Everyone Is Content ❤️
We are finally settled in our apartment! It’s beautiful! I drink my coffee as the early morning fog settles around the Santa Monica hills, our pups are at home in my bed as usual. The kids love all the places to walk to and the pool! This Place is nicer than any of the houses, I’ve ever lived in! We are enjoying the pool and the sunshine together but more important than that, we went to church this morning! Praise God! Only moved in on Friday and went church on Sunday!
“Trying” To Making A New Home
It’s only been a few days here and I feel like it’s only a vacation. This sunshine helps my depression 100 % and my body pain is at a 0%! The only anxiety I have felt at all was driving from LAX back to our house! Driving around here is nuts! I know I’ll have some ups and downs because that’s life and I’m only human. But so I love this community that we are in right now, the school, our church we went to today… I was moved to tears! I know with guidance from God, we will be fine. I just need to be quite long enough to hear Him!
Cleaning up and freshening up my part journey is still in full swing!
Refreshing a post that I wrote from when we first moved to California was a hard decision for me.
I didn’t want to look back on anything from California but it gives me anxiety and bring back terrible memories. I don’t want to think about the jerk of a husband I was living with. His lack of love or care. I could do without remembering the loneliness, the pure hell and torture that I felt in every part of my mind, body and soul, of nothing but sadness every single day. I don’t ever want to go there ever again. These pictures don’t show that and these words that I words, they were written before I knew what lay before me and my family.
I have no idea how broken I was about to become.
This was before the hateful, judgmental people in my life got their crawls in me. It was before all the abandonment and carelessness was thrusted upon me. Before my marriage became a marriage of one. Before the physical pain and the mental and emotional dark hole I would live in, because no one could comprehend my internal battle or the outside one for that matter.
I was serious living second to second but these picture don’t show that. These words were of a hopefully new start…something better. However, I didn’t get that at all.
I had the worse nervous break down of my life.
The only saving grace that I had was this writing community and my blog, the amazing support that I found from other bloggers. Along with some of the very best co-worker a girl could ever ask from. They made life worth waking up for. I am so beyound thank you these ladies and my fellow bloggers for their love and support because little does anyone know how close I was to end my own life in my time in California.
The things people hide behind a smile.