What’s the heck am I doing here?
Well that’s a good question. I’m not sure I really know the answer ( that’s a BIG question) but I can narrow down the question itself.
For in my life I truly have not a clue from day to day what the heck I’m doing most the time. I’m just winging it like everyone else! I’m trying to do my best each day; for my kids, my husband, my home, co-workers, friends, family and most importantly, me!
In regards to this specific question; what the heck am doing? I mean, what is this Blog/ vlog business all about? One would think it would be simple to answer but I found as I tried to explain… it was so complicated.
Now why was that? Well first, I think it’s because I started this blog simply as fabricthatmademe, a blog to Journal out loud and share with a community of other amazing writers. I was in a new place for the first time and all alone. My blog was a place for me to process my feelings and get feed back, advice and growth. But over time I found myself telling the same story over and over. I was living in a fish bowl and it sucked!
But the good part of having a blog like that was I did have a place to connect to other bloggers, release my tension through writing, which I enjoyed and that helped me so much to ease my anxiety and depression. But as I said, it was becoming unhealthy for me to repeat the same issues over and over.
Since I’ve changed my website now to The Traveling House of Hearts ♥️/ fabricthatmademe, I try not to live in that place so much and keep from swirling in that same madness repeatedly. (You get it💁🏻♀️)
I just don’t have my outlet anymore. I miss it sometimes.
As I was trying to find an explanation for this amazing 😉 blog/vlog, I found myself talking about what was once a journey of weekly events in the life of a neurotic, sarcastic and overly emotional… yet very plain girl… me. Now I find myself wanting something more…
I just want to be able to do a random makeup blog with a short video about how I got my makeup 💄 done for the first time ever with products I’ve never heard of. Then I freaked out the makeup artist out when I told her I used Carmex for my lip care routine! I’m like a tomboy meets Sephora! By the way I don’t do that anymore! It’s super awkward but I enjoy it.
My almost 14 year old son and I really want to start our own channel and it would be complete comedy, reacting to all these crazy Tik Tok clips or other things we find on the internet! I’d love to share that on my blog as well!
Sometimes I want might to write poetry. Maybe that’s all I’ll do for months on my blogs. I even thought about sharing the letters back and forth from my Grandma and I as she transitions to assistants living. It’s been a journey and my sister has been through so much being part that too. I want to share all of that!
I have all these random ideas 💡 that I want share but do they fit my explanation of what my Blog is Titled now? No… not really. I don’t want to be in a box but I don’t want to be liked. Is that bad?
So maybe I’m still finding my way. Maybe I’ll always be a little lost for awhile. Who knows?
Honestly, I do enjoy 😊 sharing our travels and places we get to experience and I want to continue to do that. It is an amazing feeling to be part of such a beautiful community and get to share my life with all you. I feel so grateful to see and do all that different things we do even when it’s hard.
I don’t know how this works (Like you couldn’t tell)
So there’s a fact! I absolutely do no have a clue how all this works. I get messages and emails all the time letting me know to update or changes things on my WordPress and with YouTube. Understanding and trying to comply is difficult for me. It’s obvious I am missing some important elements and have been completely off many times in my posting. There’s ways I could be reaching more people but I don’t know 🤷🏻♀️ what I’m doing wrong and I clearly don’t know what to do right. I just simply do not get it! If only I had someone to walk me through it.
This brings me to YouTube and my mostly nonexistent channel. First if you know anything about me… you know I love 💕 me some YouTube! I’m also deathly afraid of it! The ways to get monetized are insane! I’m so scare!
As I was starting to make my videos and share to to my WordPress blog posts, I had lots of people send me messages telling me that they couldn’t see them. I want everyone to see what I’ve worked so hard on! So with the advice from another blogger (who has left the blogging world 🌎) and my son, I joined YouTube.
My first Video I made private and it took me almost a month to do. I’m such an idiot! 🤦🏻♀️🙄
For all my videos I use iMovie and basically I’ve decided I’m a moron. I know what your thinking (how is that hard) but understand, I used a freakin typewriter in high school! I didn’t even have a computer in my house until halfway through my senior year of high school! That computer was only used to download one song from Napster illegally and it took me hours (it ended up being the wrong song) 🤬 ! It 🖥 did nothing really but download crappy music and burn music on to CDs. I guess you could find your way into a chat room if you were brave… 😕
In college I only used a computer to type papers. That was the limit of my experience and now I’m left frustrated! 🤯 I’ve been working really hard to learn how to edit videos and piece them together, add audio to it and try to make them fun and interesting but I’m still an infant at this. It still hurts and brings me down a little when I don’t get more than 2 LIKES on Blog/vlog post that I’ve working on for a month! I’m thinking 🤔 this took me forever to pull together and I get NOTHING 🤬 “what the hell!”
Maybe I’m pathetic but I need validation… we all our things. 🤷🏻♀️🙃
Conclusion is this
After all is said and done I have to remember that I started this blog for me to connect and I am doing. I enjoy writing, sharing and this connection. I will continue to share all our of experiences and the cool place that we explore. But I think every now and then when I get an itch to share something totally different I will give myself the freedom to explore that too! You might LIKE it or you might hate it but I will enjoy creating the content either way.
The YouTube channel and the WordPress troubles that I have, it’s all complicated to me right now and that can get frustrating after awhile. But I will learn more as time goes on and get better. I’m not given up! Maybe I’ll get lucky and someone will help me!
Hope you enjoy this quick YouTube Video and don’t forget to HIT THaT LiKE BuTToN and share share share!