I thought for a moment I found a way out.
Thought the battling was reaching an end.
There for a second I wasn’t going to pretend.
Just a small glimpse of light.
Then I blinked and it was gone.
I tried my best to hold on.
Just go with the flow.
Why’s it always so loud in here?
Keep doing this for another year?
Electricity, shooting through my skull.
You ask me again, what’s wrong?
I’m me and I don’t belong.
Someday we’ll be in a place better than this.
I won’t hold my breath.
I won’t have to fight back death.
Won’t live a silent war anymore..
Won’t fight these thoughts trapped in my head.
Hear my words, feel what’s unsaid.
I can push and pull away.
I’m on the edge, it keeps me alone.
A perfect storm, only I’ve known.
My welcome home replays.
Memories swarm my mind.
Makes me reach back for a different time.
I hold on to hope like a tiny flame.
But the wind blows hard everyday.
Keep my flame lit, I pray.
Fight to make you really understand.
Sick of explaining.
I can feel every part of myself draining.
Tired of repeating this anxious routine.
Creating static in the between.
I want to you to know where I’m at.
Just want to have a place to belong.
I’m tired of being all alone.