I am but a crumble paper on the floor…
When The Weight Of Your Story Amounts to Nothing…
I just want to connect. I want to share but maybe I don’t have the story I thought I did. It means a great deal to me but I seem not to be reaching out and grabbing the attention of others. Why? Am I watering down my truth, maybe? Am I scared to reveal myself totally?
My childhood, my journey to rebound, growth, loss, recovery, love, marriage, pain, heartbreak, saving myself, God’s Grace, loneness… I’m fine.
Nothing can hurt me now. I am the mother, the father and companion. I heal, I fix, I manage, I care, I sing, I dream, I live alone. I am tough.
I have God’s strength to pull through the dark times, I’m fine. I have seen the light. My body may be sore and tired but I will carry myself onward. You just go on ahead.
I don’t need anyone to know my life’s story. God knows. That’s enough. I’ll keep my head up. Making plans, staying strong, moving on.
Do I found myself more important? I hoped I would have been more important to you. But that’s okay. I’m fine.
I have some wear and tear. This life and been rough on me but you don’t want hear that. I am sorry. How can I attend to you? How can I make you feel better?
Who’s more important? Certainly, not I. This girl who takes care the children, the responsible one, the quite one, the one who better know her place. Yeah, I get it.
I have some crease and I am a little worn. It’s okay. I figure things out. I always do. I have been taught to do the hard stuff. I am good at survival. I am good at the smile.
I won’t say another word…you won’t hear from me. I am not more important. I’m fine.