Long Breaks Mentally Challenge Me
Spring break is one of the times we all have some expectations. Some people expect to go on some type of Vacation, be able to sleep in, relax on a beach or have some type of adventure. Maybe some people prefer to stay home and never leave the house and binge watch Netflix. Everyone has their idea of a “break”.
My expectations are different then anyone’s in my house And not appreciated at all. What I’ve decided is it just doesn’t matter what my expectations of a break is because I’m a Mom and I get NO break. Any of you feel that way?
My kids want to be busy in some type of adventure everyday. Their kids so that understandable. If my kids could choose their perfect vacation this is what I believe they would choose.
My son would want to chill with his Poppy in Colorado and go to Bass Pro Shops. He might want to go fishing or camping and take lots of long drives. He would also enjoy being taken out to eat for every single meal.
My Daughter would wants to go shopping 🛍Disneyland, make Slime, go out to eat, ride bikes, do makeup 💄 then go to Ulta and get more makeup and get sushi 🍣 but she would also enjoy everything Tristan would like too. But you would still have to include sushi!
The trouble is I can manage that for them with upset the balance in my house. I can’t make everyone happy. I wish I could. It breaks my heart ❤️ that I can’t.
All my son talks about is being back with his Poppy and going fishing. It scares me to death I won’t be able to give him that maybe ever again. (I’m getting to deep…) Grace is hard too. She is in competition with the kids in CALIFORNIA and I simply cannot keep up. I will never live up to the crazy things these parents do for their kids and that’s probably a good things. My kids may not not see it that way and that causes a battle for me as their mom.
Our Spring Break
Our spring break was about 6 day long not counting the weekend. I tried to plan something small everyday for us all to do. I just wanted to get them out of the house and to be some- what entertained. One day we went to lunch and rode bikes, another we packed a picnic 🧺 and went to the park. We even did a movie day, baked cookies 🍪 and cooked some yummy…but healthy food, on one of our rainy day. We had a day we got some face masks, got haircuts and just ran errands and went out to lunch. We had a day we cleaned the house and jammed out to music 🎶 and we earned ourselves a beach 🏝 day!
I did all I could think of that my kids would actually be into and I could afford.
We also Celebrated maybe the weirdest Easter 🐣 ever. I’m thankful we are in the neighborhood that we’re in! There are tons of kids and they invited Gigi to a little Easter egg hunt in the neighborhood.
We also got the kids a little something. Although I’m real clear to my kids what Easter is really about and it’s not about LEGOs and Slime!
My mental challenge
So here’s the struggle…
Spring break is only a week long and it kicked my butt! I was wiped out! How in the heck will I survive the summer break? I am honestly scared!
I can’t afford to take my kids on the adventure that they or I want. I also want to see my friends and my family in Colorado. It’s been a long time and we all need it but that only covers some of the time. Also I need time to myself…mentally and emotionally… man I need it!
Selfish, you may think but my brain can’t handle the 24/7 Constant going…going without a timeout… brain-break! I get overwhelmed and in a shit mood… I’m sorry… there’s the truth Ruth!
So knowing we’re going to be trapped in this tiny ass house for months…. I can feel myself hyperventilating already.
Jason, says to look at it differently and be outside more. We do live in California after all! Trust me when I say that I love being outdoors! I do most all my blogging outside! I got a job that requires me to be outside 100% of the time! I do most all my workouts outdoors! I enjoy the sunshine, breeze, observing the world around and who doesn’t enjoy a little people watching!
Here’s the issue…
Trouble is… our backyard although beautiful in many ways is uncomfortable and crowded. The front sitting area is totally uninvited and your waiting for a bug 🕷 to fall in you. It’s unorganized and messy. The garage which at one point was a “get away” for Jason and I has become the kids zone and home to extra crap! I need people to take our extra junk and give it a new home… please!
We don’t have any place that is ours or a place that makes us feel comfortable. I’ve worked really hard on the inside of this little house and it took so much (unnoticeable effort and ) very noticeable money to make it happen! I’m worn-out with this place! It still doesn’t work.
Side Note 📝 Did I mention our master bedroom floors and wall are getting ripped up… flooding and it smells! We have bugs all the time!
Anyway… I digress. The point I’m trying to make is as much as we love our neighbors and this area, the kids and I hate our house. We don’t have a home.
We don’t feel comfortable here! I can’t imagine staying in this tiny place long term. With all the effort I have put in to this place (and little help) it just wears me out to think of trying to put more time and money into a house that isn’t ours and we don’t even really like.
Its annoying to feel like you’re suffocating all the time. In our house that’s how it feels. We get on each other’s nerves too easily because we are on top on each other. We don’t want a summer like this. We already live this way daily!
Move? Okay that’s not going happen and it’s been made Crystal clear to me. I have very few options but at least for the summer break I’m thinking we might head to Colorado and take a break there.
I’ll keep y’all updated on that…