Last night was rough. My bones hurts, my head hurt and chest was tight. Surgery day is upon us. I have been overwhelmed with fear and feeling the body aches the way I did last night sure didn’t help my mind set. Sleeping through it was the best I could do.
My dreams were more colorful, more intents last night. I woke feeling like I was given a messages. I replayed my dream in my head, trying to understand it. All I knew was that my body felt lighter and my chest could now take in air easily. I had no more tightest through my body. I could stretch out and it felt good. My body wasn’t locking up on me anymore. It’s as if I was healed over night. Even my fears were gone.
As I sat up this morning, listening to wind blow through the trees outside my window I knew another winter storm had arrived. I laid in my warm bed for a few minutes trying to piece together my night. I honestly couldn’t remember even going to bed. My dream began to revisit me. I played it back the best I could remember. I saw all my friends from past years. Friends I have cared for deeply even though now we may not speak at all. They were all around me helping me with everything, my family and my home…which wasn’t my home in my dream. I was being held and I felt so much love. We laughed and drank and played games just like the old days! I watched my old friends love on my kids. It was awesome. Then I would half wake up due to the incredible loud wind hitting the house, it had become part of my dream. It was as though the wind was it’s own character in my dream now. It was invisible but brutal, loud and tore up everything in it’s path! I remember seeing a horrible storm hitting my sisters house in another part of world and feeling panicked and helpless. Only for those friends to reappeared in my dream and they had all the answers to everything. All my worried, all my doubt, fears… they took them away. All the of the feelings, pressure of being everything to everyone and yet not being able to do everything for anyone was gone. It was replace with love. A deep sense of peace.
I am someone who likes to read my dreams. I got up, took a deep breath and knew today I had noting to fear. LET HIS HIGHER WILL BE DONE. My dreams of old friends… maybe I missing them. I know that I do but I also miss parts of me from back then. I was healthier. I could be more active and it didn’t hurt, it was fun! I miss the carefreeness I use to have. I miss laughing. And the storm that hit my sister, who is one of the most important people in my life, could indicate my emotional state. She lives on the coast and in my dream the ocean was in major turmoil. I have been in turmoil and she certainly has her share as well. It could be feeling of being overwhelmed and stressed by life. I am also in process of finding my true self which is part of dreaming about water. I am soul searching! I was scared in my dream but as soon as my old friends came back into the picture it all calmed back down. I wasn’t worried, I wasn’t scared, my fear was gone, my sister was safe, I was safe.
Yesterday, I was struggling…today I am ready. I believe GOD sent this dream and these people to me to send me a message. To tell me that HE knows I’ve been struggling. HE sees me. HE has angels watching over me and HE cares for me. HE is watching over my sister also and HE knows! HE is there. So NO more negative vibes, negative thoughts, or fears! Trust in what I have always known to be true. GOD is with me, HIS angel are over me. HE walks along side of me. HE sees me. There is nothing I go through that HE doesn’t know about. If I feel pain, HE feels pain. HE wants the best for me.
Sometimes our heads and our hearts are in a tug or war. My heart knows to choose JOY and that GOD’s LOVE is free and available to me right now. My head can get in the way. Which is a whole other story. I am choosing JOY, PEACE, LOVE AND GOOD VIBES!
So today I walk in to my surgery with confidence. I looked forward to answers and putting this part of the process behind me. Today I can breathe easy knowing GOD’s got me. It’s all good!