Where’s My Writing Mojo?

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At the doctors office for pre post-op.

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I’m not sure what it is? Why I’m struggling to get my fingers moving again. I almost feel like I can’t write or “go back to work” until my monsters…aka kids…go back to school. So much has happened. So much has changed and so much more is going to change. I just can’t seem to get a rhythm going. I can’t find my beat. I feel like I’m trying to jump rope but my timing, my rhythm’s off so I’m tripping myself up.

I was sure after this last appointment I’d get my mojo back. I was happy and up beat. My pain is mostly all gone! Which I am ecstatic about! Living a life pain free is a miracle and one that I never thought was in the cards for me! Trust me when I said that I am over joyed with how good I feel right now. But motivation?…not so much. I feel like I have ADD really really bad. I am having a horrible time concentrating on anything at all! It take me forever to do one task because I will do half of 10 other task before I get to one I started at the start…I’m losing my mind. My focus is way off.

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I did get the thumbs up to drive again since I’m not taking any pain meds anymore. I still can’t be on my feet for long periods of time or lift anything over 10 lbs but I can drive! YAY! I am not working out, doing any Yoga, meditation or keto right now.

I can’t hardly handle writing out a single thought! Just writing this post is a struggle for me, who am I kidding! I have so much I want to say but getting the words out is more than a struggle!

I want to share with you all about my sisters and my how I am having a terrible time being myself around one of them now. I want you know that have betrayed I feel and hurt. I want to tell you how scare I am about estrogen therapy and gaining anymore weight! I want to write about my relationship my parents and how weird I feel right now. I want to write about my Grandma Magruder and how we have start talking and good this has made feel. I want to write about all my blessing and how truly grateful I am for my amazing husband, my kids and my Meg. I would love to walk you all down the road Meg and I have been through that got us to where we are today. I wish I could hold a single thought together so I could share everything thats happened the last month and what is to come in the next 30 days…but I can’t. I want to write about my son and how I have never been prouder in my life. It’s not that I don’t have the words, it’s that I don’t have the focus…I’m rattled for some reason. I just don’t am not in my writing groove right now…not yet.

I hope and pray that all of you… my sweet blogging community with stick with me while I’m in transition.

xoxo sk