What was I expecting?

 

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It’s been 6 days since my surgery and I have say that I feel surprisingly well! It’s such a bummer, I can’t leap over tall buildings, lift a car with my bear hands or even sweep my kitchen floor! 

 

In all seriousness, all my Endo pain is gone. I can move my hip perfectly fine without any pain or restriction at all. I have no back, chest, rib, leg, down there pain, at all! (Praise God!) The only pain I feel now is from the surgery itself. I’ve a bit of kidney pain because my bladder is backing up but this is normal. As I heal up and use less pain meds my body will work itself out. I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow and another in August so I am in good hands. Not to mention I have the best care at home. My amazing husband, my Meg and my sweet kiddos!

The thing is, I really thought I would be more…excited…more joyful…more happy and charged up. But I’m not. I feel drained and sleepy. I kind of want to stare at wall and do nothing, then sleep and then stare at the wall again. Is that normal? I have zero drive.

I forced myself to read a few blogs but I didn’t have the energy to comment (sorry). I am so behind keeping up with all the different blogs that I follow and I know there’s no way to get caught up at this point. I want to be real with ya’ll and really read and not blindly like a blog post that I haven’t actually read…so ya’ll please know that I am still here and I’m doing my best in my post-surgery state. I want to give every blogger and every blog the up most respect and read it all the way through…however…I am like a thousand or more blogs behind right now and feel like warmed over poop…so yeah, I might not get to it. Thanks for understanding! : )

I also feel weird about my own blog. I had to force myself to write today and that is just not me at all. This blog is my baby! I don’t feel like my super positive, joyful…happy self. I don’t feel inspired or motivated at all. Maybe I am expecting too much of myself to soon? I mean there’s part of me that wants to rip my house apart and move around every room to make sure the Feng Shui is perfect in each room but I also want to sleep for a thousand years and eat double stuff Oreo cookies. I am a super contradiction right now. I want to so much but I don’t have to drive to anything. Taking a shower is a lot for me right now.

It’s hard to write when I feel blah and my head is so foggy. I don’t have a lot of energy to do much yet. I am not depressed or even sad though. I am just feeling sleepy and unmotivated mostly and that sucks. So I will give myself some more time to heal and get my strength back. I know I can’t stay in this funk forever.

Thanks to all of you for your sweet prayer and thoughts! It meant everything to me! Thank you for your patience during this time of healing and unclogging my brain. 

xoxo sk