You’re Different??

Nice to meet you…

25 comments

I have been told that I’m different. It’s true, I am.

Some people love the new me. They didn’t know me before this blog or had only gotten to know me in the last 4 years, so I seem like a brand new person. But really, I’m not.

Being a bit feisty, sassy, sarcastic, hopefully, positive, but realistic…that’s always been me. Happy, sensitive, strong, and a bit mouthy…yep…that’s me. Caring, kind, loving, faithful, powerful, a boat rocker, and truth teller….still me. Protective, understanding, involved, loyal, deceives, creative, bright, cozy, animal lover… never left the building. Funny, goofy, a foodie, documentary lover, ghost hunter, friend to all, but “your person” to a very small few. That is ALL me.

Nowhere in that brief list, did you read, scared, shy, needy, unwanted, insecure, depressed, anxious, toad. Nope.

Have I been those things a time or two? I have. Sad, angry, and beyond scared, super irritable? I’ve been there. Sure, I’ve felt those things, but at my very being, the very fabric that makes me…I am not any of those things. I’m just a person…a get annoyed, or sad sometimes…but I’m not a sad, or annoyed person.

I’ve heard from some of you, who first met me at my most depressed, and you’ve said, “I’m so different, and you’re so happy for me.” That, I’m so positive, encouraging, inspirational, and hopeful. I’m so glad that my writing is showing that. It makes me happy that you all are getting good vibes from what I’m putting out there. I’m happy you see the change, but I’m more excited that you now, get to know the real me.

There are people in my life who knew me before my deep sadness, my overwhelmed depression. There’s people in my life who knew me at my strongest, my most positive, They know the outspoken, still super quite girl, that I am. And some of those people actually would prefer the other Skelly…yep…you read that right. That sad, lonely, needy, insecure girl was much easier to control, and manipulate, I think.

Just one question. Why when a women is strong, standing up, voicing her thoughts, interjecting her self into anything at all, protective of her goals…she’s seen as being a bitch?

I’m not a feminist, so don’t worry…I shave, I love cooking and cleaning for my family, and it doesn’t make me feel controlled or abused in anyway servicing my family. However, doing their laundry does feel a bit abusive to me at times…

I ask this, because the people who have a problem with my strength, my growth, my quick wittiness …it feels like an attack on who I am. Why was it okay to have me weak and broken? But now, it’s not okay to have me in my own strength again? I’m just perplexed a bit on this one?

Anyway-

I’d like to induce myself. I’m a human women….I have thoughts, and feelings. I am goal-oriented, have big dreams and apparitions. My morals, values and faith are at the core of everything I do, but I will mess up from time to time. As I stated at the top, I am a human….mistakes will be made. I enjoy my own company, and I find myself to be damn funny, but if I can makes other laugh, that ‘s a plus! I’m a huge coffee lover, but love my Savior even more! I am currently on a mission to raise good humans! Being a mom and wife are some of the most important titles that I have ever had, but it’s not my only love, or job. It’s just the only job that I’ve had that I get literally get no days off from. I plan to be rich in love, joy, and recuse dogs. This blog is a place that I share my thoughts, my feelings, my days, my life, stories, poems, and whatever else comes to my mind!

I’m so happy to meet you!

sk

25 comments on “You’re Different??”

  1. “scared, shy, needy, unwanted, insecure, depressed, anxious,”

    We’ve traded places… lol!

    But I’m beyond ecstatic you’re back! That smile is real!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ve been needy before, to my husband. I hated it. I was so sick, both physically and mentally. I didn’t trust myself with how depressed I was. So I felt like every feeling, or thought I had was my depression. It was a nightmare. I needed him basically to think for me. It’s a weird feeling to desperately need someone, and feel so suffocated and hated by that some person. It was a hard time for both of us. We both were in a bad place back then. Personal, and together…it was terrible. It was like being saved, having my freedom restored, my sight coming back, when I could just think clearly again. I think it was good for both of us. So ya, I know needy. I hated it. I never want to be that person ever again.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I think needy is wanting someone around all the time.

        Whiny… that’s typical of women 😏

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      1. Thank you 🙂 I go back to work tomorrow after being off for an extended time for mental health reasons. I’m a little nervous about that, everything that I’ve learned recently might go by the wayside once I’m back to being overwhelmed with 10-12 hour days and nothing to look forward to, but I made a list of specific coping strategies I can use for work situations, so hopefully that’ll be a start.

        Also, if I may ask, is that really your picture at the top of this post?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Ha! Yes, that is really me. My hair is a bit shorter now, but it’s me. Have you talked to a life coach or counselor? It might make a huge difference. Just getting out of your house, having a place to go everyday, it’s a good thing. Find the sliver lining. Good luck! I think it’ll be great for ya!

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      3. It’s a great picture. I know I shouldn’t be saying that, since you’re married and I have a significant other, but I just felt like saying it anyway. I hope that doesn’t come across as creepy. (And if my special someone should happen to see this comment, I think she’s beautiful too.)

        Seriously, though, I got back in touch with my old therapist recently after an incident in December, but she’s too busy to see me more than once every 6-8 weeks, which is why I stopped going in the first place, and everyone else in my network is like that too. She’s been referring me to a lot of group sessions, though, including this one that I had to take off work for.

        I’m mostly working from home, so I’m not really getting out of the house. (I should qualify that statement more, but that would require giving away what kind of work I do, which I haven’t done on WordPress so as not to give away spoilers. If you want to know more about my work, you can email me privately.) I think what’s been hardest for me is that I live alone, and COVID shut down my entire social life, the promise of which is what got me through those long weeks. I hardly ever see my friends anymore, and I have yet to see the aforementioned significant other in 2021 face-to-face. And I was coming off of a really difficult 2019 when everything happened. The biggest thing I’ve learned about that specifically is to focus on what I can do instead of on what I’ve lost, but there really isn’t much, at least not much that is as satisfying as all the things I used to do.

        But on the bright side, I’ve kept up with my writing since I don’t have much else to do on the weekends, and I’ve made a lot of new friends here on WordPress.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Thanks for the compliment. It’s okay…LOL
        Have you heard of Talk space therapy or Betterhealth.com? It’s a fee $$ to use this platform for help, but it’s still cheaper then in-person, and it’s super convenient. Your therapist/counselor is right at your fingertips. You can text, or FaceTime. I sound like an infomercial, but really it’s awesome. You can have scheduled visit online, but also if something comes up you can text and get help right then. I am not using this right now, but I am using something like it, through my husband’s company. I’m super fortunate to have the help I do. My Life Coach, Counselor, and now, Health Coach, are my saving grace. They have really saved me.
        Writing helps me too, and a few close friend I’ve made. I can see writing helps you too. Hopeful you keep time for your writing. You have a gift!
        Also you got me curious what your work is??? mmm??
        Well, I’m sorry you’ve had one hard year, after the next. I know how that goes. It sucks. But it can’t last forever. I’m proof of that!

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      5. I don’t remember if I’ve heard of that, but someone else told me about something like that. I’ll wait a few months and see how everything I’ve been doing works out. Thanks for the suggestion. 🙂

        I went to a Math Club meeting in approximately January or February 1997 where they had career presenters. That set off a long process of realizing that I needed to figure out what I wanted to do with my mathematics degree. Gabby Thomas and another professor whom I haven’t introduced in the story yet both had suggestions for me to explore, which affected my schedules for the spring and summer of 1997 and eventually the course of my life. If you can’t wait until I get to that part of the story, you can contact me privately. (gregoryjdennison at gmail)

        I keep trying to tell myself that this will pass. I just have to focus on what I do have and can do, like I said, although that’s difficult sometimes.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. So, I’ve decided to go. I mean, this blog doesn’t even work. So there’s no point in posting.

    When/if the Lord directs me back in this direction, I’ll return. And try not to before.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You seem to be doing well. And you’re moving on. And I feel like my time has come to either go or regroup.

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