Treated Like a Child| Doctors Just Don’t Listen

I have been reading many blogs about health lately. There’s many of us who have really been going through it since at least March. It’s no secret that 2020 has taken it’s toll on all of us one way or another.

For most of us, it’s the mental and emotional toll but not just that, some of us have noticed a physical change as well. Those pounds have been packing on over last few months of quarantine.

This has cause some people to start looking into their health more and trying make some needed improvements! More walks, meditation and calorie counting are all big ones! I for one can relate in all areas. However, my health troubles didn’t start in March of 2020, they started 3 in half years ago and they just keep truckin along, no end in sight.

My counselor has reminded me that the health care system is turned upside down and the chance of it getting any better anytime soon is unlikely. So I am forced like many to take matters into my owns hands.

What can I do? Well before I get into that, maybe I should update you all on what has and is currently going on. It’s kind of a lot…

As a person who moves often, it’s been hard to establish good, consistent health care. This is my fault but the mystery in my body isn’t. When I moved to New Jersey I knew I had to get establish and work on my life ASAP.

I did what I normally do when we move to any new place, I get my family a doc before I get one for myself. This normally isn’t a problem but we normal aren’t in lockdown due to a massive pandemic either. So… getting a doctor was really rough for me. It was almost July before I got a doctor and we moved here, to South Jersey in January. I went all that time without my meds or any guidance at all from a doctor. Not good.

Finally, I got to see a doctor on a Tele visit mid July. He seemed okay at first, wanted me to get a ton of blood work and got my meds going again. He also put me on some new meds…at an incredibly high dose, I might add. I felt drunk and plain stupid all the time from them. At one point, I was unable to go up and down my stairs because I was falling all the time.

He finally took me off of that (thank goodness) and now I was back to just living in pain and gaining a massive amount of weight super fast. He sent me to a few specialist that were all Tele Visits.

My first one was with a Neurologist. For you who don’t know, I have suffered from Migraine induced seizures since 2013. I had been on a middle of the road does of medication for 7 years. It did help at first but over the last year it really had stopped. This new Neurologist wasn’t sure I should stay on that medicine because I also had started to get kidney stones…which are the damn worse! I guess seeing that, that medication (Topamax) is processed through the kidneys, it makes since.

However, I was so scared to go on another medication after all the terrible side effects that I just went through. Plus he wanted me on a blood pressure medication. My blood pressure has always been very slow so this scared me but he didn’t seem to cared because he is the Doctor and I’m just a nobody. I refused the medication and never took it.

My primary doctor had basically decided that since I wasn’t complying with the specialist he was going to ignore me now. He stopped responding to my messages and I was just being treated like a punished child.

I decided to get a new primary and start the process all over. But during this time my body was still a mess, actually getting much worse. My weight was getting higher and higher, terrible headaches and muscle spasms. My hip/abdomen was ten times worse then it was before. The only thing that had changed was I was more in debt from all these test and specialist that did nothing for me.

The good thing about the new doctor I found, was I could go into an actual office. I met with her and I liked her right away. She hooked me up with a new Obgyn, an Endocrinologist and I was on my way it seemed.

I went to my new Obgyn and she was awesome. I felt like I was working along side this doctor as part of my own health team. She has been great in everyway. Her communication with me is top notch and the real reason why I feel helped. When something wasn’t working, she’d get right back to me and we’d problem solve it together and try something else. She has never made me feel like I’m annoying to her or a complaining child. I really value and trust her because of this.

My new Obgyn decided that I needed a bit more specialized help and sent me to a Pelvic Female Specialist. I also felt heard and understood by this doctor. She has been awesome to me and very caring. She’s helped me with the fact that I may never have needed a hysterectomy, which is a sharp pill to swallow because there’s no going back now. She’s been there to help with other things that aren’t even in her wheel house, which I’ll get in to later. I love her and her nurse. They are both great!

My visit with my Pelvic Female Specialist got me landed right into Physical Therapy. Pelvic Floor Therapy to be exact. It’s weird at times and different but again my Physical Therapist has been gentle, understanding and I believe that she really wants me to get better. I’m not just a number to her. I haven’t had any big health changes but I’ve been sticking with it.

Every week I go to my Physical Therapy and do what I need to do. I’m sent home with 2-3 new exercises to start working on at home. I always do them! But still I’m about the same as I was before I started these process and that sucks. I’d love for once to see results! I’m trying so hard.

It was time for me to go to the Endocrinologist. My thyroid has been checked 3 times. It was high … meaning a slow or sluggish thyroid. I was told to take it again and it was about 3 points lower…meaning it’s still high but in their normal range…so I took it again a few weeks later and it went up 2 points. So I’m now even higher but not out of a doctors normal range. So yes, I have a slow/sluggish thyroid but not bad enough for a doctor do help me with it.

This is super annoying. I felt like this visit was a waste of time for me. There’s obviously stuff that needs attention but no actual care is given. Is it weird to not want to be in a high or low range but to be right in the middle, where I should be? Why do doctors do this?

After that I took a cortisol test through a 24 hour urine test collection (not pleasant) and the results? The same…I’m out of wack but not so out of wack that the doc feels like she wants to do anything about it! I’m gaining weight like crazy and still don’t know why!

I message and call the Endo doctor and at the end of it all, nothing. It’s not in my control. They will do and not do whatever they want to because who am I? Just a nobody that’s annoying her with my needs.

Now, you can’t forget during all this I am also seeing and working closely with a Nutritionist. The first month I was on 1,400 calories a day and the next month, after no results I was on 1,200 a day, along with working out 3-4 and now 5 days a week. Guess what, I’ve not lost a single pound and I’m so sleepy all the time. I’ve had the worse headaches and I can’t sleep at all when I should be. But still nothing… I just pay my copayment and sit there and hear my doctor replay our last visit.

My Nutritionist tells me that I really need to ask my primary to get me a Neurologist to help my headaches. So I send a message to my primary doctor and in a couple days she sent me a liner…Okay, not to many directions here but I call the number and try to make an appointment.

It was over 5 attempts getting into this new Neuro place. I finally get an appointment from some super rude chick. I let it go because I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. Over a month later I go to my appointment and it was the most anxiety that I’ve ever felt in a doctors office ever.

Every person there, office staff and nurses were all dressed like they were about to go into surgery. What the actually hell! They were over the top for sure. I walked in and they locked the door behind, I was taken away as if I had a flesh eating disease. The doctor finally walked in and we sat a mile away from each other with our mask on. I for the first time in my life had high blood pressure. This place was the worse. and totally to blame!

They took my blood several times as I tried to breath and calm myself down…finally it was normal again but not my normal. The doctor says hi to me and then asked me why I left my last Neruologist? Before I could answere and he was at me, saying that he already spoke to him, so he knows everything and that I won’t be doctor hoping anymore! Wait, what is he talking about? I thought…

This doctor knew what he was going to say to me before I even walked in to this terrible office. I knew I had just made a terrible mistake going there but I sat through it, as this new doctor would tell me that I am just depressed and need Zoloft. He said that I should be working out more and eating healthy. As if I didn’t know that already and wasn’t currently do that. He told me to stop complaining and just take the medication that he prescribed. He didn’t want to hear from me for at least 6 months. I felt total defeated and like a helpless child.

For the next few weeks I stressed about taking this medication. I’ve been on it before but I don’t think I need it. Also, I was super upset that my mental health was being blamed for a disorder that I’ve had for years. Also, I wasn’t part of my own health team with this guy. He didn’t care about me or what I had to say. It didn’t matter to him. He didn’t even want to hear form me. Plus, that office was way cringe and over the top with “guidelines” and “protocols”. I know 100% I never wanted to see or go back to that place ever again.

But that terrible doctor already told me I wasn’t going to be able to leave him. He said it would look like doctor hoping. This stressed me out but my Counselor told I wasn’t and I was only taking my health in my hands. I was in control of my health not this crazy old dude on a power trip… I added the crazy old dude part.

So the next day I sent a message on MyChart to my primary doc and told her about my bad experience and that I really didn’t feel like that doc and me were a good fit. Well, I didn’t hear from her for over a week. So I sent another massage and again a week goes by and no message. I messaged her 3 times and still to this very damn day, I have no hear from her. It’s been over a month.

I feel so helpless with these doctors…

Today my counselor told me about Functional Medicine Doctors and how they use all different methods to get to the root of your issue and not just work off of symptoms. They can treat lots of things rather in just one thing.

Today I email a doctor and he wanted my whole story…not just the symptoms. So I emailed him a long old paper of the last 3 in half years and how helpless I feel right now.

I pay for insurance, I pay my co payment and I follow what my doctors tell me. I eat what I should and I am active but currently to this very day I am in not better shape than I was 3 years ago. Like I said…I’m actually worse.

I’ve had terrible kidney stones and no respond from my doc. What does she do? What is her job really other than sending me off to someone else. My Pelvic Female Doc was more help than she ever was to me during my kidney stone episode. She offered to have me come in or take my stones to the lab, she see and help in anyway. My primary didn’t care…

what happened? I thought she okay in the beginning but when I need HER to work she dips out?

Is it wrong to want to have a say on your own health? I don’t think so. If I would have done more reach and demanded to be part of my own health team in North Dakota maybe I would still have all my parts! We should Google and get inform the best we can. Why do doctors get so upset with us for using Google?

Anyway, here I am still in need of help with my physical health. I’ve spent tons of money, time and energy but with NO results. I can only hope my email to this Functional Medicine Doctor is my answer.

But is positive news…my mental health awesome. I could not be happier. My family is doing well and school is off to a great start for the kids! We have fall sports going on and this makes me so beyond happy! Jason and I have been really great with each other and since he is my strength in many ways, this is fueling my bright outlook on life.

I don’t want any doctor blaming my pain and weight on depression because I know real depression, really well…I don’t have that. I have something going on inside my body and that fact that they are lazy, power tripping doctors out there is shameful.

I’m not just a nobody. I’m an expert on my body and mind as well. Maybe they should let me be part of my own health team. Maybe I could teach them a few things.

Above is an article that I read about How to get your doctor to listen to you and why they never do. It was really helpful for me to move on and start taking my health in my hands.

Currently I am dealing with kidney pain and terrible headaches, along with ever present weight gain. My counselor told me about Functional Medicine Doctors and how they know a lot about a lot and don’t just focus on symptoms but the root of your pain/issue. They want to know how you got to this place and will treat you in a number of different ways. They’re open minded doctors.

What is Functional Medicine…click above link.

I went ahead and emailed the Functional Medicine doctor that my counselor recommended for me to talk too. He got back to me and asked that email him again but this time explaining everything , from day one up until current. I did that yesterday and now I wait to see if he can help me all.

Last night though, I woke up with extreme kidney pain and a level 9 (pain scale 1-10). I felt so sick, completely nauseous and my neck was so tight and painful.

This has caused me to think I can’t wait around for this guy to get back to me. I need a kidney doctor now and if this Functional Medicine doc gets back to me then I can decided what to do then.

For now I rest and be thankful for my awesome family and amazing husband. He is truly my best medicine.


3 thoughts on “Treated Like a Child| Doctors Just Don’t Listen

  1. I’m sorry that you’ve had to endure so much trying to figure out how to best treat your symptoms & find a doctor that will listen to you and respect you, but I think its wonderful that you have a strong support system in your family!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I’m very blessed to have such a great husband and supportive family. I know I’m not stuck and there’s options for me. Thanks for your comment!
      By the way I am able to see your post now! For awhile I couldn’t see them at all! I’m glad I can see/read everything now. I guess it’s time for me to get caught up on all my favorite Bloggers!


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