Finding my center

I know all the self-care tricks…let’s be real about this… I’ve been at this mental health game for awhile now. You know, picking myself back up after a emotion slip up. I know all the different mindful tricks in the book by now and I agree that most work. I also know with consistency and more positive days that the falls aren’t as steep and the recovery  time is quicker. I can say with a very grateful heart that finding my center is easier than it use to be. I have done some real tough work on myself. I am proud of that and it has paid off in huge ways. One of the biggest pay offs is the recovery time, finding my center after a fall. I have the skills to get back on track. I know myself better now and that makes knowing which self- care tricks work best for me because everyone is different. 

I thought I would share what I use to help me jump back on track but honestly all  of these things I try to do everyday. I would be lying if I say I am awesome at keeping this up every single day because I have children, a husband, life happens and sometimes what I want to happen just doesn’t. Also for me being an Empath and very in-tune to my environment, smells and the feeling of others might mean that what works for me may not work you. I need a lot of breaks away from people.

Tips for finding your center…

*Take a warm bath…relax

*Sleep on it…take the time to process

*Watch what you eat…it effect your mind & body greatly

*Take breaks from people…recharge you mind, body & soul by being alone. (My favorite)

*Spend time outside…Sunshine and fresh air is so important

*Declutter…having unnecessary papers, junky trash around your space only junks up your mind too. clean it up!

**Your space…create a positive environment. Smells, I use my essential oil diffuser. Lighting, open the blinds and let the sunshine in or maybe you need the light dimmed and you can you a lamp to soften the room.

*Meditations…Breathing exercise to calm & center your mind.

***Journaling or free writing is also an important way to free your busy mind.

***Yoga has been the best workout for me. It’s great for core strengthening, lengthening your body/spine, balance and tones every muscle in your body. Along with releasing built up tension in your body. It is also easy on your joints.

***Take special care not to take on extra work, responsibilities, or projects while your in recovery mode.

**Sleep… 7 to 8 hours of sleep at night. Having a well rested mind and body for a well functioning day is important. Take a nap if you can. No more than a hour but listen to your mind and body when it needs to sleep.

*Dreams…start paying attention to you dreams. Write them down and do some research. Is your subconscious trying to tell something?

*Reconnect… go on a date with your spouse or meet up with some old friends. It’s good to laugh and be in your zone of comfort with your people. It reminds you that’s you’re loved and part of a group. You need to have fun and be light-hearted sometimes! It’s good for your soul! And fun is fun, right?

Last but not least….

***Be Gracious in your healing… the healing process isn’t easy and it takes time. We all can have years even, where we feel absolutely amazing. We can feel like we are doing this life thing awesome but then something out of nowhere will triggers us and we are right back in that dark place in a snap. I become that scared, lost, insecure, 16 year old all over again. You are sent right back to that place. So this is the thing, Be Gracious in our brokenness because we just don’t know what or when we could trip and fall. Everyday is work. We can have great days that don’t take to much work too but we will in fact have dark darks every now and then. Be gracious in those day. Take care of yourself on those days. Take of care of others on their bad days. Because those days are scary, they’re messy, and climbing out of them are not easy. It’s okay to say “You know what?” “Today we’re staying home and drinking coffee all day and writing” “You need this.” Because the truth is we are ALL  a little broken, some of us just show it more than others.

Where I’m at now… 

I’ve had some time to reflect and process and…



I don’t want to go back over the last few weeks. I have closed that door and it’s done or over now. That doesn’t mean my emotions will never come on me like a thunderstorm ever again. No, that will happen from time to time and I will be prepared the best I can when it does. Now I know why I feel so deeply, so strongly, so much and all the time, I can call it by name. And I think it’s pretty amazing, even a blessing. I am embracing and learning how to channel this new knowledge of being an Empath and it’s healing abilities. Along with keeping a good, healthy routine and diet. Knowledge is power and when I know better I do better.

Sometimes getting yourself back on track is taxing but one thing I know for sure is it’s away worth it. It made seem like such a struggle to go back to the Yoga class with all those people but once it’s over I am always glad I went. It’s hard to push myself to take the vitamins, have the kale smoothies, drink gallons of water and make myself go to bed by 9pm every night but my body is alway reward for it. It seems so annoying, like one more chore to meditate, do my devotion, engage in a Bible study and complete a mental health challenge but it’s heals my mind and brings my soul peace. It helps me to build a closer relationship to God every time I do.  Why would I not treat myself with way?  Why do I keep choosing to beat myself up? When we know something is good for us and it feels good too, why do we not do it? I know I’m not alone out there! I need to be better about rewarding my mind, my body and my soul with the good stuff because it deserves it and if I take care of it then it will  take care of me.

I have always found JOY, peace, rejuvenation, and safety in a good health self-care routine. Now making sure I don’t get detracted and come off of it is my issue.  Also having a partner in your life that really knows you and truly cares about your JOY is vidil. I am blessed to say I do.  And I am not an easy one to figure out…that goes without saying…even I struggle.

Jason, my husband is so important in my success just as I am in his. Of course he takes on life very different than I do but I still need to be able to support him and meet his emotional needs just as much as I need him to meet mine. I just happen to be overly in-tune to the frequency of the environment and every single person I am near or not near for that matter. That’s just how it is. So because of that we have had to tweak somethings in our relationships.

For example, date nights are more than just date nights for us. It’s a time to truly reconnect, laugh and reground ourselves again. I need them for me a wife. I need to know I am more than “just”a mom. I am still  attractive and fun. Being home 24/7 with kids in my sweatpants doesn’t scream hot mama! Sometimes I need to be out with people my height and age enjoying an adult beverage!

Tonight (Saturday) Jason and I went to a place called Doolittles in Fargo, North Dakota. It was one of the best places I have been to in ND yet! I had such a good time with Jason. He made all the plans! He made the reservation, he ordered my wine for me, opened my door for me…just all the things that reminded me I am in a relationship. I spend so much time alone I forget what it’s just like to even be looked at by the opposite sex. I know that may sound dumb but I don’t get out much and when I do no one is talking to me. Eye contact anymore feels weird to me but tonight everything fell right into place. We had a really great conversation too. We didn’t only talk about the kids and work, we talked about our future and what makes us happy and we reminisced. It was great. It felt really good. We stopped for a coffee after and then headed home. Perfect.

Now normally my emotional status would have gone up and down all night. Not happy and sad but sleepy and anxious… I would have been worried about a million different things and what I needed to do the next day. Things did come up on this date too but Jason knows me well and how to help level me back out. That helps.

So all in all I am doing good right now. I went to my Yoga class and am preparing for a busy week. I know I can do this because I’ve done it tons of time before! And you know what if I have a little melt down along the way  I will be Gracious to myself about it.

Life is beautiful journey but sometimes you need to be able to rest your head and maybe even shed a few tears. Then get back up and keep going.




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