You know when you’re doing really good! Your workouts are on point, your eating well, feeling happy, the family is doing good and the house is taking care of…I’m on top of it. I’m feeling like a rock star! Then one day that achy pain that’s been nagging me forever is more then just a nuisance….it’s a full-blown spiky baby in there! My body has been High Jacked.
My Bodies been High Jacked…
Wouldn’t you know, I’m doing awesome and my body puts a stop to my fun! I have endometriosis. I was diagnosed in 2002-ish, I believe. I have dealt with ovarian cyst since I was a teen. My female organs hate me… But I was able to somewhat control it with birth control when I was younger.
Until I was put on this nasty medication for my migraine/seizures. I guess birth control and Topamax don’t mix well. Since having a baby wasn’t a worry for me anymore it was easy to say fine, I’ll stop the birth control, just to stop the pain in my head and keep the black outs from happening anymore. But fast forward now… my insides are freaking out on me without anyway to control the pain. The endometriosis has ran ramped!
The other real annoying thing is, all my labs and ultrasounds came back basically normally. Maybe I’ll have a small cyst from time to time, I can handle that. And I realize I sound like a totally A-hole. Having a normal lab should be great news and in many ways it is! I just would also LOVE to have some actually evidence that the doctor can see so they can treat me. Because right now I’m just living with mystery pain in my lower abdomen. This pain has stopped me in my tracks. And that really pisses me off!
So being a girl can be a really bummer sometimes but the best part about this whole crappy thing is I actually have people to lean on… like really good people!
I moved here to MN a little over a year ago, not knowing a soul other than my kids and husband. I don’t know what it was about CO but everyone was alway so busy in their own lives, me included. If you didn’t have family to help you out, then you basically had no one. At least that was the case for me.
In CO making and keeping friends, trying to spend time together was hard. I had and have friends in CO but everything is very different now. Back in CO you had to plan months in advance to do anything together at all. And forget just dropping by to say hello… that just didn’t happen. Our lives were all always crazy and chaotic and far to busy for each other. I wish I could go back and change that.
I have those friends now and I am that friend! I feel so incredible blessed for it! Of course I am different here. I am less stressed and more open. I take the moments as they come and just enjoy them!
As I am laying in my bed doubled over in pain, my friend and neighbor is feeding my child and keeping her entertained. If you knew Grace, you would know that’s a lot! I knew if I needed to go to the ER or if this situation does require surgery, my friends will be there. Even more importantly, I feel confident that they will make sure my kids are taken care of. I honestly couldn’t be more thankful! Best people ever!
As it sits now, I’ve done my urine test, blood test and ultrasounds. My doctor can’t find anything that would cause me the pain that I’m dealing with. So most likely it’s my endometriosis gone crazy!
The options I have right now is taking something to shut down my female organs and putting me into menopause or cut to the chase and having a full hysterectomy. Did I mention I am 37?
Both choices are huge for me and I need to think but think fast but I can’t live in this pain and still stay on the path I’ve been on. I need to keep focused, motivated and moving forward. The last thing I want is for depression to come after me again.
I will pray on this for now…. be thankful I have the husband and kids that I have to help me through this, along with the amazing friends I’ve made. There’s always something to be thankful for! Thank God for the sliver-lining!