Why am I having trouble right now? I hate the way my body feels and looks! It’s making things near impossible for me to take care of hundreds of things that I have my plate right now.
I’m hot. What I mean by that is, I’m dying of heat stroke! Every since my hysterectomy my hormones are whacked out! Nothing seems to work to get them on “the right track”.
My weight is out of control! I have done every workout, weight loss program in site! I’m working with a Nutritionist and starting a weight loss program through my insurance company. It’s called Omada. But the fat suit hasn’t budged!
I know what to eat and how to eat. I workout, do yoga, meditation and still I am beyond uncomfortable in my body! It’s so frustrating!
I cannot regulate my body temperature at all. I have a terrible headache multiple times a week! My feet ache and that pain shoots up my legs. My chest and back burn from the inside out! Not to mention my bladder is being a real bitch!
You see, being active and motivated is not the problem for me. I’m not an emotional eater. I enjoy the outdoors and want to going on long walks, hike and even lift weights but this body is holding me back.
Plain and simple this body does not match the way I feel inside. Not at all.
Now that we are hitting the road again, I need to get with it! Snap out of this painful funk and get going! However, my body is fighting against me.
Anything and everything that I do, I’ll start over heating. I don’t mean that I’m winded or just a little warmer. No, I am dripping with sweat. I’m on fire! My face goes white but my cheeks are fire red. Nothing is comfortable anymore. I’m burning up!
This happens anytime that I move my body. I’m trying to deal with stressful emails or phone calls… I’m on fire!
I’m cleaning the house and picking up after these sloppy children! I’m on fire.
Cooking dinner, putting away things… I’m. On. Fire!
This is beyond inconvenient! Currently, I need to be on the move all hours of the day, preparing for this move but I’m struggling.
Here’s where all this life stuff combines with my annoying body and I lose it.
My panic attacks…
I start to get even hotter. My hearing and vision goes in and out and my body becomes tingly. It becomes very difficult to control my breathing. Next thing you know, I’m throwing up and then passing out.
Let me not forget the tears. Yes, I’m so frustrated and feel so overwhelmingly hot that I burst into a very ugly cry.
This is not the time for this. I can’t deal with a jacked up body and nasty uncontrollable hormones. I have to coordinate a huge more! I’m required to not suck right now.
What would help me?
Getting my surgery before I leave this state. Having a plan in place for all the many things that are going on around me. I feel scattered.
Keeping this house as clean and organized as possible. That’s going to take everyone, I live with. Clean up after yourself! We don’t have time or room for anyone’s lazy clutter.
I need everyone to be patient and flexible. I can’t do guilt or demands from anyone. I need people to understand that I’m doing my best and I’m at the mercy of Jason’s company.
Please! For the love of God… I need my family to start being a little… a lot more self motivated, discipline, and independent! Find some coping skills!
I’m only one person! A broken, over heated person at that! I need everyone to be much better at being self motivated and good stewards for each other.
It won’t be hard to take better care of this house and each other if everyone is doing it. We need to be better so I can be better.
Moves are hard no matter what. But they are extremely exhausting, frustrating, difficult and scary when you’re a broken messy person…me