I have realized that sometimes, no matter what’s happening in the world around you or even to you, you have to create some happiness for yourself. Be Happy! Be Thankful! No matter what else is happening SMILE anyway!
Jason, my Husband and myself are on a self-improvement kick right now. It feels really good. We are buying ourselves the things we tend to go without normally such as, underwear and socks, undershirts and bras. Seriously, I had bras from 1997 and most all the elastic from my underwear was done. All of Jason’s “white” shirts were a nice shade of taupe. We had began sharing socks at this point. We were both very over due for some self-care.
I got myself some damn pants! Now if a man looked in my closet it may look as though I have lot of pants. You know, skinny jean, boot cut, straight leg, capris but I don’t. I have been every size from a 5-13 and back again more than once. ( I blame these damn kids) I did finally get rid of my 5s and 6s. I know that ship has sailed sadly. So out of all the sizes I have I had only one pair that fits me okay. Anyway… what I needed was a pair of pants to fit right. You know, that I can fit all my butt in! I feel like a horse sometimes. Thin in some areas and thick in others. I am like a little kid constantly pulling up my pants but it’s not because I don’t have a booty… it’s because totally I do! However, my waist is smaller. Nothing fits right. I am a bit misshapen I’m afraid.
Jason got himself a hoodie, some work shirts and some shoes. I got some yoga gear and decent make-up, along with some good hair products for once. I order my supplements and vitamins and he did the same. I got a better yoga mat and even scheduled a massage this week.
We both have been buying different and better food. We’ve changed our eating habits. I am working out more. We have planned family outings (AKA Kelly Adventures), where we all go do something together that does not include being on a phone, computer or tablet! We also plan time just for us to reconnect, our date night. And of course make time with our friends. It’s been the best thing we have done for ourselves.
However, I felt guilty as hell for taking care of me. I wanted Jason to do it. But for some reason I felt like I was being selfish and taking away from the kids or the house. As I look back now, I totally was trying to make up for my stupid guilt. I got Gigi something every single time we walked into any store. I could have just got my milk and creamer but nope I ended up $60 broker. I couldn’t even tell you all the things I wasted money on for her. I have been super soft with Tristan and gave him an extra $20 just for doing his normal chores. He should have only gotten $10. I also drove him to school so that he wouldn’t have to ride the crowded, loud bus to school! I took him to a get donuts for breakfast twice last week before school too. I never do that. I even ordered $50 of slime supplies for these kids!
First of all, I am going broke by doing this. Second thing is this is a F’d up way to think. I know this! When I told Jason about my guilt, he said I shouldn’t feel this way. He said basically from now on this isn’t going to be a democracy. It would be more like a Monarchy. He’s the King and I’m the Queen. The way it’s been going down is that Tristan, our 12 year old is the King and Grace, our 7 year old is the Queen. I am a slave, peasant women and Jason is a nomad.
So this week we had our family time. We took the kids to see Monster Trucks. It was a blast! We went out to lunch, cleaned out the garage, enjoyed the sunshine by taking a walk! The kids were playing throughout the neighborhood and everyone was happy. I went to my yoga class and did some free writing and a little reading too. It was a nice weekend with my peeps!
This week what I will be focused on is choosing to love my body. Being happy I have an able body. Even when I am in pain I still can move. I am so blessed for that and so very grateful! I’ll also focus on laughing and smiling! This wipes worry and stress out! I will only listen to, watch or invite in my world things that make me smile, laugh or just plain feel good inside! I am going to move my body everyday. It might be going for a long walk, yoga, stretching or a full core workout, either way I am going to do something everyday! I am also going to rest and repair my body with the best Essential Oils in the world and God’s Grace in heart. Most importantly I am just plain going to be happy and thankful in God’s presences, in His stillness and in His beauty. That’s it. Simple.
We have some awesome weather coming our way this week. I am planning on being with friends with weekend and doing the big spring clean out this week. All is well in my soul!