I have been told that I’m different. It’s true, I am.
Some people love the new me. They didn’t know me before this blog or had only gotten to know me in the last 4 years, so I seem like a brand new person. But really, I’m not.
Being a bit feisty, sassy, sarcastic, hopefully, positive, but realistic…that’s always been me. Happy, sensitive, strong, and a bit mouthy…yep…that’s me. Caring, kind, loving, faithful, powerful, a boat rocker, and truth teller….still me. Protective, understanding, involved, loyal, deceives, creative, bright, cozy, animal lover… never left the building. Funny, goofy, a foodie, documentary lover, ghost hunter, friend to all, but “your person” to a very small few. That is ALL me.
Nowhere in that brief list, did you read, scared, shy, needy, unwanted, insecure, depressed, anxious, toad. Nope.
Have I been those things a time or two? I have. Sad, angry, and beyond scared, super irritable? I’ve been there. Sure, I’ve felt those things, but at my very being, the very fabric that makes me…I am not any of those things. I’m just a person…a get annoyed, or sad sometimes…but I’m not a sad, or annoyed person.
I’ve heard from some of you, who first met me at my most depressed, and you’ve said, “I’m so different, and you’re so happy for me.” That, I’m so positive, encouraging, inspirational, and hopeful. I’m so glad that my writing is showing that. It makes me happy that you all are getting good vibes from what I’m putting out there. I’m happy you see the change, but I’m more excited that you now, get to know the real me.
There are people in my life who knew me before my deep sadness, my overwhelmed depression. There’s people in my life who knew me at my strongest, my most positive, They know the outspoken, still super quite girl, that I am. And some of those people actually would prefer the other Skelly…yep…you read that right. That sad, lonely, needy, insecure girl was much easier to control, and manipulate, I think.
Just one question. Why when a women is strong, standing up, voicing her thoughts, interjecting her self into anything at all, protective of her goals…she’s seen as being a bitch?
I’m not a feminist, so don’t worry…I shave, I love cooking and cleaning for my family, and it doesn’t make me feel controlled or abused in anyway servicing my family. However, doing their laundry does feel a bit abusive to me at times…
I ask this, because the people who have a problem with my strength, my growth, my quick wittiness …it feels like an attack on who I am. Why was it okay to have me weak and broken? But now, it’s not okay to have me in my own strength again? I’m just perplexed a bit on this one?
I’d like to induce myself. I’m a human women….I have thoughts, and feelings. I am goal-oriented, have big dreams and apparitions. My morals, values and faith are at the core of everything I do, but I will mess up from time to time. As I stated at the top, I am a human….mistakes will be made. I enjoy my own company, and I find myself to be damn funny, but if I can makes other laugh, that ‘s a plus! I’m a huge coffee lover, but love my Savior even more! I am currently on a mission to raise good humans! Being a mom and wife are some of the most important titles that I have ever had, but it’s not my only love, or job. It’s just the only job that I’ve had that I get literally get no days off from. I plan to be rich in love, joy, and recuse dogs. This blog is a place that I share my thoughts, my feelings, my days, my life, stories, poems, and whatever else comes to my mind!
I’m so happy to meet you!