t want to live a more healthy lifestyle, but if YOU really want it for yourself, then YOU will find ways to make it work. It just takes time and a ton of patience.

I have lost a totally of 42.5 pounds so far, and will weight again this coming Monday (keep y’all posted). I know from looking at my pictures, I’m not an overweigh person and I hide my weight well. I didn’t grow up with weight issues or have an issues with over eating or being emotional eater. All I have to say to that is, we are all different and our bodies all carried weight differently. What might be healthy or unhealthy for one person, is completely different for another.

There were for sure changes I needed to make in my diet and workout routine. I think this is only natural when you get older. But the big thing for me was connecting my mental and physically health. Also, and there’s just no way around this… find the RIGHT doctors.

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I am not a tall person, I stretch to reach 5’4… I’m closer to 5’3. I’ve been lying for years! But one thing I have on my side is my muscle tone! My early years of strength training has really served me well now. So, maybe I don’t look I need to still loss another 40 pounds but that only because my amazing muscle tone is saving me what all the fat the hiding in other places.

I’m basically half way to meeting my weight loss goal, but this is a journey I will always be on. A health journey. Healthy, just like our thoughts, is a choice we get to make. I have to remember that!

I am choosing to be healthy by putting good things in my body to fuel me. I am making my body stronger when I workout, and my mind stronger and more joyful by feeding myself with knowledge, love, kindness and truth! By doing all these things l will live better, healthier, have less physical pain. And a bonus I will be able overcome hardships when they arise, and still be grateful.

Because carrying around extra weight is painful. It made me sick, depressed and frustrated. My spirit was damaged, my mind foggy, and confused. When you’re not well, you’re easily frustrated and overwhelmed by the slightest things. It’s hard to enjoy life at all.

I’m beyond thankful for these changes in my life, both physically and mental. I see the awaken more and more every single day, and give all the thanks to God. He has been so patience with me, when I wasn’t always. But I have learned, especially as I keep changing and growing.

My body, both outside and inside is changing, I have to be award of that. This means, I need to allow myself some grace, some truth and love, by pushing myself when needed, kindness and patience. This process is hard, it’s painful and it messes with your head. People around me sometimes can be cruel. But that doesn’t change my focus, it might make it harder sometimes but it won’t stop me.

When I get brave enough I may… or may not… LOL share some before and after picture but it might be a good year before that happens.

Just know I’m happy, health and living well.


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