My Life At The Moment Chapter 1

This is me most days…

I have written 5 different blog post and failed to post any of them. This isn’t like me at all. I just can’t seem to feel good enough about any of them to publish them. 

I’ve started sharing some of my poems that I have kept to myself. This has stresses me out a little with my writing and sharing. I never know how it will be received. I’ve never been great at editing myself. Being able to find mistakes and trying fix them without changing the feeling of my words…I’m just struggling. This is why I have 5 unpublished post!

I’ve come across many encouraging outlets that have really help catapult me forward to share new things. But I am struggling to hit that publish button! 

I thought that if I prime my audience with my up coming topics, it will feel less like a surprise to them… and to me. I know y’all are fine with whatever I post and it probably doesn’t matter much to you what I write about! This is totally a mental game for me as I start to stretch myself a bit and explore some new avenue in my writing.   


Tight Courters

Here is an overview of our life recently. 

I moved yet again as most of you all know by now. We were able find an over priced house in Moorpark California. Our house is smaller and everyone does have their own space. The backyard is sweet and private for the dogs to run and play in. We seem to have nice neighbors too!

We have downsized from over 3,000 Sq ft to a little over 1,500 Sq ft. That means we have had tons and tons of STUFF we need to shift through and get rid of. It’s been a headache for sure.

My kids have a ridiculous amount of toy, clothes and just STUFF! Now we’re heading into Christmas and I worry they won’t have move for one more thing! We seriously have 100s of stuff animals and no place for them! 

My daughter collects everything. We have My Little Pony’s, Lalaloopsy dolls of every kind and size, Palace Pets, LOL dolls, squishies of all kinds, millions of Lip Smackers, Hundreds of different types of diaries and journals. Don’t get me started on the Barbies and all the babies dolls and all the crap the goes to all the Barbies and Babies! DUDE! 

My son has his own issues! He likes to keep trash. Well, it’s trash to me. All the the boxes and bags from everything he gets he thinks he needs to keep! Not only does he have way too many toy and unused things himself, he has shoe boxes, lego boxes, truck boxes!  He even keeps every soda bottle that he’s every drunk out of! He seriously is going to be the grosses hoard! I walk into his room and it’s like sticking my head in a trash can. Sticky soda cans, bottle and other frat boy like trash, chips and cookie bags, everywhere! I say throw it all away! He say it’s a memory to him. I don’t know…It’s stinks to me. Plus we have the video games…Lordt help me!

I have two kids that have normal sized rooms. They have walk-in closets that they can’t fit in their rooms at all and won’t give up a single thing. This makes it feel like we live in a mess all the time. I feel claustrophobic thinking like this! 

My sweet husband, God bless him for trying. He has been working on cleaning out the the garage, which has all of the over flow and storage items in it. He never opens a single box to look in it before he put the box away!

The problem with this is we have stuff that needs to be sold or given away or even thrown away and he is keep it all. We don’t need to keep all this crap and keep hauling it state to state with us. I might need some of this stuff!

Jason, put a box that had all our dogs stuff in it and the kids baby albums…I’ve been looking for this! I was sure that we had some rugs that were missing! Jason never opened up the damn box and just put in the garage! That system is not really taking care of anything. It makes me nuts! 

I went to open the cabinet under his bathroom sink and there was a box, totally unpack just shoved under the sink. What the hell man! He has boxes everywhere stack and he moves them all over and never unpacks them or throws them away. This makes me crazy!

Here I am the only person in this house without a walk-in closet and apparently the only one who actually unpacks boxes and gets rid of them and I have no room. All my clothes (and I don’t have much) are shoved together in a tiny little space! My bathroom stuff, make up, my essential oils business stuff and all my writing items are all stacked on my desk in my bedroom! It’s unorganized and totally chaos! I can’t think this way!

If you’re wondering why I can’t use my bathroom area? It a hallway that’s being used 24/7 by everyone, walking in and out of my room! Jason’s walk-in closet is right there too! It doesn’t work at all! I deal it and move it. 

 It’s my job to find a place for our towels, sheets, blankets and games, along with everything else and there’s just no where to put anything.

Plus no one around here helps me. Living in a smaller place everything needs it’s place to help stay organized. My family puts their stuff wherever they feel like it (I live in a zoo) and no one ever cleans up after themselves (I live in a unorganized, messes zoo). I just need a little cooperation from this damn people!

The driving 2 hours a day, cooking, cleaning, unpacking, rearranging, school meetings, handling and managing bills, the house, the kids…all the fighting and complaining and trying to keep the peace! I’m freaking beat down! I am running at full speed while I’m trying to put shoes on my feet! It’s impossible.

And here is where my nervous breakdown comes into play.

To Be Continued….

Sometimes you just need to scream!

xoxo sk


7 thoughts on “My Life At The Moment Chapter 1

      1. Life has bumps… I’m just trying to roll with punches. As my friend told me today, even with blessings and being thankful, things in life can still be hard.

      2. I agree! I’m the kind that tries to be of some kind of help. I’m learning to stay in my lane lol!

  1. That overwhelming feeling is always weird for me, you seem to be really wanting to talk it through, but handling it well. Trust your poetry – there’s no right or wrong, it’s simply you, and it will be received, and well, by those of us who follow. My guess is you’ll have something worth sharing from your deep inner self.

    1. Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words.I think writing is a way of healing for me but also the way I express what I can’t speak out loud. I’d be lost without it.

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