Us Together In This Place
What a true damn mess of a disaster I have been.
Before I start this blog, I need saying we found a house 🏠 ❤️
I didn’t think it was going to happen and my heart was really ready to take a break from looking anymore. Especially after looking at a particular home. I felt a real bond with the lady who owns it. We talked about life stuff for a while. Even more I felt like I could feel bits and pieces of my house from Colorado (Awe, that house was everything to me). The windows, the way the light floods in and hit the floors just right. It’s not a big house… it’s the right size house. It’s a sweet home, with just what we need and space we make a peaceful retreat for Jason & I. ❤️
So when we went out of our way so many times to see it and do everything we needed to…I thought Jason and I were feeling the same thing. I thought we both were seeing the vision and we both wanted this place. What a heartbreak when out of nowhere Jason says to me…Yeah, I don’t think so.. I don’t know if we should move forward… blah blah blah! Hell, I wanted to punch him! I was so mad, sad, frustrated and beyond totally confused. What in hell do you want Dude? We, just happened to moved to a place that doesn’t resemble anything we knew in Colorado or Minnesota. Nothing here will ever be okay..nothing here will ever be us because this place isn’t us, at least for now.
I know it killed Jason to take the time away from his work and long phone calls to chit-chat for hour (such a girl), to do some family business but it needed to be done. Well, because he did so kindly help me take care of some family needs, we needed up with a house.
That’s right! We got the house that Jason wasn’t sure about “anymore”. The one I thought was good…finally something we were “on the same page” about. She called me and said she had a feeling about me and my family and she just liked me.
Side Note: I had so many signs not post my vlog from a few days ago and I believe very much this is why…I got a call that we got a home offer the day I posted!
I know I’m emotional…like over what’s expectable right now. I used every face muscle I have to hold in these tears. **After a brief conversation with Jason about excepting the house offer or not** I eagerly called her back and said YES!! YES!! The last thing I said to her was thank you, you have no idea what you have done for me. What a weight you have taken off my chest and she said “I know…It’s gonna be okay”. Did God have her waiting for this messy girl (me)? So thankful…So freaking thankful.
To have a place to rest my head. A safe place to give my family…a place to make a home, is everything. It was extra hard to find a home here. It all makes me sit back and wonder…God, what lessons are you trying to teach me here?
Jason is going through his stuff just like I am going through mine. We give so much of ourselves and it just never feels like it’s enough. We can’t do things right. Why is every thing always so complicated and hard. The stress is pulling my body apart and killing us both. Why do we do this to ourselves?
We need to remember the big picture. What’s important?
Together we are lost in this place.
Together we find our way.
The Chainsmoker- Paris