Who are you?… Who are you? No… really who are you? What do you want? No, what do you deeply want? When I am asked these questions, my answer is I am Sarah. I am a mom… I am a very scared mom, who is stressed out and is doing my very best. I am a mom who loves her kids to pieces and prays for them nonstop! I am Sarah. I am a <3 wife. I am a women who is doing her best by her husband to keep her marriage alive in the midst of adulting her a** off and feeling completely exhausted and overwhelmed most days. I am a friend and a sister, a daughter… I am.. gosh, I am funny, I am weird some times, I am… still figuring it out. And what do I want? Really… I want to be healthy. I want to have pure JOY in my life, in my soul. I want my kids to have pure JOY. I want love! I want that for everyone. What about about you?
One of my many challenges was being asked many times over and over “Who are you?” And every time my answer would get deeper and deeper but there was a point, I thought I don’t really know who in the heck I am? I ran out of things to say. I am just a person on a journey…I don’t know who I am. I am just getting to know me. I am liking this person far more than I liked the person I was before. I guess maybe because I didn’t know that person and I created that person out of judgement and fear. But I now get to surrender all the layers I have built up for protect and get to discover who I am. It’s different. I like it.
What do I want? Not, what do I need but what do I want? I don’t want a big house or more money. I don’t want anything that can and will go away. Even happiness can be situational. I want deep soul shaking JOY! Something that no one can take way but can be given away at anytime to others! I want to be able to tap in to the spirit of LOVE and JOY and spread it like fire! I want to be the light in the darkness! I want that for Jas, my marriage, my kids. I want it for everyone.
I am on this journey to discover my JOY and share that JOY! I am becoming one with the Universe/God and being faithful to the path He puts forth. May HIS higher WILL be done! This me… is different from what some know of me and I am sure I have some friends and family that may think I have lost it completely. No friends, I am okay… I am just woke! I am choosing to live in a space of LOVE rather than fear. This has created a home of peace for me and my family. And made interactions with others enjoyable for me, when I couldn’t be in a room a people before! When you have anxiety and depression as bad as I do and it has gone untreated your whole life, you get to a point you realize medication isn’t enough! You have to do something more! I am not saying medication isn’t a good thing. Take your meds people! But also know YOU have a power in you to change the space you’re living in and that power is LOVE!
- Make LOVE your priority– For me this means, I need some self-care before I see a single person in the morning! Maybe start your day with a prayer, meditation or a devotion. Take time to call on the Universe to help you out! Prayer time is a good time to reconnect and prepare for the day. Put your amor on!
- Prayer for truth– Have a prayer to bring your thoughts back to truth when you feel yourself start spinning in negativity. I call on God to bring my thoughts back to LOVE. I surrender false hoods about myself, I forgive myself and these thoughts and I know that am I LOVE, I am PEACE, I am COMPASSION, I am YOURS! You can meditate at this time. I know it has helped me to recenter and get back to a place of peace.
- Walk with humility– Know that you are not more special or better than anyone else. Be greater than your circumstances and be kind to everyone. We are all learning as we go here. Our vibes speak louder than our words. This is new for me but huge! In with positive vibes, out with low vibes. Your vibes effect everyone no matter what your words say…”no, I’m fine” than the dark cloud follows you all over the house. You’re spreading that low vibe all over everyone. Be the light!
- Grateful– I read in Gabby’s book that we should be grateful in all situations that make us feel uncomfortable because without them we wouldn’t know there is something unhealed in us. This one really hit a nerve with me! I have past pain and I can go years without a trigger and than BOOM I am a scared little girl or an anger teenager. I am again on a journey to healing and discovering my true self and these different situations in my life push me to confront things I have pushed away. How will I ever reach the JOY I am so grasping at that is right here, right now with this unhealed wound?
Remember you are the spirit of LOVE and our purpose is to be LOVE and spread LOVE:
(From Gabrielle Bernstein, The Universe has your back)
To use the power GOD has given you as HE would have, is natural. It is not arrogant to be as HE created you. However, it is arrogant to lay aside the power HE gave and choose a little senseless wish instead of HIS will.